Confused and upset.

Toothfairy4

Exactly what gillypkk said. Please be strong enough to realise you deserve more than this, the way he treats you is SO wrong in so many ways Marriage should be about mutual love and respect, and it doesn't seem like he is showing you any respect.

Gigervamp

Or any love.

shellsuit

You're newly married !!!!!! and he's saying you are mental and fat?!

If I didn't know any better, I'd say he is definitely upto something.

I wouldn't put up with that from my husband and if he went out like yours did and wouldn't say where he had been, I'd pack him a bag and tell him to go back to wherever it was he was!

poorly_scammo

It sounds like he's feeling guilty OP and is trying to transfer the blame on to you.

He doesn't sound much of a husband. My OH said he was having an affair with your friend when I showed him the whole thread and I agree with him.

I do hope I'm wrong.

Emmzi

Just leaping in with my usual "I'm a big girl and my bloke still fancies me rotten and we have loads of fun."

It's his job to make you feel gorgeous so you get in the mood. He's just shifting blame for him being an !!!!!! Bet I could find you a better looking date than him within the week...

shelley_crow

Hmm, you having gained a few pounds doesn't give him licence to do whatever he wants. He should you unconditionally, regardess of whether you lose or gain a stone, get a dodgy haircut or paint yourself green. He promised to love you and to stay faithful to you.

You didn't agree to put up with mental abuse, to be belittled or abandoned when the whim finds him. This won't end well, leave while you still have the self confidence and the means to do so.

make_me_wise

bigmomma051204 wrote: »

Well, he finally came home at about midnight last night. I tried to talk to him but he was having none of it and got so angry that i was a bit scared (not violent but just extremely angry, red in face and pushing me away etc) and in the end i gave up trying.

So, tried again this morning and all i got was denials about it all.

He denied that he had been doing anything. Said that i must have put the photo there and he just didnt move it cos he thought i had left it there for a reason (such as what who knows!!).

I then reminded him about what he had said on our hen/stag do about her. He again denied he had said anything untoward.

I kept to my guns and said i had heard him and i had seen him etc but he just was very stubborn and refused to accept what i was saying to him.

He says i am just paranoid about him leaving me for anyone else

and that i "should sort my head out",

i am "a mental person who needs help" etc etc..

He has been ignoring me all day, refusing to speak to me and leaving the room when i enter it.

He said i am too "in his face" and need to "back off" when i try to speak to him so i gave up earlier.

God knows what i should do. It isnt as easy as just ending things as we are married, have a child and live together. Financially i am the main earner but couldnt stay living where we are without financial contributions from him. This is just a nightmare

In my opinion you are suffering emotional abuse. He sounds like a nasty piece of work who cant see how completely out of order his behaviour is. Any attempt by you to address these issues is shot down in flames by him and you are labelled as a mental person who needs help, someone who needs to sort their head out, in his face.

An abusive person reflects all their failings back onto their victim and refuses to take any responsibility. This seems to be what he is doing to you.

Personally I would find it unbearable to live with someone like that. As for being ignored, him sulking and refusing to speak to you all day and leaving a room when you enter. Well OP words fail me there.

You must do whatever feels right for you. I would have packed my bags by now and walked out on such an a......e of a man. Financially you would cope. If needs be you could apply for financial help in the form of benefits depending on your earning power. The CSA would make him financially responsible for his child. The finacial side of things can be sorted. What matters most now is your well-being and peace of mind.

make_me_wise

poorly_scammo wrote: »

It sounds like he's feeling guilty OP and is trying to transfer the blame on to you.

He doesn't sound much of a husband. My OH said he was having an affair with your friend when I showed him the whole thread and I agree with him.

I do hope I'm wrong.

Exactly what I thought too.

lalahland

If you can both go to councelling then maybe you could salvage what there is of your relationship but after reading your thread I doubt this will happen. He sounds like a manipulator and has quite easily turned this around on you as though you're to blame - You are not and you are the only one who can decide what to do from here on in.

Obviously you are confused as to what to do and there are many difficulties to overcome if you decide to leave your partner but once you've gotten through them life without the constant put downs and walking on egg shells is 100% better for both you and your child.

Do you really want to raise a child in a relationship where daddy treats mummy like a doormat without any regard for her emotional or physical wellbeing (Added stress doesn't help someone with high blood pressure and STDs are not something you should pass on to a loved one).

Good luck

*Louise*

bigmomma051204 wrote: »

No, i would like to be treated better but i have put on a small amount of weight (couple of pounds) since our wedding last year and feel like it maybe my fault really as i havent looked after myself as well as i could... i have been under ALOT of work pressure and my blood pressure has sky rocketed... which has made me stupidly comfort eat. I am not exactly huge but my husband has commented lots on the fact i have put on a weight and i kind of feel responsible maybe..

You what??

You seriously need to stop putting yourself down and letting yourself be treated like rubbish for no reason.

A couple of pounds? Big deal! The only excess weight you need to worry about is the man-shaped mass which has no respect for you.

I had a feeling he would deny it and make out your were imagining things (as if!) which is why it's always better to confront someone when you catch them 'in the act' as it were.

What an utter creep of a man.:mad: