Male mid life crisis?

flufff

I dont think withdrawing doing his washing will help.Simply antagonise.The best thing Lisa can do for her n kids is make time for herself and continue her usual routine for kids sakes.
Beware of the man who buys new underwear!

flufff

Yes I can lie through my teeth too but not many of us can on the spot or if feeling guilty.Body language is a big giveaway.

skylight

I echo Magyar

please spend £40 and listen to Relate; no it's not cheap but what price can you put on your future?

It *may* be too late and he's already looking. He *may* just be using it as an excuse because he is depressed and to blame someone else is easier. He *may* still love you and the family entirely but needs hlep sorting out his feelings. Without spending the money, you will never know and comments like the ones he came out with are to complex to deal with on your own.

But most of all BIG HUGS! My OH would NEVER come out with something like that. He knows me too well and I would simply swing for him and chuck him out straight away. My feelings that I am at home with the kids giving up different parts of a life would well up too much in me to be able to deal with it in a rational manner as you have.

magyar

flufff wrote:

Yes I can lie through my teeth too but not many of us can on the spot or if feeling guilty.Body language is a big giveaway.

Only if you know what you're looking for. If you don't then you run the risk of misinterpreting things.

At the risk of repeating things, Lisa, please consider Relate even if it stretches the budget. They are very good (I'm a little biased here, my father is a counsellor), they will listen to all sides fairly and professionally.

Whilst all the comments on this site (mine included) are well-intentioned, this is your marriage we're talking about, not where to buy your soap powder from.

Let me put this another way, if you end up divorced, it will end up costing the pair of you hundreds if not thousands.

flufff

fingers crossed he will comply with speaking to a relate counsellor.

lottee

charlotte664 wrote:

My OH would NEVER come out with something like that. He knows me too well and I would simply swing for him and chuck him out straight away.

Yeh mine too, in one word I would go MENTAL! So even though its hard to hear, at least he has spoken to you Lisa. As above, best to speak to the professionals, they know the right questions to ask in order to find the right answers.

Rachie_B

lisa_75 wrote:

I have tried all this. The sex problems have been going on for several years. He is just not that interested. In fact, the more interested I get the worse it seems to make it. He has been having some problems, but the doctor says there is nothing they can give him to help.

I think in his mind, I am the problem and if he gets a new sexual partner his problem will go away.
I want this marriage, but I don't want to be with a man who would rather be shagging some busty 18 year old than his loving wife.

I have just rang Relate. It is £40 an hour and we just can't afford that right now. They have a sliding scale based on income, but we would have to pay top wack because of my husbands earnings.

At the moment, honestly if I had the money I would leave. I feel so humiiated and degraded and as if the man I married is a stranger to me, but I have the kids to think of.

At the moment I am going to grit my teeth and get on with it until I graduate and then see how I feel then.

and how are things between you out of the bedroom ?

do you "like" each other and get on well ? have a laugh together anymore ?

are you in love with him ? and he you ?

lisa_75

Rachie_B wrote:

and how are things between you out of the bedroom ?

do you "like" each other and get on well ? have a laugh together anymore ?

are you in love with him ? and he you ?

Oh yes, we have a really great relationship, have a lot of fun. It is just the sex issue that is the problem.

I love him very deeply. He says he loves me and I have no reason not to believe him.

lisa_75

flufff wrote:

fingers crossed he will comply with speaking to a relate counsellor.

I am sure he will. Not very MSE, but I will stick the cost on the credit card for now.

Rachie_B

lisa_75 wrote:

Oh yes, we have a really great relationship, have a lot of fun. It is just the sex issue that is the problem.

I love him very deeply. He says he loves me and I have no reason not to believe him.

thats something then !

are you IN love with each other though ?