Concern about safety/ well being of my daughter - advice appreciated

sexymouse

I don't think that Emmzi had intended that comment to be taken in the way you took it - what she meant is that if you don't live near to your ex, that it would be less traumatic for your daughter to move in with you before she started at her first school, so that she wouldn't be uprooted from her first set of school friends. She was actually thinking of your daughter!

princessdreamer

Calling the mother a bit mental in the head is not nice and may explain why she will not speak to him. Yes her partner is very young. However that is her partner who is legal age to be in a full relationship and to look after a child. As for bathing her, I'm sure the lad did not think he was doing anything wrong (neither do I), the child could have done anything from having a toilet accident to just needing a bath from playing all day. The child was not distressed and is not likely to be distressed unless the OP makes a huge issue of it.
As for teenage males not wanting to be involved in bathing/caring for little ones, my teenager has always loved helping with my baby. He could change nappies, could bottle feed and bath his younger sibling. If a friend needed a babysitter he would think nothing of doing all three and TBH I would be upset if just because he was a male someone thought it was wrong.

Emmzi

ses6jwg wrote: »

Perhaps you should put yourself in my situation before you make sarcastic and unhelpful remarks.

This was not a sarcastic comment but a serious suggestion. If you believe you can give the child a better home, go for custody. They don't automatically grant to the mother if dad can give a better home. You sound like a caring dad so why wouldn't you?

heretolearn_2

"Just my 2p worth but seriously, why is it that people feel the need to bring up whether or not this 16yr old is inappropriately touching the child whilst having a bath?!

Seriously, you should be ashamed. There is nothing to say that this is the case. How would you feel if you were giving your neice/nephew/friends child a bath and someone accused you of it?!"

:eek:Exactly!

We all want to keep our kids safe but this is ridiculous - totally imagining and inventing a scenario that hasn't happened and getting all silly.

Repeat: there is nothing wrong or perverted about giving your partner's children* a bath.

*or relative's children, or friend's children.

anyway if someone were a perve, he wouldn't care if it were bathtime or not, it can happen any time. Are you going to ban her from having boyfriends at all? How about if you get a new partner who has a child. Would you think it's right that you were never trusted to do normal activities with that child in case you molest them?

neneromanova

ses6jwg wrote: »

Perhaps you should put yourself in my situation before you make sarcastic and unhelpful remarks.

I don't think Emmzi was being sarcastic. It's what I would have said. That way she would be away from Drugs and young boys.

ses6jwg

heretolearn wrote: »

:eek:Exactly!

We all want to keep our kids safe but this is ridiculous - totally imagining and inventing a scenario that hasn't happened and getting all silly.

Repeat: there is nothing wrong or perverted about giving your partner's children* a bath.

*or relative's children, or friend's children.

anyway if someone were a perve, he wouldn't care if it were bathtime or not, it can happen any time. Are you going to ban her from having boyfriends at all?

It would be appreciated if you could calm down and also not make personal remarks against me. I asked on here for advice.

I do not have a problem with her having a boyfriend. But I believe there are certain boundaries which should be respected.

I am a good Dad who has been there since day 1 and I am looking out for my daughers interests. Perhaps it would be better if I was a deadbeat Dad who hadn't spent £5000 going to court to get a contact order to see his little girl. Perhaps it would have been better if I never botheered to pay child maintanance every week without fail.

Please forgive me but having seen my ex partner in a video snorting cocaine from a table 4 feet from where my daughter sleeps and having seen one of her previous boyfriends recently go to PRISON for stamping on a boys head outside of a nightclub, I think I will err on the side of caution.

Thanks.

heretolearn_2

I'm calm, thanks. You are the one ringing the NSPCC because someone gave your child a bath.

If there are other issues, ok, but on this thread your issue is with any man bathing your child, and that's an overreaction by itself.

princessdreamer

ses6jwg wrote: »

It would be appreciated if you could calm down and also not make personal remarks against me. I asked on here for advice.

I do not have a problem with her having a boyfriend. But I believe there are certain boundaries which should be respected.

I am a good Dad who has been there since day 1. Perhaps it would be better if I was a deadbeat Dad who hadn't spent £5000 going to court to get a contact order to see his little girl. Perhaps it would have been better if I never botheered to pay child maintanance every week without fail.

Please forgive me but having seen my ex partner in a video snorting cocaine from a table 4 feet from where my daughter sleeps and having seen one of her previous boyfriends recently go to PRISON for stamping on a boys head outside of a nightclub, I think I will err on the side of caution.

Thanks.

Oh here goes money and access are different issues. Read your comments to my son who thinks you are being weird. You seem to dislike your ex and have even in your OP called her mad. Maybe you should chill out or you will end up like my ex whos children have had enough of his crap and no longer speak to him.

Just_Plain_Jane

ses6jwg wrote: »

It would be appreciated if you could calm down and also not make personal remarks against me. I asked on here for advice.

I do not have a problem with her having a boyfriend. But I believe there are certain boundaries which should be respected.

I am a good Dad who has been there since day 1 and I am looking out for my daughers interests. Perhaps it would be better if I was a deadbeat Dad who hadn't spent £5000 going to court to get a contact order to see his little girl. Perhaps it would have been better if I never botheered to pay child maintanance every week without fail.

Please forgive me but having seen my ex partner in a video snorting cocaine from a table 4 feet from where my daughter sleeps and having seen one of her previous boyfriends recently go to PRISON for stamping on a boys head outside of a nightclub, I think I will err on the side of caution.

Thanks.

What's the point worrying if you don't want to do anything about it? If you truly believe your daughter is in danger, go for custody as Emmzi suggested and was shot down in flames for.

You sound just like my ex, full of criticism, but when push comes to shove he won't take any responsibilty. It makes me sick.

ses6jwg

heretolearn wrote: »

I'm calm, thanks. You are the one ringing the NSPCC because someone gave your child a bath.

If there are other issues, ok, but on this thread your issue is with any man bathing your child, and that's an overreaction by itself.

The varied range of answers in this thread suggest that it is not.

You are entitled to your view and it is appreciated however I do not think it is necessarily an overreaction.