My son is 4 weeks off being 18 and he says

victory

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: he has so got the wrong idea of what it is going to be like when he gets to 18, we keep on at him about council tax, the mortgage, the gas bill has gone up, it is not just rent and that is it, the phone bill needs paying , he would have to sign up to virgin or sky to get all the football matches he watches that I pay for:rotfl:

Owain_Moneysaver

Get one of your friends to phone the house when you're out and he'll answer, and say "I'm calling about the room you have to rent"

Errata

Viktory - I think you're a saint. If he was my son I'd smack his backside so hard he wouldn't be able to sit down for a week, 18 or no 18!
Could I suggest you celebrate his birthday by buying yourself new locks for the front and back door?

puddy

do you still get child benefit or ctc for him as he is in education?

is he due to leave school soon?

what jobs is he allocated to do and what does he actually do (even with moaning)

has he ever had a saturday job or part time job?

where does he get his money from if he has no job, do you give him money?

does he do his own cooking?

i would draw up reasonable contracts for him once he gets to 18, if he plans to stay in the home. this should include doing things which will mean that if he doesnt do them, he suffers too, ie he has to do the shopping to get a meal one evening for the family and cook it, if he doesnt then he goes without as well. who pays for his phone etc? does he watch sky or cable? who pays for that?.

if he thinks he is moving out, then you get his key off him or change the locks if he wont give it. then when he visits its as a guest. its slightly cold but he needs a reality check and for his expectations of life to be put in perspective or he will get a rude shock when renting his own place and within the world of work.

i do sort of agree with someone above who said that this training should have been put in many years ago, money or priviledges should always be dependent on chores and jobs around the house. part time work and saturday jobs shold be a priority during teen years to get them into the mindset of working and engaging with an employer

victory

Owain_Moneysaver wrote: »

Get one of your friends to phone the house when you're out and he'll answer, and say "I'm calling about the room you have to rent"

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

victory

Errata wrote: »

Viktory - I think you're a saint. If he was my son I'd smack his backside so hard he wouldn't be able to sit down for a week, 18 or no 18!
Could I suggest you celebrate his birthday by buying yourself new locks for the front and back door?

And the back door he has been known not to take his key and got in around the back:rotfl::rotfl:

Bennifred

Victory - I sincerely hope that you are not giving him ANY money at all?! None of mine (three boys) were given any after the age of 16 - if they want money they get a job, even if only a paper round.

It needs pointing out to him - with rights come responsibilities. No responsibilities? No rights!

victory

puddy wrote: »

do you still get child benefit or ctc for him as he is in education?

is he due to leave school soon?

what jobs is he allocated to do and what does he actually do (even with moaning)

has he ever had a saturday job or part time job?

where does he get his money from if he has no job, do you give him money?

does he do his own cooking?

i would draw up reasonable contracts for him once he gets to 18, if he plans to stay in the home. this should include doing things which will mean that if he doesnt do them, he suffers too, ie he has to do the shopping to get a meal one evening for the family and cook it, if he doesnt then he goes without as well. who pays for his phone etc? does he watch sky or cable? who pays for that?.

if he thinks he is moving out, then you get his key off him or change the locks if he wont give it. then when he visits its as a guest. its slightly cold but he needs a reality check and for his expectations of life to be put in perspective or he will get a rude shock when renting his own place and within the world of work.

i do sort of agree with someone above who said that this training should have been put in many years ago, money or priviledges should always be dependent on chores and jobs around the house. part time work and saturday jobs shold be a priority during teen years to get them into the mindset of working and engaging with an employer

yes we do and he expects us to give it to him, it has been cut because of him being shy of 18.

No he has another year, oldest in his class.

He has hoovering, dusting cleaning windows and cut the grass, he moans about the all, his bedroom is a no go for me and he does that, he is expected to do the usual, use a cup take it to the kitchen, put his clothes in the washing machine, swithc it on, dishwasher fill up, all the general running of a house, no he does not cook at all, ever.

We give him money for things like his football training which is £6 on a wednesday and he sort of asks and takes the beer from the fridge that his dad buys for himself, we buy the deals 3 for £20 and a few he will have, his dad says that is o.k., we do not expect him to live without a single penny.

He gets money as in favour for favour, his mate will do this for him or he will do that and his mate buys him his football tickets, his gf parents give him the odd money for his labour at their house and him and his gf get paid to babysit her little cousins, sometimes his gf pays if they go out for all you can eat buffet or the mother will chip in as a thank yo ufor work on the house.

He accidently washed his mobile a few weeks ago and it has not been replaced, there is no way I would buy him another one so he uses his gf which is paid for by her mum, unlimited internet etc.

Virgin media I have and I pay, I watch it as much as he does.

victory

Bennifred wrote: »

Victory - I sincerely hope that you are not giving him ANY money at all?! None of mine (three boys) were given any after the age of 16 - if they want money they get a job, even if only a paper round.

It needs pointing out to him - with rights come responsibilities. No responsibilities? No rights!

Fully agree, my OH goes on and on at him that by the time he was 14 he had 3 after school jobs and son says all the time 'that was 30 years ago':rotfl:

Yes, we give him money not for pleasure spend but his football yes, pocket money no, he had a load of xbox games he sold to fund himself at one stage, then swapped this for that and got some money just little here and there but he makes do by doing things for his mates and he gets 'paid' in a football ticket, he can be very resourceful or maybe he just has gullible friends?:D

victory

His mobile was pay as you go and he never had the money for the credit so got all his mates to ring him, see resourceful:D I don't pay for any monthly outgoings as he has none.

We have often not got his fav meals, foods, snacks in and refused to cook for him so he will learn stop being so lazy and do it himself, often we eat he comes home and there is nothing left, he goes around hunting, opening ovens and cupboards and finds nothing, if that is the case he will make himself cheese on toast:D