Am so stressed I could scream.....

Darlyd

sorry this is going to be long. Not looking for sympathy just someone to talk too..

KIDS have been off for how long? (this is day 3).

DD1 (who is 12) Does nothing, she eats sweets, crisps etc and just throws the wrapper on the floor, its disgusting and with my OCD makes me either cry or shout. She just tells me to shut my gob (screaming it at me).

She keeps leaving the stair gate we have on the kitchen seperating puppy staff to senior staff, she does it on purpose to see my reaction. Not funny when Senior staff pins puppy staff on the floor because he wants to play and she wants to sleep. :mad:

DD1 keeps winding DD2 up, I say please be quiet or take it upstairs, she speaks louder.

I have offered to take her swimming, but she says she can't be bothered to go swimming. I had to wait for DH to come home for lunch to help me get her into the car so I can go Asda, and take them to the park BUT it started raining, so Asda was OK, then we went macdonalds, BUT she just embarrassed me in there by talking really loud and slurping her shake (suppose no big deal)

IT's so bad i have been locking myself in my bedroom, after taking her rubbish out of my bedroom.

She is so challenging, and under CAHMS & CAF.

We seen CAHMS few weeks ago, was waiting for appointment to see them again, the next thing i know they sent a physciatrist into school to assess her, she didnt know he was coming, she was well behaved in her fave lesson of drama, he left THEN the next lesson she told the teacher to f off! :eek:. And they found it difficult to get her to work outside the office. (again!)

Am so stressed, I nearly caused a car accident erlier on way back from Asda. I fear going to work, as I do house calls, my mind is just not with it. I can not concentrate, I tried to fill out job application forms for a new job, as the one I do does not pay to well for the rushing around we do. But have made a boo boo, DH tipexed it and is photo copying it for me.

youth found me few days ago, banning her from going for a month as she told them to f off when they politly asked her to stop stirring trouble with the other kids. She seems to think she can go to the park tonight to meet her friends (same time as youth which is right next to it) we told her no. And she created by breaking her wardrobe door, and all her clothes are on the top of the stairs.

I seem to be in a very dark place at the moment, and my medication don't seem to be helping me, GP offered another med to take along with my other ones BUT I refused as I have had serotonin syndrome in the past.

She is going to my parents for a few weeks as of this weekend, and i know this may sound bad but I can't wait. I need a break from all the shouting, banging, and the phone calls/facebook messages from kids parents.. She has managed to set up another fb account (using friends pc) and messaged a girl who she invited to her bday sleep over, and said you have to fing pay my mum back she has booked a pamper party. (I never did in the end, we just discussed a sleep over). I was mortified.

Omg both kids in the garden now, DD2 is screaming cus DD1 is on the trampoline with her, bouncing hard and DD2 don't like it. !!!!!!, I just can't cope... Feel like ending it!!!!!!

Sorry was just a rant, I feel better for putting this down, DH and I are not communicating really, don't really know what to talk about.

tango

If you read your post ,what do you think it says about you ?

Darlyd

tango wrote: »

If you read your post ,what do you think it says about you ?

I don't know. Suppose I am a bad mum for even trying.

Or that I am severely depressed?

I am so confused..

My ears are ringing, I have had to lock the back door, and have locked myself in the bedroom with my dog. DD2 is next to me quiet watching tv.

DACC

What does Dad think of the situation?

Darlyd

Dh does not want her here, he has told me in the past to move out with her. (she is not his). Her sperm donor has never bothered ever! It's so bad...

tryinbutlovebuyin

Aww I really feel for you Sending a virtual hug O

Has she beed diagnosed with anything? If her diet is consisting of mainly junk food this may be a factor. Could you sneak a vitamin suppliment into her (i'm guessing she won't take it voluntarily) The best is Bassetts but it has to be the one containing Omega 3. It comes in orange & strawberry and is just like a jelly sweet. My son used to have terrible tantrums at school, was soooooo stubborn & told his classroom assistant to f off and this really helped him.

I'm sure it is causing great tension in your home. Hopefully when she is away with your parents you'll be able to sort things out with your husband. Make a point of doing something special with you other one. Sounds like he / she needs a bit of a break too.
Extra medication isn't going to solve anything when the problem still exists. You need to get to the root of her problem first. Have you tried taking things like TV out of her room as a punishment for her behaviour? Or is there a drama type club or organisation in your area she could join?

Don't ever feel you can't talk to anyone. Come on here and rant away - there are plenty of us here to listen.

Take care x

neneromanova

I don't personally know what CAHMS or CAF is but do you ever punish her? No sweets, tv, bed early?

I personally read that as "She's a nightmare child, screams, is untidy/no manners about wrappers, but I just ignore that and say lets go swimming and McDonalds." I know I only have 2 very young kids and have the joys to come, but It just sounds like she needs discipline.

tryinbutlovebuyin

tango wrote: »

If you read your post ,what do you think it says about you ?

What do you think it says about her? I'd love to know.

gratefulforhelp_2

This will sound pathetic, but it is powerful and it works, I have been working successfully with kids like this for 20 years...and I know that's not the same as living with it (hugs).

Do three things

1. Praise every thing you see her doing that is good - there will be some.
2. Each day, decide one behaviour which is non-negotiable, communicate it clearly to her and explain which priviledge you will remove if she blows it. Be clear what the reward will be if she makes it.
3. Ignore everything else, pick your battles, and one behaviour a day is plenty.

xxx

tessie_bear

its early days of the holidays...everyone needs to settle and sort out a routine for the holidays...what does she want to do ? explain that being a pain/ignorant isnt an option...when in doubt i take my kids out...they seem quieter in the great outdoors....i hope things start to look up

balletshoes

darlyd wrote: »

Dh does not want her here, he has told me in the past to move out with her. (she is not his). Her sperm donor has never bothered ever! It's so bad...

thats such a shame - you come as a package, you and both your children.

Do you think your DD will behave a bit better at your parents home? Due to work commitments, my DD goes off for a week or 2 each summer to my mum's, but she doesn't have the behavioural problems your DD does, and I miss her like mad when she's not here.

It sounds like you need more support with your DD - can you contact the support organisations involved for her now?