his wedding, my son is barely invited.

supermezzo

Oh, hit reply too soon there!
I would also write a letter to your ex calmly giving a timeline and the resaons why it isn't possible for his son to attend. And I'd keep a copy of that with the letter to your son as well. Too much these days is done by phone text etc and sometimes, a factual letter is more calming than heated phone calls and such which can be so easily mis-interpreted.

scheming_gypsy

LolaLemon wrote: »

It seems to be both.
Everyone at the wedding is not going to want to miss the wedding and an hour or 2 depending on traffic , round trip.
I have no child care until 7pm. Who is unable to drive, so can't go collect son.

what's your boss like? you work in a pub so there'll be a pub full of punters who you get on with. If you get on well with the boss they might be able to find somebody willing to give you a lift to collect your little un and drop him off at the babysitters and you only have to miss an hour of work or something.

supermezzo

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

what's your boss like? you work in a pub so there'll be a pub full of punters who you get on with. If you get on well with the boss they might be able to find somebody willing to give you a lift to collect your little un and drop him off at the babysitters and you only have to miss an hour of work or something.

OP has already stated that it is a 60 mile round trip and a couple of hours.

Reverbe

LolaLemon wrote: »

Yes I am angry, not at him, but at silly comments like 'score points'& 'playing games' when I have never used my son like that.

I'm sorry I didn't put much thought into the name of the thread, but legally, my child only has one parent, so technically I am correct in saying MY son, oh and sperm donor too.
Their is nothing legal to say that I have to allow my son to send time with him, but j do, as I think he should know his father, and his fathers side of the family. Just a pity that they only want the absolute bare minimum. It t.

Sounds to me like they dont want to be bothered with the kid so why not give it up as a lost cause. Ex has moved on obviously has a family of his own and a new wife now. The more I read this thread the more you come off as a bit bitter and jealous and very unaccomodating fo your sons needs and wants. You have a new man, you wont take time off work to go with your son who wants to attend etc etc.. If they dont want contact you are better off without them tbh. I had continual contact with my parents neither of which wanted me and I dont think this situation is half as bad as that.

Reverbe

LolaLemon wrote: »

Yes I am angry, not at him, but at silly comments like 'score points'& 'playing games' when I have never used my son like that.

I'm sorry I didn't put much thought into the name of the thread, but legally, my child only has one parent, so technically I am correct in saying MY son, oh and sperm donor too.
t.

so I take it then he is not your ex husband nor is he named as father on birth certificate???

I am tending to see the point of those posters who say both seem to be using child as a pawn in silly games. Mother unwilling to take time off to accomodate childs needs cos she wants her holiday as a day for herself. Father not treating both children the same and both of them referring to him as HE..

Reverbe

fannyanna wrote: »

I haven't read everything so apologies if I've missed some vital information.

My inital thoughts are that this is their wedding day. It's about your ex and his new partner. I think they are allowed to be selfish and put themselves first for such a special day.

I don't mean to sound rude but it's not really about your son. They've invited him to the wedding and are making him apart of it. Ok they're not bending over backwards to make him a core part of it but as I said before it's their wedding day.

Exactly Sorry to be brutal about this but it is not your childs big day

scheming_gypsy

supermezzo wrote: »

OP has already stated that it is a 60 mile round trip and a couple of hours.

60 mile round trip is 30 miles each way so it's not that far, i'm also debating the couple of hours part as it can't be all B roads.

Reverbe

LolaLemon wrote: »

It seems to be both.
Everyone at the wedding is not going to want to miss the wedding and an hour or 2 depending on traffic , round trip.
I have no child care until 7pm. Who is unable to drive, so can't go collect son.

they cant use public transport, get a cab or have someone they know who drives???

Marisco

Why not take time off, drive him to the wedding, go to a pub/cafe/cinema whatever, for the duration, then pick him up after the party? If you are not willing to take the time off to do that, then it's best the bairn doesn't go at all! It's his dad's wedding day, and he cannot be expected to run around and pick him up and drop him off. And if no one else is willing/able to, then do it yourself.

mummyroysof3

Reverbe wrote: »

Mother unwilling to take time off to accomodate childs needs cos she wants her holiday as a day for herself. Father not treating both children the same and both of them referring to him as HE..

i dont see what the problem is with OP calling her son HE on here, i wrote a post about my son yesterday and called him he a few times, couldnt use his name so what should i have put?