Am so stressed I could scream.....

Britneyspears

DH came home from work I told him, he said to her come out now or I will kick door down,

He sounds violent i wouldn't want the likes of that treating my kids like this

Allegra

Britneyspears wrote: »

Also packing her off for X weeks isn't going to really help is it?

Beg to differ Never underestimate the value of respite, no matter how much you love your disabled/challenging child.

Rochelle

Have you asked her school if there are any local mentoring schemes in your area of Leicester, maybe having someone out of the family and not in authority could help your dd big time in so many ways xx

Britneyspears

Allegra wrote: »

Beg to differ Never underestimate the value of respite, no matter how much you love your disabled/challenging child.

Yes i agree with you there, But she is bringing that child back into a home where clearly she is not wanted by the OP partner no wonder she acts like she does

Allegra

Britneyspears wrote: »

Yes i agree with you there, But she is bringing that child back into a home where clearly she is not wanted by the OP partner no wonder she acts like she does

They can - and I hope they will ! - use the time to talk to each other and plan how to best tackle the situation once DD is back. It's so much easier to do this when you can hear yourself think !

And in the bloke's defence, it is quite possible that he feels like he does because of the child's behaviour, rather than having caused it by feeling that way in the first place (he'd probably not have married Darly if he felt like that all along, after all !).

And yes, I know I am jumping from one side of the fence to the other from post to post - that is exactly the point. Everyone has their own point of view, and feel theirs is valid and justified, and no one is very happy. Being able to put yourself in someone else's shoes is usually half the battle

CH27

You are just going round in circles resenting each other.

Does she get a chance to let out her frustrations with exercise ie Kick boxing or Zumba?

Have you tried setting her targets? If you do X&Y you can have the internet back.

Set a time for her to ring gran.

Sally_A

Get her into a sports team; she will soon learn to act as part of a team, and gain some good friends too. Go for an out of hours one rather than a school one - the coaches aren't half as namby pamby to moodiness as teachers. (sorry teachers - but you have soppy guidelines to adhere to, whereas independent sports clubs do not).

Support her in her sport (when asked by her). Netball, rugby and hockey are good ones.

mazinmouse

Have you considered reintroducing something that has been removed - perhaps following some good behaviour.

ali-t

darlyd wrote: »

If only social services would come to our aid, but they don't want to know. I guess they to busy interfering with who don't need it.

What would you expect them to do? Social services are there to provide input when there are care and welfare issues or child protection issues. There does not appear to be either here from what you have said. Your daughter appears (from what you have posted) to be neither neglected or abused so I am not clear what you would expect from social services. You may get access to SW support through CAMHS if there is a diagnosis and ongoing input but this won't be to fix it. As one of the other posters said, only you and your OH can fix it.

Your daughter needs to know the boundaries and what happens if she breaches them. You also need to have your OH and your daughters gran on board. Gran is teaching your daughter how to manipulate situations by coming in and 'fixing things' when your daughter kicks off. If you are feeling very fragile just now can gran take her for a few weeks to allow you to get your head in a better place and perhaps if gran has her for a while she may see the side you see. Gran may also have some strategies for dealing with the situation if she has increased contact.

Your house sounds like mayhem and I question the sense in bringing a new puppy into it when you already have so much on your plate.

Good luck OP but remember that no service can come in and fix situations - only offer strategies for you to implement so you can take back control.

make_me_wise

tango wrote: »

If you read your post ,what do you think it says about you ?

The OPs post tells me she is a mum, coping in extremely difficult circumstances and has come on here to vent and let it all out. When you do that you hope others will understand where you are coming from and help regardless.

On the other hand Tango, your post tells me you are a nit picking, bloody minded individual who has not intention of being any help whatsoever and just wants to make the OP feel even worse.