Would you lend your son money late pay day

victory

halibut2209 wrote: »

No. He will have £900 instead of £500. He is getting paid double.

Your choice of course, but what goes around comes around. A great way to alienate your son who, in your own words, has been "trying really hard" to better himself.

Thank you he has and I agree that it is an alienation of sorts but wanted to teach money in a good way and thank you because I never thought of that because he has 2 weeks delay he then will have 2 weeks more money so thank you:D

lostinrates

victory wrote: »

So figures, how much to lend for how much work?

A one off lend and then when he gets paid he gets paid in full ?

Explain to him this is not your fault but don't ask again?

If I were lending it it would be in retiurn for light chores as interest....something he can do in a quick morning/afternoon....cutting the grass, cleaning the windows and checking firealarms for example...something like that extra to normal household chores he is expected to do but can do within a couple of hours


For a gift (which is what I'm leaning towards as it would be good for GF relations with you in the future, a good thing) I'd expect a bigger job opr collection of jobs....maybe still windows...clearing out guttering of debris..

thing is, what it would be would depend on your home/jobs need or want doing. The kind of things that get put off forever....clearing out the garage or whatever....something that makes him feel he has earnt it and lifts a weight off your mind and lets them have a nice evening.

yes, tell him its not your fault and its not something you will do regularly, but I wouldn't say ''never again'' because who knows...you might want something else done someday!

victory

Bennifred wrote: »

Well that's good.

In that case I would lend him the money as a strict "one off" and on the understanding that it is paid back immediately he gets paid. And once he is being paid regularly he won't have any need to borrow, because he'll be able to save up, won't he?:)

I do hope so.:D..............................

Threebabes

Another one for lending it to him.

victory

poet123 wrote: »

I would lend him the money, and give him the Champagne too. Think of how many worse things he could be asking for money for. You cannot put an anniversary date on hold, the date is set, it simply won't mean the same to them when they look back if it is not on the significant date.

Thank you I had already thought of giving him the champagne even though he said no because I just think they would like that:D

newcook

victory wrote: »

Thank you, for calling me mean, your assuming I would say no and take it back off him and assuming as I always say is a dangerous game, no good comes out of assuming:D

Of course you and I and all of us deserve to be spoilt of course we do just not if you do not have the money to do it on that time.

from what you have said on other threads if something is turned down the first time it is not offered again and if it is asked for after its been turned down its a flat no. (I havent assumed, just stating what you have said before)

if he was paid on time he would have the money - it is not his fault that his pay has been delayed. I appreciate its not your fault either but you are in a position to make your son and his girlfriend have a very happy, nice and memorable 1st anniversary. by not lending the money it will still be memorable but for the wrong reasons.

victory

lostinrates wrote: »

If I were lending it it would be in retiurn for light chores as interest....something he can do in a quick morning/afternoon....cutting the grass, cleaning the windows and checking firealarms for example...something like that extra to normal household chores he is expected to do but can do within a couple of hours


For a gift (which is what I'm leaning towards as it would be good for GF relations with you in the future, a good thing) I'd expect a bigger job opr collection of jobs....maybe still windows...clearing out guttering of debris..

thing is, what it would be would depend on your home/jobs need or want doing. The kind of things that get put off forever....clearing out the garage or whatever....something that makes him feel he has earnt it and lifts a weight off your mind and lets them have a nice evening.

yes, tell him its not your fault and its not something you will do regularly, but I wouldn't say ''never again'' because who knows...you might want something else done someday!

I agree and thank you, I can see that working totally thank you.

Especially the bit about gf relations, very good point:D

victory

newcook wrote: »

from what you have said on other threads if something is turned down the first time it is not offered again and if it is asked for after its been turned down its a flat no. (I havent assumed, just stating what you have said before)

if he was paid on time he would have the money - it is not his fault that his pay has been delayed. I appreciate its not your fault either but you are in a position to make your son and his girlfriend have a very happy, nice and memorable 1st anniversary. by not lending the money it will still be memorable but for the wrong reasons.

I see what you mean that was a no because of his attitude, a no because of the way he spoke, a no because he was driving everyone mental so there were the no's.

You are right, I am or OH is going to see he gets the money:D

pinkpig08

I would lend it to him, too. It's not his fault he hasn't been paid and, whilst you may not see it as an 'emergency', it is important to him and is something he would have spent his money on if he had been paid on time. If he had been paid, spent it all, THEN come asking your OH to lend him some then I would say no, as he would need to be taught the value of money. But I don't see how he needs to learn a lesson from something that wasn't his fault?

podperson

I have to agree you are being a little harsh. If you had no money to lend him then fair enough but you would lend it for what you would class as an emergency but not for something that is obviously very important to him.
I fail to see how that is teaching him the value of money - either you are showing him how it is in the real world and he gets no money lent to him for anything and if, for example, he has no bus fare then he walks, if he can't afford his phone bill it gets cut off - which is what would happen to him if he had no one to borrow from, or you as his family are willing to help him out a little when he has been let down by his work and as long as he's not blowing his money on rubbish and he pays you back when agreed then does it really matter what he is using it for?
I know my parents would sometimes help me out when I was stuck - I would usually have a fight with them to make them take it back again! Did it give me a poor attitude to money? - no I don't think so, I have always followed their example - worked hard for what I have, pay my own way and try to be mse in attitude.