Would you lend your son money late pay day

pimento

victory wrote: »

My eldest has been in work a few weeks, because of a mess up with his bank details his boss has said he will get paid 2 weeks later than he thought, in between that it is his and his gf 1st going out anniversary which he is super excited about as is his gf ,so he has asked his dad to lend him the money to take her out for dinner etc....

I am strongly against this, OH says I am over reacting, sure he will pay it back, that is not in doubt and it won't be a whole heap of money, I get that but what is the point of son working earning his way and not yet again the same as it happens to millions of us making him understand if he has not got it he can't afford it....

OH says he has got it and he will pay back but the wage does not arrive until after his big 1st anniversary celebration......

I say tough, you will have to explain it to gf and do it when you do get paid or suggest a lesser celebration, if you haven't got the money on the exact day...

I have tried suggesting all sorts of no money ideas to son but he has got the idea that no MSE will be needed on the day, it is too special to ruin with penny pinching..... but he has not got it then has he?


I just think it is daft my son 'getting into debt' with his dad for something that could with explanation to his gf be postponed, it is romantic I see that but not important to already 'owe money' for his 1st pay day...


OH disagrees, what do you all think?

Absolutely, I would. Wouldn't even have to think about it.

jetplane

Glad you're lending him the money, you sound like the grinch taking the shine off his celebration it wouldn't be a dilemma for me.

If my mother had refused every payday advance I asked for I would have been stuffed many a time and the loan wasn't conditional on what I needed it for. I wouldn't hesitate to do this for my daughter.

The lesson is learnt when they pay it back and have to budget for the month ahead. The pride of watching him going off to buy his GF a meal with his own earnings probably means I'd give him half back or even all of it.
:rotfl:

victory

The grinch and finances ,great combination:rotfl::D

poppy_f1

personally i would give him the money, i also wouldnt prompt him on payday for it i would see if he came and gave it back
if he hadnt by the next day then i would lay down the law and never give him a loan again

Ziggazee

Crikey, I'm glad you're not my mother. I wouldn't hesitate to lend it him.....after all, isn't part and parcel of being a parent having the ability to help your children out from time to time. It's not his fault he won't get paid. As someone else said, you sound a bit tight to me.

System

I know you've already made your decision, but I just wanted to put in my two cents since you're still getting people on here telling you how mean you are! I can absolutely see where you were coming from, particularly given your son's attitude to money in the past and your own problems with debt. I think lending him the money as a one-off is the right choice, given that it's not his fault and he's been trying so much harder to be a good son! Having said that, I think your reasons for taking some time to decide were valid, and you shouldn't listen to people calling you mean or a bad mother!

Katgrit

Lend him the money you spoilsport!! My Dad has a phrase he regularly uses about my Mum "She knows the price of everything and the value of nothing". Think that applies to this thread perfectly!

euronorris

victory wrote: »

No, true it was never going to be a fortune, OH is happy to it is just me I can't seem to get past the 'what is the point of teaching him the value of money that if you have it you can afford it and if you have not you can't' philosophy to life and then owe money for his first pay day.

I do see he is madly in love and wants the best for his gf, I suppose I just wish they could 'delay it until he can afford it' type answer:D

I understand where you are coming from, but if it wasn't for his boss's c*ck up, then he would be able to afford it.

So, as you are able to afford to lend him the money, and your OH is happy with it also, I would lend him the money on this occasion.

Think of it in a 'I'm helping out my son who got a raw deal', rather than 'I'm helping out my son who can't afford this', because in theory, he can, he's just been let down by his employer.

January20

victory, a bit off topic and of course you could have answered that question somewhere and I missed it so apologies, but what finally happened with his birthday?

pigpen

mine just had the lack of money going in on the right day.. it wil be in NEXT Thursday apparently.. so I just lent him £20 for food.. but so long as you will definitely get it back it doesnt hurt to help them out occasionally, esp. for a special (to them) occasion.. I hope they enjoy their evening out.

The problem with saying no is they then borrow from the wrong people.. inc. people who are less understanding or want something in return.

Hope his boss gets things sorted soon!