Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

POPPYOSCAR

VestanPance wrote: »

The don't worry it'll work out, you'll meet someone and be happy after being betrayed and left badly scared menatlly is what the moralless betrayers and cretains that hook up with them like to tell themselves to make themself feel better over their vile actions.

But you can meet someone and be happy after being betrayed - I did.

You sound like you have been deeply hurt and are very bitter. I hope you can come to let go of the bitterness and move on with your life, if that is the case.

VestanPance

It's just pointing out the obvious. It's all about you. As soon as you knew the guy was married you could have walked away and didn't. Don't pretend your actions aren't anything other than selfish, destructive and life scaring for others.

The old it'll work out for the best line is hopefull at best, and nothing but a guilt relief on those doing things they know they shouldn't.

VestanPance

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

But you can meet someone and be happy after being betrayed - I did.

You sound like you have been deeply hurt and are very bitter. I hope you can come to let go of the bitterness and move on with your life, if that is the case.

You can and you will are two very different things though.

I've been hurt in the past, and truth be told I doubt I could ever open up or trust anyone enough again to start a new relationship or to start a family.

purpletoenails

VestanPance wrote: »

It's just pointing out the obvious. It's all about you. As soon as you knew the guy was married you could have walked away and didn't. Don't pretend your actions aren't anything other than selfish, destructive and life scaring for others.

The old it'll work out for the best line is hopefull at best, and nothing but a guilt relief on those doing things they know they shouldn't.

No, it's not all about me - he could have walked away just as easily. I am also aware that there are others to consider and I haven't set out to randomly destroy anyones lives.

POPPYOSCAR

VestanPance wrote: »

You can and you will are two very different things though.

I've been hurt in the past, and truth be told I doubt I could ever open up or trust anyone enough again to start a new relationship or to start a family.

I don't how long ago this happened to you but I hope with time you can trust someone enough to allow them to develop a close relationship.You will have to if you do not want to end up on your own for the rest of your life.

Have you been to counselling at all? it can be a great help to some people.(Just a thought)

nickyhutch

VestanPance wrote: »

You can and you will are two very different things though.

I've been hurt in the past, and truth be told I doubt I could ever open up or trust anyone enough again to start a new relationship or to start a family.

You're letting yourself be beaten in that case. You're the one who will lose out in the long term. Life's full of risks - take a few.

VestanPance

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I don't how long ago this happened to you but I hope with time you can trust someone enough to allow them to develop a close relationship.You will have to if you do not want to end up on your own for the rest of your life.

Have you been to counselling at all? it can be a great help to some people.(Just a thought)

Three years ago.

No counselling. I don't need it, I know what bothers me without having to pay for someone to tell me. I've gone from a long term relationship with someone I trusted completely, to trusting nobody.

I'm not going to be that jealous/crazy guy and as I feel I can fully trust nobody I've removed myself from ever dating, because no woman deserves me to act in that manner around them. I've accepted that I'll be alone from now on.

purpletoenails

VestanPance wrote: »

Three years ago.

No counselling. I don't need it, I know what bothers me without having to pay for someone to tell me. I've gone from a long term relationship with someone I trusted completely, to trusting nobody.

I'm not going to be that jealous/crazy guy and as I feel I can fully trust nobody I've removed myself from ever dating, because no woman deserves me to act in that manner around them. I've accepted that I'll be alone from now on.

You need to get some help, you can't live like that for the rest of your life. Just because one person let you down it doesn't mean that everyone is going to

POPPYOSCAR

VestanPance wrote: »

Three years ago.

No counselling. I don't need it, I know what bothers me without having to pay for someone to tell me. I've gone from a long term relationship with someone I trusted completely, to trusting nobody.

I'm not going to be that jealous/crazy guy and as I feel I can fully trust nobody I've removed myself from ever dating, because no woman deserves me to act in that manner around them. I've accepted that I'll be alone from now on.

I find that very sad.



We all get let down in life but have to pick ourselves up and start all over again.

I hope that someday a woman comes along and changes your point of view - three years is not that long in the big scheme of things!

VestanPance

purpletoenails wrote: »

You need to get some help, you can't live like that for the rest of your life. Just because one person let you down it doesn't mean that everyone is going to

It shows me that I'm a bad judge of people, as up until I found out I would have swore blind my ex would never have done such a thing.

I can't have a relationship unless I fully trust that person and they can fully trust me, and I no longer feel I can fully trust anyone. I couldn't have a relationship where I second guess someones every move or motive, and I wouldn't expect anyone to tollerate me for acting in such a manner.

I wouldn't wish me on anyone these days. I'm not the person I used to be.