Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

candygirl

You are wasting your life, and accepting the crumbs of a relationship in the hope that he will chose you.If you only see each other one every few weeks, and don't have a thrilling sex life, what's the point anyway?It wouldn't surprise me if you're not the only "mistress."

balletshoes

mithuthecat wrote: »

I have a very close friend who is in a similar situation he is married with no children,she is in a relationship with someone,but when you see them together you can see that they really do both love each other,
ok see I don't understand that - she is in a relationship with someone and loves someone else, and they look like they fit - so why is she still with the someone else? doesn't that kill your friend, knowing that she's sleeping with someone else?

I have even said to my friend that one day you will have a ultimation the wife or your girlfriend,he has said he would leave his wife for her,
so why has he not left his wife before this gets worse? let her have a future with someone who really loves her, and is not just tolerating being with her because the one he really loves is not free? isn't that really selfish on his part?

yes its all wrong but he has said,we only live once and this is not a rehersal,yes i agree that even a person who is married can fall in love with somebody else,and its life and it happens every day

you know what, that "we only live once" line is such a glib throwaway thing to say in my opinion. Yes, we do only live once, so do it right as far as you're able - why did he get married in the first place if he didn't think he was going to stay married? I know people fall out of love and break up, but he's not breaking up with anyone, he's most definitely having his cake and eating it isn't he?

pelirocco

Your question was ' can an affair ever have a happy ending'' and course no it cant , either your or his wife arent going to be happy whatever happens

purpletoenails

candygirl wrote: »

You are wasting your life, and accepting the crumbs of a relationship in the hope that he will chose you.If you only see each other one every few weeks, and don't have a thrilling sex life, what's the point anyway?It wouldn't surprise me if you're not the only "mistress."

I'm not hoping anything, I didn't say the sex wasn't thrilling, and I'm completely certain there's no one else. I was simply asking for some opinions because I am trying to decide in my own mind what to do for the best.

smartpicture

I read a study recently which said that if a man is going to leave his wife, he will almost always do it within the first 18 months of starting the affair, after that the odds reduce dramatically.

Of course, whether that equates to the 'happy ending' you were asking about, I couldn't say.

tango

purpletoenails wrote: »

I'm not hoping anything, I didn't say the sex wasn't thrilling, and I'm completely certain there's no one else. I was simply asking for some opinions because I am trying to decide in my own mind what to do for the best.

I think you know,it will be so painful ,akin to coming of drugs but you have to cut all ties. This is a time I suspect the Devil himself is laughing behind your back....

shellsuit

I wouldn't want to be with a man who was sleeping with somebody else, which he will be, his wife!

The times you do have sex, is he using something? I hope to God he is for his wife's sake.

How can you be so sure he doesn't have someone else on the go as well as you? If his wife doesn't know about you, what makes you so sure he's not doing the same to you?

As for 'I know he loves me'. No, you don't.

If he truly loved you, he would end it with his wife and be with you wouldn't he?

Fire_Fox

I can think of three people who had one live-in relationship overlap with another
1. she was with a complete bar-steward, met someone lovely on a work course but nothing happened, met up with him again once afterwards and had moved out by the end of the week
2. she was engaged to be married, he was sleeping in a separate bedroom to the mother of his child, they were childhood sweethearts who met up for coffee via Friends Reunited, both went home and finished with their respective partners immediately. Many years on happily married with children of their own
3. an affair of a few months, she left her partner for him and they subsequently married. Within a year she cheated again and is now married to the man she left him for!

If you've had carnal relations only six times in the two and a half years since you met, you are kidding yourself if you think he is not getting any elsewhere. He is still living with, sleeping next to, married to, spending Christmas and birthdays with someone else - that doesn't exactly meet the criteria of 'over'. How do you know he loves you, because he tells you? He looks the woman he loved enough to marry and stay with for two decades in the eyes and lies about where he has been, what he has done or who he has spoken to. Or maybe you know he loves you because he is physically affectionate? You seriously think he has not hugged, not kissed, not been intimate with nor said 'I love you' to his wife in the last two and a half years? :rotfl:

I'm not trying to make you feel guilty by thinking of his wife, I am trying to make you realise that he is an accomplished liar and talented actor. I cannot think of a single reason to waste another minute of your life on someone who has so little respect for the mother of his children that he would let her wash his sh1tty y-fronts and cheesy socks while showering someone else with affection and compliments. He's cheating on you as much as he is cheating on her.

JoeyG

OP, why do you want someone you can't trust?

Tropez

I know someone who has just left their wife of 25+ years to marry the woman that they've been having an affair with for the past six years. Will it last? Who knows? I'm sure some people will immediately dismiss it as doomed to fail but none of us truly know - maybe he'll be divorced again in 3 months, maybe they'll be together for the rest of their lives.