Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

poet123

1echidna wrote: »

You miss the point but no matter, it wasn't an important one. If people like to reach verdicts on other people so be it. Its not for me unless there are good reasons, as I think people should be as autonomous as possible.

Without the constraints imposed by societal "judgement" weak people who cannot reign themselves in would contribute to an even bigger decline in society than is already evident. Judgement is part of the oil that keep society running, so long as it is tempered with understanding in appropriate cases.

nickyhutch

poet123 wrote: »

I disagree, there are not degrees of right or wrong, there are excuses, there may even be mittigating circumstances, but ultimately, it is still wrong.

Well that's just a difference of opinion - people in either camp are never going to agree, and neither are right or wrong.

londoner1998

nickyhutch wrote: »

I think it's judgmental to think that EVERY instance of adultery is wrong, without hearing the background to what's been going on.

I disagree... whatever the background, there are different strategies to deal with the situation at hand. Choosing to have an affair is never the right thing to do. Now, entering into a relationship AFTER dealing with whatever is going on in the exisiting one is a much better decision. Of course, not easy but at least it is true, IYKWIM. Anything else is burying head in the sand and as we say where I come from , swimming while hiding your clothes (AKA as having your cake and eating it).

I guess the crucial distinction is that not every one that has an affair is a horrible human being or does it with the intention of hurting others. Nice people do bad things, but the fact that they are good people doesn't take away how misguided those actions are.


Sorry about the philosophical rant, but having been there, I just can not see how anyone can say that an affair is not a bad thing to happen, or that can ever be justified...

nickyhutch

poet123 wrote: »

Without the constraints imposed by societal "judgement" weak people who cannot reign themselves in would contribute to an even bigger decline in society than is already evident. Judgement is part of the oil that keep society running, so long as it is tempered with understanding in appropriate cases.

It may not be that they "cannot reign themselves in" - maybe they don't want to reign themselves in. It's not necessarily a weakness.

1echidna

poet123 wrote: »

Without the constraints imposed by societal "judgement" weak people who cannot reign themselves in would contribute to an even bigger decline in society than is already evident. Judgement is part of the oil that keep society running, so long as it is tempered with understanding in appropriate cases.

Autonomy is what stops the world stagnating. One of the most important industrial process on the planet was developed by Sohio in the face of its major rival saying that they would hear the bang of the plant exploding from their location on the other side of Lake Michigan. Don't knock the value of people being autonomous to reach their own judgement on a situation only they know well.

gratefulforhelp_2

1echidna wrote: »

I would hope that society now shows more maturity than to think that a punishment such as ostracism is appropriate.

What punishment is appropriate?

nickyhutch

londoner1998 wrote: »

I disagree... whatever the background, there are different strategies to deal with the situation at hand. Choosing to have an affair is never the right thing to do. But that's YOUR opinion - not everybody's. Now, entering into a relationship AFTER dealing with whatever is going on in the exisiting one is a much better decision. Better, yes. Of course, not easy but at least it is true, IYKWIM. Anything else is burying head in the sand and as we say where I come from , swimming while hiding your clothes (AKA as having your cake and eating it).

I guess the crucial distinction is that not every one most people, actually that has an affair is a horrible human being or does it with the intention of hurting others. Nice people do bad things, but the fact that they are good people doesn't take away how misguided those actions are.


Sorry about the philosophical rant, but having been there, I just can not see how anyone can say that an affair is not a bad thing to happen, or that can ever be justified...

We'll have to agree to disagree.

Person_one

nickyhutch wrote: »

Well that's just a difference of opinion - people in either camp are never going to agree, and neither are right or wrong.

Hmm, I'm fairly liberal regarding relationships, as long as all parties are aware and consenting you can do what you want for me.

However, I was brought up to believe that its wrong to knowingly hurt others when its at all avoidable, so I have to say that adultery is always wrong I'm afraid.

nickyhutch

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

What punishment is appropriate?

No punishment - it's not against the law.

gratefulforhelp_2

1echidna wrote: »

Autonomy is what stops the world stagnating. One of the most important industrial process on the planet was developed by Sohio in the face of its major rival saying that they would hear the bang of the plant exploding from their location on the other side of Lake Michigan. Don't knock the value of people being autonomous to reach their own judgement on a situation only they know well.

One can still be autonamous in the awareness of society's disapproval.

If that disapproval wasn't there, more people would be doing it, though.

They can be influenced by consequences but still autonamous.