Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

nickyhutch

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

Judgemental is right, but I think you are stung because I don't condone adultery, and for some reason that surprises or annoys you.

Not at all why would I be? And thank you for agreeing on "judgemental".

Bogof_Babe

Just a further comment for the OP, as I see she is still reading...

When I had a (accidental but very timely) confrontation with the OW, from what she said I got the strong impression that my OH had led her to believe that our marriage was in trouble and something of a sham. I believe he did this more by what he didn't tell her than what he did, although one comment ("you're always bloody away") showed that he had given the impression that we hardly communicated. This was quite an eye-opener. He was still being a loving husband in every way towards me (and I wasn't "always bloody away"), and he was horrified that I might consider us splitting up over his emotional fling.

Which bears out earlier points about just because he tells you they have a marriage in name only, it doesn't mean that is actually the case! I think a fly on the wall of the marital home might hear a totally different version of the situation.

gratefulforhelp_2

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Ladies, ladies, if you could please settle this in a fight using those gladiator giant cotton buds and wearing bikinis, the males on here would really appreciate it.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

1echidna wrote: »

You watch too many soaps and don't understand real life in all its variety.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

nickyhutch wrote: »

Not at all why would I be? And thank you for agreeing on "judgemental".

Pleasure treasure

1echidna

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Just a further comment for the OP, as I see she is still reading...

When I had a (accidental but very timely) confrontation with the OW, from what she said I got the strong impression that my OH had led her to believe that our marriage was in trouble and something of a sham. I believe he did this more by what he didn't tell her than what he did, although one comment ("you're always bloody away") showed that he had given the impression that we hardly communicated. This was quite an eye-opener. He was still being a loving husband in every way towards me (and I wasn't "always bloody away"), and he was horrified that I might consider us splitting up over his emotional fling.

Which bears out earlier points about just because he tells you they have a marriage in name only, it doesn't mean that is actually the case! I think a fly on the wall of the marital home might hear a totally different version of the situation.

You might be surprised at the number of marriages, particularly with older couples which are celibate. Quite a few men (or women) claiming this to other parties will be telling the truth.

Bogof_Babe

1echidna wrote: »

You might be surprised at the number of marriages, particularly with older couples which are celibate. Quite a few men (or women) claiming this to other parties will be telling the truth.

I wouldn't think the OP's situation falls into the "older couples" bracket, as the OM is apparently 50, so unless he is his wife's toyboy I'd think they are still "in the mood" lol.

We are 59 and 65 and it ain't over yet, far from it .

1echidna

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

I wouldn't think the OP's situation falls into the "older couples" bracket, as the OM is apparently 50, so unless he is his wife's toyboy I'd think they are still "in the mood" lol.

We are 59 and 65 and it ain't over yet, far from it .

One in twenty in their thirties have celibate marriages, much more at age 50.

ETA http://fixyoursexlessmarriage.com/coping-in-a-sexless-marriage.html

Lotus-eater

I think I'm going to go celibate.

It's is just too much hassle at my age, with joints creaking and fluids everywhere, not to mention getting the marks off the ceiling.

Honestly, it's more hassle than it's worth.

Damn my high sex drive!

1echidna

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I think I'm going to go celibate.

It's is just too much hassle at my age, with joints creaking and fluids everywhere, not to mention getting the marks off the ceiling.

Honestly, it's more hassle than it's worth.

Damn my high sex drive!

As long as its not marks on a number of different ceilings then you won't be targetted by a certain group on this board

purpletoenails

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Just a further comment for the OP, as I see she is still reading...

When I had a (accidental but very timely) confrontation with the OW, from what she said I got the strong impression that my OH had led her to believe that our marriage was in trouble and something of a sham. I believe he did this more by what he didn't tell her than what he did, although one comment ("you're always bloody away") showed that he had given the impression that we hardly communicated. This was quite an eye-opener. He was still being a loving husband in every way towards me (and I wasn't "always bloody away"), and he was horrified that I might consider us splitting up over his emotional fling.

Which bears out earlier points about just because he tells you they have a marriage in name only, it doesn't mean that is actually the case! I think a fly on the wall of the marital home might hear a totally different version of the situation.

No, I appreciate that I only have what he says to me in order to have an idea what their relationship is like. However I do feel that if it was all that fantastic he wouldn't be seeing me in the first place, or do you think that I am wrong to make this assumption?

Lotus-eater

purpletoenails wrote: »

No, I appreciate that I only have what he says to me in order to have an idea what their relationship is like. However I do feel that if it was all that fantastic he wouldn't be seeing me in the first place, or do you think that I am wrong to make this assumption?

I think you are, I'm afraid, very wrong.