his wedding, my son is barely invited.

Reverbe

clearingout wrote: »

Unfortunately, the law is very woolly on the issue of addresses, landline phones, and contact details generally and it is perfectly possible for a judge to order that an adult has a right to a private life and you have to send your children off into the ether with no idea where they are or who they are with! I am currently in the position of having to send my children 250 miles away (and they are all under 7 so don't have their own mobile phones) to an address I know full well my ex doesn't live at (it's his mums, he doesn't live there), without a landline and an ex who will quite deliberately turn his mobile off when he has the children so if something were to happen, yes, it would be difficult to get in contact. If I don't send them, I am blocking contact with their father which is not acceptable, is it?

QUOTE]
Crikey clearing if thats the case then that is VERY scary..Best of luck x

PS if kids etc are at his mums does said mum not have any way to be contactable either???

Reverbe

LolaLemon wrote: »

I don't hand my son over for the weekend.

I have had that argument with him b4, when son was a baby and he would claim to have left fone at home, and not get back to me for days.

Not everyone has a landline, mine is not even plugged in.
In an emergency, emails would be the last thing I'd be thinking of. I know he doesn't use emails, so is pointless me even trying that route.


He doesn't contact son through the week ever. But I'm sure if it means that much to him, he will get intouch, although I will most likely have to bring the subject up again.

No excuse given here as yet for work number or any numbers or contact details for his wife to be who i presume lives with him and can get messages to him... nor any excuses given for why the cab driver dad cant assist in this situation:think::whistle:

As I said before surely you have emergency procedures in place???? !!!!!! as a grown adult companies always try to wheedle an emergency contact out of me??

LolaLemon

Reverbe wrote: »

No excuse given here as yet for work number or any numbers or contact details for his wife to be who i presume lives with him and can get messages to him... nor any excuses given for why the cab driver dad cant assist in this situation:think::whistle:

As I said before surely you have emergency procedures in place???? !!!!!! as a grown adult companies always try to wheedle an emergency contact out of me??

Last post of urs I'm responding to. I really do not understand your problem. I haven't seen any suggestions from u, just picking bits of others posts rehashing as ur own.

He works across the water, I don't know who for or what their contact no. is.
I had a no. for his wife to be, but I'm not high on her list to update when she gets a new one.

Don't understand why u are expecting people to miss roughly 2 hours if work, not including the extra expenses in travel. It's bad enough that son hasn't been properly thought of on this day and that I am expected to pick up the slack, be out of work and money, or else I don't love my son enough, as many have pointed out on here, without you expecting others to now also be out pocket.

This is not an emergency situation. It is a situation that really should have had more thought put into it on their side, as it happens, they haven't and we are now in this situation, and as I have said, if its that important, then he will get intouch. But I doubt that will happen til Friday.

If it is an emergency situation, and my son is with them, they all have my contact details, know where I stay, son has one of those 'I.C.E' tubs that u keep in the fridge with him at all times, this contains all contact details, details of allergies, reactions, medication, what to do, who to contact, both GP and specialist doctors number.
If son got seriously ill when with me, and I couldn't contact him, then someone would get a message to him, friend VIA friend/family type thing. But this is not an emergency.

fannyanna

LolaLemon wrote: »

Last post of urs I'm responding to. I really do not understand your problem. I haven't seen any suggestions from u, just picking bits of others posts rehashing as ur own.

He works across the water, I don't know who for or what their contact no. is.
I had a no. for his wife to be, but I'm not high on her list to update when she gets a new one.

Don't understand why u are expecting people to miss roughly 2 hours if work, not including the extra expenses in travel. It's bad enough that son hasn't been properly thought of on this day and that I am expected to pick up the slack, be out of work and money, or else I don't love my son enough, as many have pointed out on here, without you expecting others to now also be out pocket.

This is not an emergency situation. It is a situation that really should have had more thought put into it on their side, as it happens, they haven't and we are now in this situation, and as I have said, if its that important, then he will get intouch. But I doubt that will happen til Friday.

If it is an emergency situation, and my son is with them, they all have my contact details, know where I stay, son has one of those 'I.C.E' tubs that u keep in the fridge with him at all times, this contains all contact details, details of allergies, reactions, medication, what to do, who to contact, both GP and specialist doctors number.
If son got seriously ill when with me, and I couldn't contact him, then someone would get a message to him, friend VIA friend/family type thing. But this is not an emergency.

This is one thing I have to agree with Lola on - and I think she's getting a hard time on this rather unfairly.

It's not her fault if she doesn't have all the contact details. She'd soon be called a stalker if she started ringing her exe's workplace / new partner.

As someone else pointed out they have to send their young child hundred of miles away to their Father and they don't have contact details. So should we all jump on that person too?

whitewing

Lola, I agree totally with you that they should have organised things better and the responsibility is theirs.

However, speaking as an ex-single parent with similarly poor communication, my advice is for this time only (being as it is their wedding day), if you can put yourself out on this occasion it will help you/your son many years down the line. This is not one of the battles that you should stick in to win - what's the point? You can't win in priority over their wedding. However, you can help it run smoothly (not because you should, but because you can and because your son is too young to help with the communication).

LolaLemon

Update.
Said I can get cover from half 9/10 ish, and then head up (in new guys car), they declined that offer, told me that they have just arranged for their son to be picked up after 7 and is being looked after by this person, they foned this person who is happy to take my son home to my parents, I've agreed to this as long as my son gets to meet this person sometime this week so that I can find out how he is with her. He then said that's fine, as their son doesn't know her either.
His nieces are still staying over.... their son not is a recent change...

I'm happy now as long as son is comfortable enough to be in the car with this person (she is the best man's mum)

fannyanna

LolaLemon wrote: »

Update.
Said I can get cover from half 9/10 ish, and then head up (in new guys car), they declined that offer, told me that they have just arranged for their son to be picked up after 7 and is being looked after by this person, they foned this person who is happy to take my son home to my parents, I've agreed to this as long as my son gets to meet this person sometime this week so that I can find out how he is with her. He then said that's fine, as their son doesn't know her either.
His nieces are still staying over.... their son not is a recent change...

I'm happy now as long as son is comfortable enough to be in the car with this person (she is the best man's mum)

Glad to hear you've got it all sorted.

His nieces staying over probably has very little to do with him though (he probably doesn't care either way lol) so I wouldn't worry too much about that.

Emmzi

In fairness, it does sound like ex has made a reasonable effort there. Well done for hanging in there.

3v3

Wow! How wonderful that the best man's mum is offering to have the two boys, she clearly has a big heart

It's going to be hard for you to judge on just one visit though; but, as it is only a car journey on the day, I'm sure your son will be absolutely fine (just think how many children are taken to school by taxi having never met the driver before ).

Your son's father has obviously gone to a great deal of trouble to organise the best cover possible to suit the circumstances. Ten out of ten to him for that - many men may not have been as accommodating.

Well done to you for keeping the communication open with him; its nice to hear you are both working together for your son's best interests.