My son is 4 weeks off being 18 and he says

j.e.j.

This surely is an age-old scenario :rotfl:

Teen: I'm 18 I can do what i want..
Mum: Not in my house you can't!!

From what you've posted, victory, he sounds like a good kid. Teens can be blinkered, and can't see things from their parents point of view. It's all peer-pressure at that age, hence the "so-and-so is having a party, why can't I??" attitude.

victory

Yes, he is a good kid, bright and funny, everyone that meets him says he is polite, friendly and a credit to me but he is sending us all crazy with this I am 18, speak to me when I ask you to attitude:rotfl:

He knows there is no backing down on the party, I did contemplate having it here but he has said at least 70 would come!!! No way, there is no way I can afford £300 for a party hire the hall, get the food, get the banners etc it all adds up, I am sure he has watched too much tele and wants one ofthose american sweet 16 parties but for 18 year olds with stretch limo, dizzy rascal singing to him privately lol

make_me_wise

victory wrote: »

He is selfish, narrow minded, he is blinkered as a teenager to everyone else around him apart from his girlfriend and in some cases is difficult to like but without question he knows he is adored.

He has a safe, happy, secure, loving home and family and seems to keep rebelling against it and causing rows about his age and how he will be a man.

It takes more than turning 18 to become a man. As I am sure you are well aware OP your son comes across from your description as a spoilt brat. This is I am sure despite the fact that you have raised him really well and tried to instill morals and a sense of self responsibility into him.

He seems to have no concept about the value of money. He expects all the things he wants to drop into his lap without any effort from himself.

At the moment he has no incentive to change things though does he. He comes back when it suits him to a lovely, secure, safe home and family. Despite how he is behaving towards you all I bet he gets all his meals cooked for him, his washing and ironing done etc. This big kid needs a huge reality check.

If I were you for his 18th I would get a locksmith in and change all your locks. Keep the old ones, wrap them up and give them to him with a big bow tied round them. Tell him to get out there in the big, wide world and see how it reacts to a young man with a huge chip on his shoulder.

Give it a few days and he will have the mother of all shocks about just how much it takes to make a success of yourself and afford all that you do for him and give to him. He has it so unbelievably easy at the moment. I feel for you. My brother treated my mum similarly and only years later does he now look back at it all and regret it.

puddy

ok, im still not sure if he actually does his allocated chores (even if he is moaning at the time) or not?

if he does, then fair enough, he is contributing to the family routines and welbing

he expects you to give him child benefit and ctc but do you or not?

i thought cben or ctc was payable up to 19 if in full time education? but my information might be out of date

who washes his clothes? does he just not cook out of choice or does he not know how to cook?

to be honest, from what you say he clearly understands about doing work for money (as in money he gets from his g/f parents) he is simply taking the pee

and honestly i fail to see the funny side

Blackpool_Saver

My son is exactly the same, all the rights but wants no responsibilities.

victory

make_me_wise wrote: »

It takes more than turning 18 to become a man. As I am sure you are well aware OP your son comes across from your description as a spoilt brat. This is I am sure despite the fact that you have raised him really well and tried to instill morals and a sense of self responsibility into him.

He seems to have no concept about the value of money. He expects all the things he wants to drop into his lap without any effort from himself.

At the moment he has no incentive to change things though does he. He comes back when it suits him to a lovely, secure, safe home and family. Despite how he is behaving towards you all I bet he gets all his meals cooked for him, his washing and ironing done etc. This big kid needs a huge reality check.

If I were you for his 18th I would get a locksmith in and change all your locks. Keep the old ones, wrap them up and give them to him with a big bow tied round them. Tell him to get out there in the big, wide world and see how it reacts to a young man with a huge chip on his shoulder.

Give it a few days and he will have the mother of all shocks about just how much it takes to make a success of yourself and afford all that you do for him and give to him. He has it so unbelievably easy at the moment. I feel for you. My brother treated my mum similarly and only years later does he now look back at it all and regret it.

He is a spoilt privledged he cannot see it spoilt brat, I have often told him I am taking him to a shelter and then he can see what hardship really is like.

I cook his meals when he comes back but do not do his washing or ironing he does that himself, he says he is the best ironer on the planet:D He is very paticular about his clothes and hangs them on the line, treats them like a new born baby:rotfl:keeps checking them for marks, spends ages ironing, showering, shaving, having his hair cut by his dad just so, it is all aobut the look.

victory

........................................................

Errata

victory wrote: »

Fully agree, my OH goes on and on at him that by the time he was 14 he had 3 after school jobs and son says all the time 'that was 30 years ago':rotfl:

Yes, we give him money not for pleasure spend but his football yes, pocket money no, he had a load of xbox games he sold to fund himself at one stage, then swapped this for that and got some money just little here and there but he makes do by doing things for his mates and he gets 'paid' in a football ticket, he can be very resourceful or maybe he just has gullible friends?:D

Good heavens, the boy is an entrepreneur ! Encourage him ! To do ............I have no idea

Bennifred

victory wrote: »

He is a spoilt privledged he cannot see it spoilt brat, I have often told him I am taking him to a shelter and then he can see what hardship really is like.

I cook his meals when he comes back but do not do his washing or ironing he does that himself, he says he is the best ironer on the planet:D He is very paticular about his clothes and hangs them on the line, treats them like a new born baby:rotfl:keeps checking them for marks, spends ages ironing, showering, shaving, having his hair cut by his dad just so, it is all aobut the look.

Who buys the clothes?

Sorry, victory, but I think you've made a rod for your own back.

j.e.j.

victory wrote: »

Yes, he is a good kid, bright and funny, everyone that meets him says he is polite, friendly and a credit to me but he is sending us all crazy with this I am 18, speak to me when I ask you to attitude:rotfl:

He knows there is no backing down on the party, I did contemplate having it here but he has said at least 70 would come!!! No way, there is no way I can afford £300 for a party hire the hall, get the food, get the banners etc it all adds up, I am sure he has watched too much tele and wants one ofthose american sweet 16 parties but for 18 year olds with stretch limo, dizzy rascal singing to him privately lol

yes, I think telly has a lot to answer for!

oh, no, don't have a party at your house.. I'd be terrified of someone putting it on MySpace or something and about 500 of them turning up
:eek::rotfl: