kids lost all respect.

Welshwoofs

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Makes you wonder what she went through all alone when you were away for all those years, if you can't handle a couple of days and she had six months at a time alone and six months pretty much alone, but having to deal with you too.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but he was away earning a crust to put on the family's table - why is the implication here that him working away is some heinous crime and he's solely responsible for a f-eckless, wandering wife and 2 undisciplined children?

If you happen to be the spouse of someone in the military, chances are they'll be away for long periods of time. If you're the spouse of someone on the rigs, they're going to be away for long stretches. One would have thought, in these stretched economic times, that the sacrifice to work away for so long in order to provide would be viewed as a good thing.

DatabaseError

Welshwoofs wrote: »

. One would have thought, in these stretched economic times, that the sacrifice to work away for so long in order to provide would be viewed as a good thing.

I wish I could click the thanks button a few more times. I work away, 12hrs+/day, stay in a caravan and eat cheaply, it's ALL for the money for the family, I get through a case of beer in about 2 months, and don't go to the pub, it's not remotely a holiday (which I'd love to have)

victory

Sorry it did not work out for you, what about the kids do they know? How are they taking it? Are they with mum?

DatabaseError

yeah, kids are fine, and with mum (or rather I'm with them right now as she's at work)

victory

Oh it is such a shame but maybe in the future you will all have a better life seperate rather than together.

aliasojo

For what it's worth, I'm sorry things are so unsettled. I hope you and your family find the best way through all this.

euronorris

Welshwoofs wrote: »

One would have thought, in these stretched economic times, that the sacrifice to work away for so long in order to provide would be viewed as a good thing.

That really depends on the situation and the people involved.

If another job was available closer to home, for less money (but enough to survive), then that may have been a better option.

Whilst I don't believe the OP is entirely to blame for this situation, he isn't blameless either. I'm sure the wife is at fault here too, but for the OP to understand where he went wrong can be invaluable in resolving the issue and/or ensuring it doesn't happen again.

OP - Have you suggested Relate to your wife? Clearly you have trust issues with her, but that is no reason not to try and fix things between you. Equally, it would give you a more structured way to address the issues you have with recent events. A counsellor can often help to keep you both focused on resolving, rather than getting into yet another argument going round in circles.

It's worth a try.

Best of luck!