Would you ask your son to leave home?

Bumpmakesfour

Can I make an observation that might sound absolutely ridiculous?You say you've tried a,offered b,reasoned c,argued d etc etc.Well I honestly think that you've actually tried "too" hard if that makes sense.A lot of people would have put hit their "wall" aaaaaages ago but you've persevered with trying to get through to him for so long that I'm fairly sure all he hears when you talk to him is "blahblahblahBLAH":o
I think the time for you being so reasonable has passed,where you're at with him obviously proves that current tactics are NOT working so time for a change.It's time to really demonstrate visually rather than verbally how his behaviour is totally unacceptable.If that means an absence of actual material things,the only things he appears to actually VALUE,on his bday,then so be it.
Only my humble opinion but you come across to me as a level headed parent who obviously loves their children.Your 11 year old sounds fab which also probably annoys your 18 year old and makes him play up more..hearing how good a sibling is and how bad you are..never a good motivator.
I honestly do not envy you as putting myself in your shoes I'd find it soul destroying to have to go to such extremes on a day that should be a special milestone but I don't really see what other choice you have.Seemingly no matter what you come up with that is within your means your DS is going to be disappointed so you may aswell go the whole hog and REALLY get your point across.Good luck xx

victory

Bennifred wrote: »

Can you not see that the paragraph in red is exactly why he feels so entitled - you DO earn to make his life bliss! He's never learned the value of delayed gratification. If you've always just handed money over willy-nilly as you describe in that paragraph, why would he accept that you won't do it now? It may be on a different scale, but the principle is exactly the same!

It really is on a huge different scale a blackberry curve 9300 at £199.99 plus £10 top up or a £200/£300 money gift or a holiday to benidorn or a laptop is a huge different scale to the odd there you go son we know you have done well whilst you did this when yu were 10 or 12 or 13 and so here are have some popcorn on me at the cinema it was never ever more than the odd £s here and there not can you please empty yourwage packet into my bank account for my 18th?

Even now we only pay for his footballsubs he knows he cannot ask and get a new mobile on £30 contract he asks he does not get, he never did get, the extra mars bar he loved or a few £ to go and buy himself some sweeties is not the same

victory

Bennifred wrote: »

Good luck with it all, victory. Hopefully he will grow up one day.

Thank you I do hope so as I am sure he does not want such hurt in his life either:D

victory

Bumpmakesfour wrote: »

Can I make an observation that might sound absolutely ridiculous?You say you've tried a,offered b,reasoned c,argued d etc etc.Well I honestly think that you've actually tried "too" hard if that makes sense.A lot of people would have put hit their "wall" aaaaaages ago but you've persevered with trying to get through to him for so long that I'm fairly sure all he hears when you talk to him is "blahblahblahBLAH":o
I think the time for you being so reasonable has passed,where you're at with him obviously proves that current tactics are NOT working so time for a change.It's time to really demonstrate visually rather than verbally how his behaviour is totally unacceptable.If that means an absence of actual material things,the only things he appears to actually VALUE,on his bday,then so be it.
Only my humble opinion but you come across to me as a level headed parent who obviously loves their children.Your 11 year old sounds fab which also probably annoys your 18 year old and makes him play up more..hearing how good a sibling is and how bad you are..never a good motivator.
I honestly do not envy you as putting myself in your shoes I'd find it soul destroying to have to go to such extremes on a day that should be a special milestone but I don't really see what other choice you have.Seemingly no matter what you come up with that is within your means your DS is going to be disappointed so you may aswell go the whole hog and REALLY get your point across.Good luck xx

Exactly, now if I flew in dizzie rascal he still would not be impressed:rotfl:

Never not a xmas or a birthday or a holiday have I ever put myself in debt for a present, he knows that, not about to start now am I ?

victory

Middle of november Saints row the third:D

jellyhead

pigpen wrote: »

The point being he is not a child.. he is a man!

He's not a man though, he is a 17 year old in the second year of his A levels. I was nowhere near grown-up when I was 17.

victory

He certainly does not act like a man at times, his behaviour could be terrible twos :rotfl:

[Deleted User]

I would not risk just sounds like a typical boy. He does not understand yet, but he will :-)

[Deleted User]

jellyhead wrote: »

He's not a man though, he is a 17 year old in the second year of his A levels. I was nowhere near grown-up when I was 17.

You are right!, some people on here don't have kids and were not kids you know!.

victory

assj wrote: »

I would not risk just sounds like a typical boy. He does not understand yet, but he will :-)

hE WILL but we all suffer in the meantime?:D