My son is 4 weeks off being 18 and he says

victory

Agreed but mine is more to do with his attitude toward the house, chores, us, his brother, having to work for living ,the things he says rather than trying to treat him like a child, he constantly goes on how he will soon be man, acting all victor mature with no clue as to what that entails, keeping him a child is not my thing:D

dark_lady

victory wrote: »

Agreed but mine is more to do with his attitude toward the house, chores, us, his brother, having to work for living ,the things he says rather than trying to treat him like a child, he constantly goes on how he will soon be man, acting all victor mature with no clue as to what that entails, keeping him a child is not my thing:D

Oh yes i agree. Yours is a different situation because he seems unwilling to contribute jobwise or houseworkwise. In my case i was contributing and behaving like an adult so i expected to be treated as such.

webitha

Mojisola wrote: »

Ever since ours have been doing chores, it's been quite clear that "no moaning" was part of the deal. If he moans, I would give him extra jobs until he learns to do the basics without whining about it!

i wish i could thank you a thousand times for this

i have implimented this in my house and after just 2 days they suddenly worked out not to whine and just get on with it

bliss

1sttimer_2

Good grief Victory - you seem to have your hands full!
I'm so glad I had girls - they do bring their own problems but not like these (fortunately for me!)

My eldest was the absolute opposite of your son. She was out working as a papergirl at 13, as soon as she was able to work Saturday's she did, and some Sunday's too (as well as her paper round! She did her jobs round the house no problem (well there was a problem - her sister didn't like to do hers, so the moan was why I didn't get on to her sister to do her share) and her room was the tidiest in the house :eek:

She went to work at one of these camps in USA when she was 18 and had left school and did this for 2 years whilst she was at uni. She also worked each summer holiday when not at camp and had a job in her uni town whilst there, transferring to home town when she was back at home. All this she did whilst doing a full time education (not part time as some courses do!) When she finally left uni, she couldn't get a job but wanted to stay at uni town, so she found a flat, got a job and kept on at it till she was able to find a job

She's now 29 and holds down an excellent job, has a lovely home, new car every 2 years and the only debt she has is her uni one.

I'm not boasting here (well I am a little:o) but that was only one of my daughters!

The youngest one was more like your son, only not quite as bad - but did like to know that we were always around to lean on to with help as and when she needed it (often!) and did as little as she could get by with. Now she's 26 she's learned to stand on her own feet so there is hope for you!

Time will pass before you know it (although it seems to go so slowly through the worse times) and you will look back on this behaviour and laugh about it!

RAS

victory wrote: »

cerid a)all his studies he does in school sorry 6th form time, he stays behind on a tuesday for his p.e, during breaks and lunches he uses their comps and his gf help and get his work done that way so when he comes home he has absolutely nothing to do with 6th form work.

What course is he on? BTEC or A levels?

Is he doing his assessment and course work or is GF doing them for him?

I think you need to talk to his tutors about the limited amount of school work he is doing. It may be enough to stop him getting kicked out but not enough to get grade that will see him able to use it to get work or go onto further study.

Speak from experience on this one.

victory

His gf does al ot of his work yes:D Gcse/BTEC yes.
Spoken to all his tutors/teachers etc don't take his word for anything;) yes he has after school weekend p.e coaching work to do but he conned his teachers to doing it in school time and during the first week of half term so he has done the minimum he required.

He does often stay behind for an hour or so.

Oh we know he is a sailor or a glider we call him, he just manages to glide through, not too much effort, not too much extra, just manages to pass, he has been blessed with a relative amount of intelligence which he abuses to 'just get by' and he has not failed one yet, he is a cruiser.

lurvlyloz

globalds wrote: »

You should have been putting things in place to solve his behaviour years ago.

all them smilies tell me one thing.

That you haven't taken this raising children thing seriously.

harsh. so if parents smile on a forum they havent takng parenting serious. how miserable

sashadesade

Well ultimately he's only hurting himself by sponging and getting other people to do things for him. Sooner or later his gf and mates will get sick of him, and since he hasn't actually done the work to earn his grades he'll struggle in further education or getting a job. He's in for a bit of a shock when he has to live in the real world.

victory

Have you seen young dumb and living off mum tv show? OMG it is not as bad as that by far but it is bad :eek:

victory

He gets his results today at lunch time