Would you lend your son money late pay day

victory

My eldest has been in work a few weeks, because of a mess up with his bank details his boss has said he will get paid 2 weeks later than he thought, in between that it is his and his gf 1st going out anniversary which he is super excited about as is his gf ,so he has asked his dad to lend him the money to take her out for dinner etc....

I am strongly against this, OH says I am over reacting, sure he will pay it back, that is not in doubt and it won't be a whole heap of money, I get that but what is the point of son working earning his way and not yet again the same as it happens to millions of us making him understand if he has not got it he can't afford it....

OH says he has got it and he will pay back but the wage does not arrive until after his big 1st anniversary celebration......

I say tough, you will have to explain it to gf and do it when you do get paid or suggest a lesser celebration, if you haven't got the money on the exact day...

I have tried suggesting all sorts of no money ideas to son but he has got the idea that no MSE will be needed on the day, it is too special to ruin with penny pinching..... but he has not got it then has he?


I just think it is daft my son 'getting into debt' with his dad for something that could with explanation to his gf be postponed, it is romantic I see that but not important to already 'owe money' for his 1st pay day...


OH disagrees, what do you all think?

mrshaz

i'd say lend it to him, and make it very clear it is a one time deal, it wasnt his fault that he didnt get paid (i know thats life) if it doesnt put his dad into any debt and it isnt a lot of money then its not such a huge deal.

i totally agree though about learning to live with what he has etc but you are very lucky that you have a son who has gone and got a job, you think the world is your oyster when you get your first pay check, and for a few paychecks it gets wasted because its your money, without realising what might happen, he will learn you need to coax him (not nag) in the right direction, and helping him out just once isnt going to compromise that.

remember how you felt when you first fell in love...its all part of growing up.

teagan1966

hi
i know this doesnt help you decide , but wouldnt most companies pay him cash in this case , sounds a bit dodgy maybe?

teagan1966

i meant the company not ur son lol

jackieblack

mrshaz wrote: »

i'd say lend it to him, and make it very clear it is a one time deal, it wasnt his fault that he didnt get paid (i know thats life) if it doesnt put his dad into any debt and it isnt a lot of money then its not such a huge deal.

i totally agree though about learning to live with what he has etc but you are very lucky that you have a son who has gone and got a job, you think the world is your oyster when you get your first pay check, and for a few paychecks it gets wasted because its your money, without realising what might happen, he will learn you need to coax him (not nag) in the right direction, and helping him out just once isnt going to compromise that.

remember how you felt when you first fell in love...its all part of growing up.

I agree 100%

scheming_gypsy

he's not getting 'into debt' with his dad, he's just borrowing a few quid till pay day. You sound a bit tight to be honest.

meg72

I would lend it him.Its not that he cant afford it,he has earned it and through no fault of his own doesnot have it yet.

richardw

A more important life lesson here may be the reasoning behind the mess up with his bank details and why he is being paid late.

Why did this mess up happen?

Who is at fault?

What can your son learn from this to possibly avoid such a mess up happening again?

victory

Not tight but keep telling him sure he can have this and that if he can afford it, anyone can, if you wanted to go out and buy I don't know a new laptop for eg go and do it, who cares if you have the money you can go and get it and enjoy but.... until pay day no fault of his own I see that, he has not got the money so he needs to understand that and try to tone down the anniversary costs to adjust to that fact.....

There is no point looking forward to pay day when some of it has already gone, is that not how we got into this credit card borrowing recession Country mess?

mrshaz

but to be fair our dads dont issue the credit cards

victory

richardw wrote: »

A more important life lesson here may be the reasoning behind the mess up with his bank details and why he is being paid late.

Why did this mess up happen?

Who is at fault?

What can your son learn from this to possibly avoid such a mess up happening again?

It is his boss fault and he has apologized for it, he says that when he went to put in the long number at the top he missed out on a 2, so the following week the paper work came back and told him he was missing a number, the 2, son had taken 2 days off to run his marathon so missed seeing his boss to have it explained, when he did meet up those 2 weeks had gone by and now it is sorted and he will be paid effectively 2 weeks later....