My son is 4 weeks off being 18 and he says

victory

HI, my son is 4 weeks off being 18 and we are at constant battle with what he thinks is going to happen when he turns the magic number:D He walks around the house constantly saying when I am 18 I am not going to be told what to do, when to come home, when I can drink, I will do as I please.

The lazy imp has no job, sure he has applied for many, he is madly in love with his girlfriend (who has a job 3 days a week) he practically lives there now and comes home here and there to basically moan about how I have deprived him because I wil not pay £300 for the hire of the hall for his birthday bash, cannot afford it even though he goes on and on 'everyone else is getting a party' everyone else is getting a car, everyone else is getting money and a holiday, oh these fantastically rich parents out there:rotfl::rotfl: how he can't work weekends because he has to go to football or nights because he will get tired, they are both still at school, he is aiming to be a football coach and the girlfriend a psychologist in child care.

He is handsome, intelligent, but so naive and demanding as well as selfish.



He feels we should 'fund' his football practice, his booze for all the parties he goes to, we should just be here and cook and clean for him and in return get nothing but moaning and how he will be 'a free man next month'

I would like to smack him one:rotfl: only joking child protection police but I would like to shake him, I keep telling him that under my roof the rules are mine and you will do as you are asked, he says no.

He is selfish, narrow minded, he is blinkered as a teenager to everyone else around him apart from his girlfriend and in some cases is difficult to like but without question he knows he is adored.

He has a safe, happy, secure, loving home and family and seems to keep rebelling against it and causing rows about his age and how he will be a man.

He needs to get over himself and see the bigger picture and appreciate what he has, he seems unable to do so, he constantly goes on how everyone else has and he hasn't, how they have a better life, more money, he can't wait to leave home, then he would fall flat on his face:rotfl:

Anyone know how to 'clip his wings' bring him down to earth, make him realise he has a good lifestyle and is bemoaning nothing.

gillypkk

if he wants to act the big man let him!

sit him down with all the bills and draw up a tennancy agreement with him where he pays his fair share of the bills. anyone under 18 in the house isnt counted as they are a minor but him now that he is an adult will pay for the priviledge. if there is just you and him in the house over 18 then split the rent/mortgage 50/50 same with council tax and gas and electricity and tv license and phone and internet.

he will soon want to be mummys boy again!

but stick to it thought! if he thinks you are just doing this to prove a point to him then it wont work. tell him if he doesnt pay he cant live there and will run up arrears.

Lotus-eater

I'd be very tempted to smack him one child protection police or not.

Then tell him he can be a "free man" when he can afford it. Which isn't now.

abby1234519

Stop doing everything for him! And when he gets a job, you want 1/3 of his take home pay for upkeep.

That'll make him realise fast how good he has it by just having somewhere to live.

balletshoes

victory wrote: »

HI, my son is 4 weeks off being 18 and we are at constant battle with what he thinks is going to happen when he turns the magic number:D
He walks around the house constantly saying when I am 18 I am not going to be told what to do, when to come home, when I can drink, I will do as I please.

why, is he moving out when he hits 18 :rotfl::rotfl:????

I'd be laughing in his face at his attitude - and then telling him if he wants to carry on living in your house, he has to carry on living by your rules .

Tigsteroonie

I agree with gillypkk If he wants to come and go as he wants, drink when he wants, do what he wants - then he becomes a lodger rather than a child, and must contribute accordingly. He pays rent; you don't clean his room, you don't do his washing, you don't feed him.

Memory_Girl

Just to make you smile ................... what my Mum did with little brother when he came out with the same.

Every time he was around she started talking about the plans she had for his room - how when he was 18 and no longer "dependant" on her she was going to turn it into her much desired craft room. She had a whole colour scheme worked out - a friend came around at 8am one Saturday morning to measure up for building in units (turfing him out of bed in the process) - she started researching new knitting machines and leaving the brochures hanging around. She also started circling "flat-shares" in the paper and thoughtfully provided the number of a local hostel ( he had no job BTW)

Then she did the classic - she got his Girlfriend on side and got her to ask him when they were out one night "where should we send your birthday cards too? I hear you are moving out - I hope its not to that hostel? - don't think I want to visit you there - to scary!!! Have you heard the stuff that goes on there?"

Cue complete panic in little brothers eyes - and huge apologies all round.

BTW didn't do him too much harm - he wised up, went to Uni, bought and renovated a decent house and married the girlfriend (although she did admit what she and Mum had cooked up at the Engagement do).

Still he has grown up realising there can be no "rights" without "responsibilities" - mind you he also grew up to be a Chartered Accountant, but I don't hold that against him really :rotfl::rotfl:

MG

January20

I think you need to show him some tough love. Start by saying that when he is 18 he will be a free man but you will be a free woman because as he will be an adult he will not be your responsibility anymore and if he doesn't buck up his ideas he will be out, and no-one can stop you doing that. And as he will be an adult, you can start charging him rent/ board etc. He needs to take more responsibility.

When my dd turned 18, it cost me nothing more than a cake and her present. She organised the rest all by herself. They don't need to have a hall hired unless they have a lot of under age friends and I wouldn't want to be responsible for hiring a hall where some under 18s might want to bring and drink alcohol! Anyway, as he will be an adult he can start showing some responsibility by organising and paying for it himself!

Viper_7

You have done your job. He will no longer be a child.
Either kick him out or treat him as a lodger and lay down the charges and stick to them.
If he can't pay turf him out.

You don't say if you have any other children, but you have done your part and now you should be enjoying your life, not putting up with his selfish attitude.

pigpen

LMAO... mine is nearly 20 and finally admited a few weeks ago he is neither grown up nor responsible!

Whenever he says he is going to go drinking/clubbing/partying/smoking etc reply.. you better get a job then to fund it! And dont forget Ill be wanting 1/3rd of your wages as board so dont spend it all before paying me. and youll be doing your own washing/cooking/cleaning etc..

Dont be drawn into an argument about it.. just state it as it is..

If he doesnt like it.. he can move out They soon realise what they have lost then!

victory

Thanks:D he has practically moved in with his girlfriend two streets away already but he says that when he is 18 he is off permanently and will never be seen again oh the joy:rotfl::rotfl:

He has no job, income to contribute to household, he is expected to cut the grass, do household chores we cal lthem the 'sunday jobs' hoovering etc but oh does he moan about that, can you not hear him from here?:rotfl::rotfl: He does nothing with good grace.

My OH says when he is 18 he will have to pay tax and NI which we keep telling him and will have to pay us when he gets a job, he cannot see he is reliant on us and we feed clothe etc him ,he says that we as parents have to:D