Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

Errata

purpletoenails wrote: »

I did realise when I typed that, that it would more than likely raise a few laughs

However, that is what I believe. If he was just popping round here for a quickie every time he happened to be passing then I would agree with you, but that's not the case and it's never been like that.

Sounds more like a case of star-crossed lovers, Romeo and Juliet, Anthony and Cleopatra, Cheryl Tweedy and Ashley Cole. A great tragic romance. Enjoy it whilst you can.

1echidna

Good luck to you purpletoenails, stick in there lass.

catkins

1echidna wrote: »

Everybody seems to be trying to up the ante and make this more stressful for the OP. I'm just looking at it in a different way. Why make oneself ill over something that is part of life.

If people do see having an affiar as "just part of life" then I find that very very sad.

I can assure you me and my husband do not see it that way. We both believe there is never ever ever a reason to cheat.

floralaura

You are 42, isn't it about time you got yourself some dignity?

cheepskate_2

I didn't really think I issued an ultimatum as such - I didn't say 'if you don't do xxxxx I'm ending things', it was more a case of please can you let me know exactly where I stand and how he see's his future, do I feature in it, and in what capacity.


What a total walkover you are," please can I have a little crumb from your biscuit"

But then i suppose you have to be otherwise he will just find someone else to whittle away his boredom.

I feel sorry for you really, You are wasting your years, when you could have a decent man who truly loves YOU, for being you, not because hes a bit bored of the wife of 20 something years, as does happen.

How many years are you going to waste and then at the end of it all when you have got fed up of waiting , still be still not have commitment from anybody.

If you do get him, which seems highly unlikely, are you going to have worry about his fidelity. In fact both of you will be as bad as each other as both know what the other is capable of.


I genuinely feel sorry for you as this is not what love is about, sneaking the odd 10hours every week or month.

nickyhutch

Loz01 wrote: »

Wow, read this whole thread though and... :eek: OP, even if he leaves his wife, you will never be 100% certain or trusting of him because you KNOW he's capable of cheating. He's doing it right now, on his poor wife!

I hope she finds out and takes him for half of everything he owns.

I've never understood the "he can cheat once, he can do it again" line. He's cheating on his wife; he's cheating on that one person. That doesn't mean he's going to cheat on every woman he ever has a relationship with.

If you turn it the other way, can we say that a person who has never cheated never will?

nickyhutch

Dave101t wrote: »

any woman who allows herself to be the 'other' woman is living in cloud cuckoo land. cuckoo!

I've been the "other woman" and I'm certainly not in cloud cuckoo land.

gratefulforhelp_2

Purple and nickyhutch I don't think these are absolutes, but someone who had been an adulterer (as opposed to cheating in an unmarried relationship) is more likely to do it again than someone who has never done it is to do it the first time IYSWIM?

Guys, I think you are both deceiving yourselves to a certain extent.

CH27

nickyhutch wrote: »

I've never understood the "he can cheat once, he can do it again" line. He's cheating on his wife; he's cheating on that one person. That doesn't mean he's going to cheat on every woman he ever has a relationship with.

If you turn it the other way, can we say that a person who has never cheated never will?

People who cheat longterm often crave the excitement of the forbidden. Once the mistress becomes the wife they are no longer forbidden & a new mistress is needed.

nickyhutch

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

Purple and nickyhutch I don't think these are absolutes, but someone who had been an adulterer (as opposed to cheating in an unmarried relationship) is more likely to do it again than someone who has never done it is to do it the first time IYSWIM?

Do you have any stats/evidence to back that up?