Away for weekend - MIL blew all emergency money

[Deleted User]

Was away for weekend for wife. MIL came to stay to look after son which was nice of her.

Left her money to pay for food, taking son out etc and also a large amount for emergencies.

Came home she'd blown the lot. A considerable amount of money. Apparently, she's been catching taxis etc around the place (didnt want to catch train it was too busy!) , eating out. However, to be honest, I still couldn't see where it all went but I'll have to give her the benefit of the doubt...

Best thing is the cat was ill at the weekend. Unfortunately, the poor thing passed away yesterday (he didnt come home until yesterday). MIL didnt take it to vets because she said she didnt think we'd be happy to pay for it and she didnt want to tell us on the phone because it would spoil our weekend (cats week is well and truly spoilt though!).

Personally I think its more of couldnt be bothered. Best thing is wifes brother lives 5 miles away, she told him and he never offered to take it to vets.

Also, I'd have been happy to pay for taxi to take her and cat to vets...

Wife is really annoyed with her mother mainly about the cat, but I'm annoyed about the money too. I've no objection paying for whatever she wants / son wants when I'm away but I think shes taken advantage a little here...

Any comments on this?

Any

Yes, she might have taken advantage.

Either the boundaries of what "emergency" is weren't properly set, or (and from the vet story seems to be the issue here) she is selfish little cow.

Only you know all the ins and outs and can judge. Did you tell her it is for "emergencies"?? Such as "going to hospital, vets or call plumber"?

Or did you just give her money and said "this is to cover your needs and a bit extra, you know just in case"?

Lesson learned for future I think.

*max*

Did you make it clear to her that it was emergency money, and what she could use it for? How much was it? I'm just curious now!

I'm very sorry to hear about your cat.

halibut2209

What does your OH think?

[Deleted User]

halibut2209 wrote: »

What does your OH think?

OH more bothered that MIL didnt take cats to vet to be honest rather than money....

And she says, oh well, she was babysitting for free anyway...

For me, its not the fact that she spent the money. If it was needed then spend it, I can afford it. Its the fact that she frittered it away for no reason...

[Deleted User]

I think maybe I was unclear as to what the money was for. But then again, I didnt think I needed to tell her not to waste the money. Its obvious that you dont take the p**s.

I was quite happy for her to buy whatever she needed for herself and son, but shes treated it as its my money and she might as well spend it all. For instance, shes never paid for a taxi in her life, so why start now because its my money? (BTW, we live 50 yards from a train station)

halibut2209

I don't think it's worth persuing with the MIL as it's happened now and would only stir up bad feelings for the future. But I would have a calm talk with OH explaining why you're unhappy

Nimeth

What was it that the cat died of? I only ask because it could have been painful and that's just cruel on the cat all for the sake of £30. I'd be more than annoyed too if it was my cat! Spending that money on herself instead of a sick cat that can't help itself is pretty selfish imo.

I agree with Any and max, was she told this was emergency money?

Lotus-eater

How much is a "large amount for emergencies"?

Olokia

Not defending her because I'd have been more than annoyed about the cat but:

She may have thought it was payment for looking after your son and couldn't she have rung you about the cat?

make_me_wise

[quote=[Deleted User];discussion/3440101]Wife is really annoyed with her mother mainly about the cat, but I'm annoyed about the money too. I've no objection paying for whatever she wants / son wants when I'm away but I think shes taken advantage a little here...

Any comments on this?[/QUOTE]

Probably going to state the obvious here but next time only leave what you are happy for her to spend. Any emergencies she can phone you and you can contact insurance companies etc. Surely this woman has a bank account and could have paid out on a card if another tricky emergency came up and you could have settled with her later. She does sound like a taker.

Next time maybe take your child with you and if you want some time to go out and about just as a couple then use this fab baby sitting service www.sitters.co.uk My friends and family swear by them and have used them when away as well as at home. They do hotel babysitting