Concern about safety/ well being of my daughter - advice appreciated

DON79

ses6jwg wrote: »

Perhaps you should put yourself in my situation before you make sarcastic and unhelpful remarks.

I didn't see Emmzi's post as sarcastic and unhelpful - in fact it could very well be a good idea if you have doubts over how well your daughter is being looked after. You said you had seen a video of the mother snorting cocaine outside your daughters bedroom. That would stand up pretty well in a court custody case I would think....

princessdreamer

Just_Plain_Jane wrote: »

I know all I need to about you, thank you very much. I can see why you have communication difficulties with the ex.

They just don't get it do they.

ses6jwg

DON79 wrote: »

I didn't see Emmzi's post as sarcastic and unhelpful - in fact it could very well be a good idea if you have doubts over how well your daughter is being looked after. You said you had seen a video of the mother snorting cocaine outside your daughters bedroom. That would stand up pretty well in a court custody case I would think....

Unfortunately the, ahem, "person" who was in possession of it was not of exactly good character and wanted a signficant sum of money for it.

moomoomama27

balletshoes wrote: »

advice on what aspect? I'm sorry but I just don't know what questions regarding this situation a health visitor would have any answers to?

The ex's suitability to parent, maybe a HV would be a good person to bring the drugs concerns up to? SS didn't seem to want to know, and I can tell you I would be worried if I had that info on my ex, being round children taking drugs.

If the OP wants to try for custordy that is, then a case would need to be built, a HV would have some insight to the background, depending on how good a HV he/she is.

delain

Emmzi wrote: »

well, perhaps if you stop reacting badly/ challenging every post, people can offer practical help. I know you are massively concerned and frustrated. People here usually do genuinely want to help, just put the ones winding you up on ignore and reasoned conversation is a couple of clicks away.

Let's start with what the custody order says; what family you have living where that can help.

And have you sought help from fathers for justice? They have what I believe are useful forums and experts.

Fathers for justice are an absolute joke - their own 'publicity work' has seen to that - he'd do better to head off to Netmums where they have counsellors etc from the Family Rights group. Also it's a lot more militant there than here (you can get flamed for giving a child a sausage roll lol) and more people will probably agree with him.

FWIW I do think he is overreacting and I agree with whoever said he'd be shouting neglect if his DD hadn't had a bath!

pigpen

ses6jwg wrote: »

I should say at this point that I do not even know if my EX had given him permission to bath her this is something I'll have to find

And what if it was one of those impromptu baths when they have caked themselves in food or wet themselves or just come in from the garden wearing half of it.. baths are not always planned in advance!

Or it could just be my bunch that are grot monsters

My 6 y/o just smeared mash in her hair.. apparently she itched her head with a fork full of food.. as you do!

lynzpower

Im amazed about the response the OP is getting.

Mum goes out to work leaving the daughter with someone who is 16 and only been together since January. ( when is this lads birthday, then any ideas?) You dont know if he was asked to give daughter a bath. Mum snorting cocaine. Lovely!

Im amazed women let some random bloke in to bath their children after just 6 months of a relationship, especially with someone as young as this, seems very soon to me.

Its not surprised he thinks she is "mental" obviously he knows her better than anyone on here.

But those lines of communication with the Ex have to happen. If she is quite happy to be videoed snorting coke ( not just the drug use, but the short sightedness of whos hands the video got into ( eg SS, the police etc) I mean, does she have a problem with drugs? I think you need to know.

Hardly the perfect picture of a secure household for this little girl....? Surely?

i dont have any further advice aside from to say, that in many authorities there used to be Fathers groups, especially for "estranged" fathers, like play and craft time but with project workers and family support workers on hand to confide in and get advice from. You may want to google and see if there are any in your area.

ses6jwg

I am sorry if I came across as aggressive to some posters.

I have been through absolute hell over the last 18 months. I do not think they allow enough characters in a post to describe my experience.

If any of you met me and my daughter I would bet my life that you would see I am excellent Dad.

For all the single Mums out there I am with you when I say that deadbeat Dad's should be stuck in a bus and driven over a cliff!

But I can assure you there are plenty of deadbeat Mum's out there and can say with confidence that if you put me and my ex in a room together after 15 minutes you would see us both for what we are!

DVardysShadow

ses6jwg wrote: »

How dare you talk to me about responsibility you don't even know me!

I already applied for custody after the drugs issue, I ordered a drugs test however the bumbling courts took 5 months to issue it and by the time she had enough time to dye her hair so many times all traces of the drugs were gone.

Dare one say 'Result!'?

ses6jwg

lynzpower wrote: »

Im amazed about the response the OP is getting.

Mum goes out to work leaving the daughter with someone who is 16 and only been together since January. ( when is this lads birthday, then any ideas?) You dont know if he was asked to give daughter a bath. Mum snorting cocaine. Lovely!

Im amazed women let some random bloke in to bath their children after just 6 months of a relationship, especially with someone as young as this, seems very soon to me.

Its not surprised he thinks she is "mental" obviously he knows her better than anyone on here.

But those lines of communication with the Ex have to happen. If she is quite happy to be videoed snorting coke ( not just the drug use, but the short sightedness of whos hands the video got into ( eg SS, the police etc) I mean, does she have a problem with drugs? I think you need to know.

Hardly the perfect picture of a secure household for this little girl....? Surely?

i dont have any further advice aside from to say, that in many authorities there used to be Fathers groups, especially for "estranged" fathers, like play and craft time but with project workers and family support workers on hand to confide in and get advice from. You may want to google and see if there are any in your area.

His birthday was February