Would you ask your son to leave home?

victory

jeanniebeanie wrote: »

You describe you son as "needy", but you are constantly feeding that need. he will look back and appreciate what you tried to do.

No, needy has been mis quoted, I said needy as in wanty wants demands requests needs the latest gadgets and wants this and that for his birthdya along with money etc all that has been said over and over, needy and needy not affection, attention, look at me needy no.

victory

mountainofdebt wrote: »

Don't you just love it when they think they have all the answers?

Whilst he is technically correct hasn't he twigged that by taking the approach that he has, that he has made life more difficult for himself in terms of needing to make up ground in the A2 exams - which by definition are more difficult that the AS exams - to get the grades that he needs?

tbh I think the best approach would be to drop all talk of his 18th - you're obviously justifiably upset and that any conversations about it are now non constructive and I suspect he's doing it to wind you up.

As for getting a job, perhaps you could do what I did - apply on line on Junior's behalf and tell him he's going to the interview whether he likes it or not!

He is technically right as you say and he has made it so much harder for himself now for the following year, just told me has to resit his test in Jan costing me, £17 I think he said, can't see it, he just can't see it, one of his friends did so badly was offered drop out or college, he chose college and now is wasting there. Poor teachers.

He had his mates around today and he was on about his provisonal and I told them I had already paid once for it.

I have given him papers to look at with jobs in, had web pages showing him his mates have told him where they got jobs from, his gf helps him, she fills out the online stuff, we did his cv, he did his cover note, he has an interview tomorrow at 3pm for a chinese restaurant, fingers crossed.

victory

thunderbird wrote: »

I haven't read all the comments, so sorry if repeating or missed out vital info.

I think a lot of the behaviour you speak about sounds like typical teenager reaction, ie reject every idea that your parents suggest. He wants to do things his way, not yours - even if deep down he knows they're not the best option.

Pay him if he does jobs for you (above and beyond what is responably expected) but you shouldn't be paying for football subs for an 18 year old surely?! If he really wants money then he will go and find himself a job, but I think you have to leave him to do it himself as it doesn't sound like he is interested in your help.

True and to add insult he always says 'you never help me with anything' ahh so sweet:rotfl:

victory

londoner1998 wrote: »

Are you serious? You need to let your son became an adult...

That has been misread also, read the whole of it and you will understand what I was saying;)

victory

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victory

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Bennifred

victory wrote: »

Along the way with pocket money and extra money like 'here you go son take this for cinema, or for the top you liked the other day or whatever' he has been paid handsomely along the way. Holidays, clothes, roof, etc he has never gone without.

My son often thinks family is him, earners are his payers, he is owed and he will recieve thank you.

We earn to make his life bliss.

Can you not see that the paragraph in red is exactly why he feels so entitled - you DO earn to make his life bliss! He's never learned the value of delayed gratification. If you've always just handed money over willy-nilly as you describe in that paragraph, why would he accept that you won't do it now? It may be on a different scale, but the principle is exactly the same!

victory

Uhm willy nilly now, whilst hewas growing up yes, here andthere yes absolutely, constantly no, as a belated reward yes if he did well, if he did well at school, co-operated, behaved yes it was rewarded yes.

Bennifred

Good luck with it all, victory. Hopefully he will grow up one day.