his wedding, my son is barely invited.

STOCKWIRE

cobbingstones wrote: »

Hi Lola,

I can totally understand where you are coming from, however, I would make damn sure that my child was there with his dad on his big day. Even if it was just to pi** off the new wife. :-)

Hope you get it all sorted.

Yeh, that's right !, Show no respect for the child and use him as a pawn,
Just to pi** someone off !.

vlevans

STOCKWIRE wrote: »

Yeh, that's right !, Show no respect for the child and use him as a pawn,
Just to pi** someone off !.

After reading your posts it seems to come easy to you to be judgemental and nasty when you're a faceless name on an internet forum. I wonder if you'd the same if you was talking to these people face to face?
I very much doubt it.

Sambucus_Nigra

vlevans wrote: »

After reading your posts it seems to come easy to you to be judgemental and nasty when you're a faceless name on an internet forum. I wonder if you'd the same if you was talking to these people face to face?
I very much doubt it.

That would mean leaving the house though....which I suspect doesn't happen very often.

welshmoneylover

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Dear Ex.

I am not being awkward. As you are having your wedding [congrats by the way ] on the same day as you always have Little One, and I always work that day [until 1am], and mother always babysits after 7 - I just can't come and get him. I did assume that he would be staying at the hotel with [other son's name] and he was looking forward to the great adventure. I'm at a loss now what to do - as I can't book any leave now due to a, b and c already being on their hols - I can't be in two places at once.


I'm sure if we chat tomorrow we could maybe try and find someone who could drop him at mum's at 7pm? Is there anyone there that won't be drinking that could run him over, or could he sleep in the hotel in a cot for the night and I'll pick him up at 8am?

I think this could be part of the problem - my bit in bold.

Most weddings I've gone to, the guests are well on their way to getting rat arssed by 2pm and there probably won't be anyone sober to drop him off. I can understand the groom and bride not wanting responsibility for a 4 year old either if they've been drinking champers.

If I were the OP, and I really wanted my son to go to the wedding, I think I would move mountains to pick him up myself. OP, You've had plenty of notice about this wedding yet you seem to be leaving the organising to the child's dad, with that attitude no wonder they can't be bothered if you cant either.

Sambucus_Nigra

welshmoneylover wrote: »

I think this could be part of the problem - my bit in bold.

Most weddings I've gone to, the guests are well on their way to getting rat arssed by 2pm and there probably won't be anyone sober to drop him off. I can understand the groom and bride not wanting responsibility for a 4 year old either if they've been drinking champers.

If I were the OP, and I really wanted my son to go to the wedding, I think I would move mountains to pick him up myself. OP, You've had plenty of notice about this wedding yet you seem to be leaving the organising to the child's dad, with that attitude no wonder they can't be bothered if you cant either.

Most weddings I've been to, someone or other is driving and thus sober.

scheming_gypsy

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Most weddings I've been to, someone or other is driving and thus sober.

i think the OP mentioned Scotland.......... :whistle:

Sambucus_Nigra

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

i think the OP mentioned Scotland.......... :whistle:

Aah. Nuff said.

Nicki

Your son is invited to the wedding. He has been invited from 11 am in the morning until 7pm in the evening which is a very sensible period of time for a 4 year old IMO.

The reason why your son is only going to spend a minimal amount of time at the wedding and be left out of the wedding photographs is because YOU are unable or unwilling to be flexible on your ex's wedding day to facilitate your son's attendance. That is your choice but you can't really blame your ex for this, nor is it reasonable to treat his wedding day as a normal access day and expect him to stick to the same pick up and drop off times. If Christmas day or his birthday fell on a normal access day would you be happy for the ex to insist on normal access arrangements preventing you spending time with him?

You need to accept that the fault for excluding the child from this wedding lies AT LEAST equally with you, then if you still care about it, work to find a solution so the child doesn't miss out.

fannyanna

NuttyFaggot wrote: »

"soo glad I got out of that relationship when I did, b4 I found out I was pregnant )

I am wondering if this is perhaps part of the problem. As the relationship had finished before you found out you were pregnant, the dad (and his family?) just wasn't involved and therefore has more of a bond with the child that he saw every day progress from a little bump, to a new born, to a toddler. You've also said, he is not legally the dad (which I don't understand, is he not on the birth certificate? If not, why not?) I'm not suggesting it is true but maybe, just maybe, he doesn't have the same bond with your son - nobodys fault, just the way it is.

Uni on a Saturday? Very different in England, the students wouldn't be able to attend after a Friday night!

Ah I missed this.

To be honest I think this explains a lot. Would I be right to presume this was an unplanned pregnancy? Please feel free to ignore me if this question is too personal.

OP - I'm guessing that he's never really seen himself as a Father and there's never been a strong relationship between him and the little one.

If the above is true then I don't mean to sound harsh but his wife to be and their child are of course going to be his first priority. Little one will always come second. I'm not saying it's right but it if the above is right I think you'll find that's just the way things are.

Sorry if that sounds rude.

tattycath

robpw2 wrote: »

can you not book a room for your son at the hotel... maybe its me but perhaps the reason they want him picking up is because you said you couldn't do 7pm and they feel he would be unaccompined during the party and the meal etc , you do not mention how old your son.
Is there not a chance you could book the day off so that you can take your son to the wedding ..

When we got married spouses children came, but there was not a cat in hell's chance that we'd want partners ex there!
We looked after them and sorted child care for the night.