his wedding, my son is barely invited.

Reverbe

LolaLemon wrote: »

Sorry I use my moviles and have lost a few posts so far, so will try and include what I had.

The weekend of the wedding is the same as our local holiday weekend, I have already tried to see if anyone can take on my shift, leaving me with 8 hours at minimum wage, under £48 for the week.(sons diet means I pay £11 per week just on milk for the week!) I have never said I would not take a holiday for the night, their just isn't holiday time available.

.

If you are trying to say here that money is an issue, may I note here your use of the term moviles... take it this means mobiles and is in the plural here.. you find money for those i see..

Reverbe

abacus73 wrote: »

I gave up reading at this point. What a disgusting way to refer to the father of your child. I agree with the poster above that at 4 years old suggesting a girl fancies your son is a very wierd way to look at things!

Glad its not just me who finds this sick and extremely age inappropriate..:eek::eek::eek:

Zoetoes

Reverbe wrote: »

Lola you cant blame him for not wanting an unattended infant running round at his wedding ..

Stupid comment. It's his child not some distant acquaintance's child.

Zoetoes

euronorris wrote: »

As it is coinciding with a day that your ex usually has your son, why don't you suggest swapping days? ie, you agree to take time off work, drop off and pick up son on that day. In exchange, your ex agrees to pick him up and drop him off on another day so that a) your son can be there for longer, b) it may remove all the arguments (and potential arguments) c) you won't need to pay out for childcare d) your son will get another day with his father.

If they aren't keen on the idea, you can just explain (not tell, explain) calmly that, whilst you want to be accomodating as you want your son to be there, you simply cannot afford the extra childcare or time off work, and you are suggesting this as a compromise.

Hope that helps. x

Yes this is fair, perhaps see if someone at work would be willing to swap shifts with you OP?

newcook

Zoetoes wrote: »

Erm...he was part of the process as was she. No they hadn't planned the baby, neither of them, but it happened to both of them so they both have a responsibility.

So you're suggesting any woman who becomes pregnant but the relationship doesn't last, should accept that they are solely responsible for the child? Either that or abort?

yes they do both have a responsibility but you said that she and he chose to have the baby - he didnt, the OP chose to continue with the pregnancy. Im guessing the ex didnt have any say in the matter at all. while they were both part of the 'process' it was the OP's sole decision to keep the baby and the majority of the responsibility should be with the OP.

the ex has offered alternatives to try and fit with OP that can also be fitted around their wedding but OP has snubbed the options and has said that her son is being excluded.
he is not being excluded - ex wanted son to be there until 7pm so he could enjoy the meal and the start of the party but OP refuses to go and collect son. as all the guests are staying over at the hotel Im guessing they will all be drinking therefore unable to take 2 hours out of the wedding to drive (and even if they werent drinking probably wouldnt want to miss 2 hours of the wedding anyway)
ex has said ok we will have him dropped off after the service then but OP has still played her face at that.

he probably could stay overnight but from what I can tell from what OP has said, he doesnt have a great relationship with ex's side so are pretty much strangers to him (yes, that is ex's fault) but he would probably be quite scared staying overnight with strangers - especially if his allergies kick in because whoever was looking after him may not know about them.

Marisco

The op has already said all her workmates are on leave. I think 13Kent and 3v3 have hit the nails squarely on the head here!! I'm also curious about the uni excuse, I thought uni didn't start until about the second week in Sept??? I know they usually start about a week after schools, and they are generally the first week in Sept.

Zoetoes

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

fully agree, I'd rather people use he or she when talking about their kids instead of DS and DD as though they're a frickin Nintendo or a direct debit.

:rotfl::rotfl:I never know what half the abbreviations mean SDHD blah blah, I just put my little lad, takes an extra second to type!

Zoetoes

shellsuit wrote: »

I think considering it's their wedding day, that the right thing to do, if you want your son to be involved, is to take the time off work and do the running about.

However you feel about the bloke, I'd do this just the once, otherwise either your son will be upset, or you'll get called childish and jealous.

If you can't do it, then your son can't go can he?

It's not fair to say it's their day to have him as it's not a normal day is it?

I agree, really they can have their wedding day whenever they like, they can't be expected to fit it around childcare.

I think OP should take her son if she feels he will have a nice day and be fully included (as much as the other kid). You have to put your own feelings and needs aside for the sake of the little boy.

Mojisola

LolaLemon wrote: »

My sons sperm donor is getting married next month, abt 2 weeks back, he asked me to pick son up from venue at 7pm, I said I can't as I am working, plus my car isn't that reliable for a 60+ mile round trip. He went in a huff, saying that no one can take him home, as 'everyone is staying at the hotel.

This week I got a text telling me of the plans for son, and the date of the wedding.

He is to be picked up at 11 and will get dropped off at 3pm.
I am absolutely livid on my sons behalf. He is not invited for the meal, nor for the party.

Yet his 2 nieces are invited, some of his friends kids are invited their son is going to be their. AND THEY ARE ALL STAYING OVER!

Apart from how upset for my son I am, I'm in a quandary as the wedding is on the day that my son normally goes to theirs, from 3pm when he finishes work, till 7pm.

Lola - is there any possibility that he's trying to make it so difficult that you refuse to let your son go so he can tell his son that you won't let him come to the wedding? That way the new wife doesn't have to have his "other" child at "their" celebration but the blame can be put on you.

I would agree to the 11 - 3 offer as long as he also pays for child care up to 7pm when your normal arrangements can kick in.

Zoetoes

Reverbe wrote: »

Glad its not just me who finds this sick and extremely age inappropriate..:eek::eek::eek:

Are you referring to this?

but they did tell son he was going to the party and he can dance with the best man's wee girl, who apparently fancies son, think she is 4 as well.

Let's not take it out of context, it's obviously meant in a cute way for them to have a dance together and be friends.