Away for weekend - MIL blew all emergency money

NAR

Let's put a wee bit of balance on this OP. I'm sure you and your OH spent a considerable amount on your weekend away.
If you had brought your son with you would the cost have been more than £100? Also you would have been restricted in what you were able to do as you would have had to care for your son.

mummyoftwomonkeys

I don't think it matters if she was told its just for emergencies or not tbh. My dad always leaves money if he goes away and I house sit but I never spend it on myself and actually last time he went away the dog was ill so I took her to the vets without even thinking about it. She must have some front to go spending it all like that. I think you need to have it out with her don't raise your voice but say we are very great full for having our son for the weekend but you are very upset that she was able to spend a large amount of cash on herself but failed to take the cat to the vet.I for one wouldn't take it that's for sure!

make_me_wise

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Ask your son if she drank alot.

Can kind of see where you are coming from here. The way gran handled the cats ill health sounds like she was more than a tad non compos mentis.

Asking a child to report whether its nan was drinking heavily or not is maybe not a great idea. I would hope that if she did drink it wouldn't be in front of your son OP and that she had sobered up enough before he woke. Making him aware that gran may have a problem could worry him though.

Nimeth

OP, I think you and your OH need to sit her mother down and explain to her, calmly, that you are both very unhappy about this, particularly with regard to the cat and why. This is less about getting her back up and more about making sure there's not a repeat performance iyswim.

I suspect that the change in attitude stems from the fact that she may have been thinking "well no one is here to tell me off or watch me and they did leave it for me so I should spend it on what I want".

PolishBigSpender

If someone left in charge didn';t take my pet to the vet, and the pet died, I would never speak to that person again. What a cruel b****!

[Deleted User]

NAR wrote: »

Let's put a wee bit of balance on this OP. I'm sure you and your OH spent a considerable amount on your weekend away.
If you had brought your son with you would the cost have been more than £100? Also you would have been restricted in what you were able to do as you would have had to care for your son.

yes. this is true. but you expect family to be sensible and not take advantage.

[Deleted User]

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

If someone left in charge didn';t take my pet to the vet, and the pet died, I would never speak to that person again. What a cruel b****!

Not that it matters but the cat in question wasnt really 'ours'. Hes a stray cat who we sort of adopted. He rarely came into the house but we fed him etc. Sometimes we didnt see him for weeks but he was still sort of ours. But we would have taken him to vet.

To be honest, he was very old. Being an outdoor cat he used to look really rough sometimes so we often wondered how long he had left. Not the point though because vet would have been the first call but I think he might have been on his last legs anway....

Wife is still really upset because she didnt do her best for the poor thing.... Even if he had gone anyway......

[Deleted User]

Nimeth wrote: »

OP, I think you and your OH need to sit her mother down and explain to her, calmly, that you are both very unhappy about this, particularly with regard to the cat and why. This is less about getting her back up and more about making sure there's not a repeat performance iyswim.

I suspect that the change in attitude stems from the fact that she may have been thinking "well no one is here to tell me off or watch me and they did leave it for me so I should spend it on what I want".

I fear sometimes she thinks well I am babysitting they should pay me.

Also, shes more generous and will rarely screw wife for money. But if its me she will take and take. Its as if she thinks its ok to do that.

Its all both our money though but she doesnt seem to look at it this way!

[Deleted User]

mummyoftwomonkeys wrote: »

I don't think it matters if she was told its just for emergencies or not tbh. My dad always leaves money if he goes away and I house sit but I never spend it on myself and actually last time he went away the dog was ill so I took her to the vets without even thinking about it. She must have some front to go spending it all like that. I think you need to have it out with her don't raise your voice but say we are very great full for having our son for the weekend but you are very upset that she was able to spend a large amount of cash on herself but failed to take the cat to the vet.I for one wouldn't take it that's for sure!

Its difficukt for me since its not my mother. However this time shes managed to uoset wife greatly. Normally wife doesnt see what she does.

melancholly

every few months your MIL's behaviour comes up again. at this point, i'm going to harsh and say it's your fault. all the warning signs have been there repeatedly and yet you still continue to allow these situations to occur. there is a way to stop this but it's in your hands.