Away for weekend - MIL blew all emergency money

balletshoes

[quote=[Deleted User];46309053]yes. this is true. but you expect family to be sensible and not take advantage.[/QUOTE]

but you already know, from past history, that your MIL is not like that. Sounds like she had a lovely time with your son and had a little holiday herself with your money .

If you're not happy with her behaviour/actions while you were away, just don't ask her to babysit while you're on holiday again. Simples.

Molly41

There are two separate issues.
First off - if you have issues with MIL why are you trusting her to care for your son? I dont think you can moan at her for doing you a favour. Some perspective is needed re the money.

The cat - the two are probably not linked and again if you have issues with her ability to care for the cat then you should have paid to put cat into cattery.

I feel you are being rather harsh with your MIL and you should be grateful that you have someone you "trust" to care for your child whilst you enjoy a child free break. I have just enjoyed my first child free break since 1991 as I have no family support to rely on.

[Deleted User]

melancholly wrote: »

every few months your MIL's behaviour comes up again. at this point, i'm going to harsh and say it's your fault. all the warning signs have been there repeatedly and yet you still continue to allow these situations to occur. there is a way to stop this but it's in your hands.

Not so much in my hands as in my wifes hands...

[Deleted User]

balletshoes wrote: »

but you already know, from past history, that your MIL is not like that. Sounds like she had a lovely time with your son and had a little holiday herself with your money .

If you're not happy with her behaviour/actions while you were away, just don't ask her to babysit while you're on holiday again. Simples.

Theres always that of course. But is it too much to ask for her to act reasonably and do us a favour?

Its like the argument when you go away with work and claim expenses. Most people are sensible, treat the money like their own and dont take the p**s!!!!

melancholly

[quote=[Deleted User];46310797]Not so much in my hands as in my wifes hands...[/QUOTE]
then speak to her about it and have a united front, or get your head into a space where you don't get so irritated by everything the woman does.

the_cat

[quote=[Deleted User];46310797]Not so much in my hands as in my wifes hands...[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry but that is rubbish!

No one forced you to go away and leave your son, cat, house and cash with someone who has proved herself untrustworthy

[Deleted User]

Molly41 wrote: »

There are two separate issues.
First off - if you have issues with MIL why are you trusting her to care for your son? I dont think you can moan at her for doing you a favour. Some perspective is needed re the money.

The cat - the two are probably not linked and again if you have issues with her ability to care for the cat then you should have paid to put cat into cattery.

I feel you are being rather harsh with your MIL and you should be grateful that you have someone you "trust" to care for your child whilst you enjoy a child free break. I have just enjoyed my first child free break since 1991 as I have no family support to rely on.

Molly,

You make a good point. She is doing us a favour ultimately and we do trust her. But its not all one way - wife is good to her so for me thats what families do - they look after each other.

Its just that sometimes she doesnt think of others. In this case, she failed to use her head and think of the cat, and spent the money without any thought. Like I said shes never paid for a taxi in her life so why start now with my money! Dont get me wrong if she missed the bus/train got stuck somewhere or whatever then I'd pay for taxi without a moments thought.

If the cat had cost me £200 then so be it. Its not a waste of money. What is annoying is someone frittering you're money away on needless things like taxis because they can !!!!

You shouldnt have to worry about your family taking advantage or being selfish or screwing you for money!!!! That's my big point.... Most people wont treat an employers money (i.e. expenses ) like that let alone a family member!!!!

Like I said in another post, she 'bothered' us by phoning us to tell us her mobile was playing up and the train was busy but she was having a bad day. But the cat wasnt important to her so she didnt tell us even.

I really dont understand still why she didnt ring us. Wife phoned her on Friday (apparently cat was ill then) but she didnt even mention it. I appreciate shes old but if she didnt know what to do then ask us. To be honest, if we'd known friday, we'd have phoned vet, phoned other family to help etc or even come home. Unfortunately, shes got a bit of a history of not being sensible in situations like this.

Amanda65

I think that not taking the cat was negligent, but maybe she genuinely didn't realise it was as ill as it was. And if it doesn't come indoors and isn't really your cat perhaps she didn't realise how important it was to you ? People without animals often can't understand how much a pet means to a family and perhaps, to her, a stray cat that was very old wasn't a priorty. Not an excuse but maybe an explanation.

euronorris wrote: »

I don't see why she couldn't have paid for the cat out of her own pocket either.

If I was in her position, with or without the money left by the OP, I would've taken the cat to the vet and got it sorted for 30 quid.

And not sure where you live, but I have never had a bill under about £75 from my vets !!!!


With regards to the emergency funds, I see from the previous post that your son is only 5 - maybe she didn't feel confident using public transport with him (no idea how old MIL is so could be way off the mark here) and thought that taxis were the safer option. Tbh if your son has had a lovely weekend going here, there and everywhere and you and your wife also had a lovely weekend away (and as previously mentioned you can afford it) I think you are being a bit petty about the money being spent.

ceebeeby

I'd be asking her outright - excuse me MIL, not wanting a row here, but can you please help me to understand why you spent nearly £100 on taxi's and eating out in a day, but didn't take cat to vet, and cat now dead.

I'd be saying, i don't understand about you not wanting to call, cos you called on X day about phone, and Y time about train. Why would you not tell us aobut her / him.

Or ... better still .... ask her has she heard of MSE and point her to this thread so she can guage public opinion!!! Sorry, but if she's incapable or inhuman enough to care about a cat's welfare then she's the last person I'd be leaving my precious child or children with.!

balletshoes

[quote=[Deleted User];46311255]

Unfortunately, shes got a bit of a history of not being sensible in situations like this.[/QUOTE]

I rest my case m'lud .