Concern about safety/ well being of my daughter - advice appreciated

pigpen

Exactly why my partner wont bath my girls.. though they wash themselves they need help with hair washing and I am unable to do it at the moment.. My xh is a hysterical to55er who would ring SS the second he caught wind.. yet my OH is absolutely fabulous with the children mostly.. I dont have any kind of issue with xhs GF bathing the children, I dont see the difference.. There are far too many people who want to see malice where there is none and cause upset and hurt where there is no need.. and it is so sad to think new partners feel they cannot be part of the childrens lives in many respects. My baby girl cant have a bath with her big sisters because OH wont go in the bathroom while they are in the bath, I feel she is missing out on shared bath times.. which are great fun.. all because my XH is a tw4t.

Just because one of her former bfs was a goon and ended up in prison doesnt mean they are all going to be like that.. OHs ex ran off with a smack head .. that doesnt mean I will!

If he was a grown up I would suggest taking him for a pint and getting to know him.. lol...

Spending money doesnt make you a good parent either.. being there and being supportive and loving your child no matter what is what makes you a good parent.

I can understand why you would have concerns.. you dont know this person, you are omitted from aspects of your daughters life you want to be included in.. I get that.. but causing trouble and seeing trouble where there is none is not beneficial for you or your ex or most importantly your little girl.

to err on the side of caution is not a bad thing but pumping a 4 year old for info .. which asking if he has touched her is doing.. is irresponsible.. just talk to her.. stuff like this comes out in normal comfortable conversations not direct questioning.

Sounds like she will have dumped him (or he her) in a few weeks so it might not be an issue for long..

neneromanova

Personally I wouldn't really be worried about the bath, more the fact that this 16 year old is left in charge when the Mother goes out to work (Yes I know it's cheap childcare) My sister is 18 and I wouldn't even trust just 1 of my daughters with her! Far too immature

Emmzi

well, perhaps if you stop reacting badly/ challenging every post, people can offer practical help. I know you are massively concerned and frustrated. People here usually do genuinely want to help, just put the ones winding you up on ignore and reasoned conversation is a couple of clicks away.

Let's start with what the custody order says; what family you have living where that can help.

And have you sought help from fathers for justice? They have what I believe are useful forums and experts.

ses6jwg

I should say at this point that I do not even know if my EX had given him permission to bath her this is something I'll have to find

moomoomama27

Just a suggestion, but as she's 4, presumably she would still be under the care of a health visitor? Maybe you could give the HV a call and voice your concerns, and see if you can get some advice that way. I know they don't normally have much to do with a family once a child passes the 'baby stage', but in my area you can call them for advice anytime up until school age.

Just_Plain_Jane

ses6jwg wrote: »

How dare you talk to me about responsibility you don't even know me!

I already applied for custody after the drugs issue, I ordered a drugs test however the bumbling courts took 5 months to issue it and by the time she had enough time to dye her hair so many times all traces of the drugs were gone.

I know all I need to about you, thank you very much. I can see why you have communication difficulties with the ex.

princessdreamer

ses6jwg wrote: »

I should say at this point that I do not even know if my EX had given him permission to bath her this is something I'll have to find

Please tell me this thread is a wind up. He bathed a child big deal GET OVER IT

balletshoes

moomoomama27 wrote: »

Just a suggestion, but as she's 4, presumably she would still be under the care of a health visitor? Maybe you could give the HV a call and voice your concerns, and see if you can get some advice that way. I know they don't normally have much to do with a family once a child passes the 'baby stage', but in my area you can call them for advice anytime up until school age.

advice on what aspect? I'm sorry but I just don't know what questions regarding this situation a health visitor would have any answers to?

ses6jwg

Just_Plain_Jane wrote: »

I know all I need to about you, thank you very much. I can see why you have communication difficulties with the ex.

Of course you do. A medal is on its way in the post.

Just_Plain_Jane

princessdreamer wrote: »

Please tell me this thread is a wind up. He bathed a child big deal GET OVER IT

If the child hadn't been bathed I expect he would've been screaming 'neglect'.