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My son is 4 weeks off being 18 and he says
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yes, I think telly has a lot to answer for!
oh, no, don't have a party at your house.. I'd be terrified of someone putting it on MySpace or something and about 500 of them turning up
:eek::rotfl:
There is no way with facebook would I every want to have a party in the house:eek:0 -
He has hoovering, dusting cleaning windows and cut the grass, he moans about the all, his bedroom is a no go for me and he does that, he is expected to do the usual, use a cup take it to the kitchen, put his clothes in the washing machine, swithc it on, dishwasher fill up, all the general running of a house, no he does not cook at all, ever.
Ever since ours have been doing chores, it's been quite clear that "no moaning" was part of the deal. If he moans, I would give him extra jobs until he learns to do the basics without whining about it!0 -
Blue_Elephant wrote: »Hmm. "Make the most of being a teenager while you still know everything" - Best piece of advice I ever got, though I didn't understand it at the time.
It seems the Gfs family is a good thing - it's instilling hard work and rewards thereof no matter how much he whinges, see past the whinging and you'll see that he keeps going back for more - if he hated the hard work so much, he wouldn't bother.
Is he at college? Is it summer holidays? What are his plans? Is he on JSA? Whatever his income take a 3rd, even if you don't need it, stick it in a savings account for when he's grown up :P
Tell him that as an adult he has responsibilities as well as rights. Stop paying for sky/broadband if you don't use it yourself, stop cleaning his room. I won't say stop cooking for him, because the idea is to make him realise how much you do that's just for him, not to alienate him.
As for the rest of it, he's testing the boundaries, just like smaller kids do. You obviously love him, make sure he continues to know it, but also that he ain't too old for the proverbial naughty step
Is he serious about the football coach thing? Is this realistic or a pipe dream? tell him that even if it works out he'll need a back up plan for when he gets too old.
oh, and he'll grow out of it x
He knows I love him as I tell him most days and he just smiles, he is very aware he has a loving family.
He has another year to go, he already has one football coach certificate and we are waiting for his results next week for his exams. Told and told him that the coaching is an idea for now as he loves all sports, he is running a half marathon for help the heroes, he plays football, rugby, he went to a sports school and loved it.0 -
Ever since ours have been doing chores, it's been quite clear that "no moaning" was part of the deal. If he moans, I would give him extra jobs until he learns to do the basics without whining about it!
God yes, do you live here?:rotfl: I ask him to do x and y, he moans, ok I will add this to it, he moans some more, ok shut up or I will add this also, he moans, then he says I can't believe how many jobs I have got to do, all you keep doing is adding more jobs' do they never learn?:rotfl: He ends up practically wrecking the house in the angry mode of cleaning and doing the chores:rotfl:0 -
Who buys the clothes?
Sorry, victory, but I think you've made a rod for your own back.
He gets birthday money or xmas money from relatives his gf , friends etc and he spends them on clothes, the little he gets from his gf parents to help with the house decoration he spends on clothes or bits and pieces, normal every day clothes like his school stuff and socks, pants etc we do but from primark, burton ,tkmax etc not designer like 'all my mates':D0 -
So - have I got this right?
He is 17, 18 next month and still at school/college (so you still get CB/CTC for him?)
He has chores to do, moans,messes about but does them eventually.
He does jobs/favours for GFs parents and mates - in return he gets money/payment in kind.
He spends most of his time at his GFs
He thinks his world will change on his 18th.
You are rubbish parents because 'everyone elses parents' throw big 18th parties etc etc
Sounds perfectly normal to me.
Stick to your guns about what you expect of him if he continues to live with your family, pointing out that at 18, he has an alternative. Good Luck.0 -
Well OP I remember telling Junior at about the same age as your son, that when he tunred 18 he would be considered an adult so if me and his dad droppped down dead, he would be following us shortly afterwards as he was incapable of looking after himself.
He has got better - he's not perfect but he's not given me any trouble school wise and never been in trouble with the police, and given the troubles this week that has to count for something.
I did get a little stressed eric with him this week - and I quite calmly told him the way things were going to be. I'm obviously alot more scarey when I don't shout as I when I came home the next day and not only had he done all the ironing, he'd put another load of washing in and put the hoover over.
If he wants designer pants why not give him the money that you'd spend on primark ones and then he can make up the difference? I usually find that the only way to teach Junior the value of money is to make him aware of how much costs is to get him to hand over the cash - experience has taught me that he usually decides that the cheaper option is the better option!2014 Target;
To overpay CC by £1,000.
Overpayment to date : £310
2nd Purse Challenge:
£15.88 saved to date0 -
when he turns 18, he pays £500 a month rent or leaves, on his birthday!
....and he crashes back to earth with a bump!Target Savings by end 2009: 20,000
current savings: 20,500 (target hit yippee!)
Debts: 8000 (student loan so doesnt count)
new target savings by Feb 2010: 30,0000 -
esmy yes correct:D
mountain The last time he was given money for clothes (school ones) he went to Primark for them and the difference he spent on a top he wanted from burtons:D
dave When we mention rent he mumbles something about 'you have to keep me' I THINK NOT:D0 -
he is aiming to be a football coach
As a qualified football coach i can give him some tips there.
Step One - Get the FA level 1 course, if you aren't coaching at a Junior Club that will cost you £120, but only take you a week.
Step Two - Get the FA level 2 badge. This will take you a minimum of six months and cost you about £250, you'll have to find someone willing to let you coach their team as you have to have logged hours.
Step Three - Do the FA Youth Modules, there are three of these they will take two weekends each and cost you £150 each, most county FA's run one a year, One of the modules that is, not one of each.
You can now go and try and get some paid work. This will either be in schools where the pay is poor or in professional Academies where the pay is poor and unless you have played at level 3 or above your chances of getting in are poor. Be prepared to work five evenings and all weekend.It's taken me years of experience to get this cynical0
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