Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

POPPYOSCAR

Loz01 wrote: »

Wow, read this whole thread though and... :eek: OP, even if he leaves his wife, you will never be 100% certain or trusting of him because you KNOW he's capable of cheating. He's doing it right now, on his poor wife!

I hope she finds out and takes him for half of everything he owns.

Many people are assuming a lot of things. For all anybody knows she could have a 'toy boy' of her own around!


Half of everything he owns? Half of everything they own.

poet123

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

You see to me an 'open marriage' makes a mockery of marriage but that is just MO.

I just think it is too simplistic to say end a marriage if you fall out of love.For some it is easier to keep going for financial reasons or for wanting to be with the children etc. Many people are just not strong enough to go it alone.

I agree, but at least both parties know the score. When one is playing away,for whatever reason, and the other party is ignorant of that fact then that is a bigger crime imo.

POPPYOSCAR

poet123 wrote: »

I agree, but at least both parties know the score. When one is playing away,for whatever reason, and the other party is ignorant of that fact then that is a bigger crime imo.

I do agree up to a point.

I do feel that in some cases the wife/husband might have an idea but would not really want to know and find it easier to carry on that way.(I say this because of a friend of mine that makes me think this).

erdd2

1echidna wrote: »

Why make oneself ill over something that is part of life.

Adultery can cause hurt, pain and illness to innocent parties, so ye why would anyone commiting adultery make themself ill stressing about it...for the same reason they do it....selfish

1echidna

erdd2 wrote: »

Adultery can cause hurt, pain and illness to innocent parties, so ye why would anyone commiting adultery make themself ill stressing about it...for the same reason they do it....selfish

Sounds biblical - real life need not be biblical

Person_one

1echidna wrote: »

Sounds biblical - real life need not be biblical

Erm, lots of words are in the bible, including 'the', 'of' and 'when'.

I think '!!!' and 'Wine' are in there too, have you cracked open tonight's bottle yet?

1echidna

Person_one wrote: »

Erm, lots of words are in the bible, including 'the', 'of' and 'when'.

I think '!!!' and 'Wine' are in there too, have you cracked open tonight's bottle yet?

One bottle of white between three people, so not excessive, thank you. Guest will be gone tomorrow pm so it will be back to one bottle per week approx shared between two. :D;):o

SingleSue

To answer the original question (haven't read through the whole thread, only bits of it), well it ended happily for my now ex husband.....he married the woman he had the affair with.

Didn't end quite so happily for me or the boys though.....

That said, he did try to cheat on her a few months after we had split.....with me! I said no as my morals do not allow me to sleep with another person's partner even if he was still technically my husband.

gratefulforhelp_2

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I have my own moral standards but prefer not to make judgement on others in these circumstances.

This liberal view in so many people has IMHO led to...

poet123 wrote: »

I think in some respects that is why we are where we are with societal decline. Moral standards in certain areas are not subjective.

I was about to say the Bible is all about "life" as below

Person_one wrote: »

Erm, lots of words are in the bible, including 'the', 'of' and 'when'.

I think '!!!' and 'Wine' are in there too, have you cracked open tonight's bottle yet?

Single Sue and may others are the victims of society's failure to disapprove of adulterers.

I'm sure someone has said that the man who marries his mistress creates a vacancy?

Pollycat

When are you planning to meet him next?

The problem with issuing an ultimatum as you have done here:

purpletoenails wrote: »

I told him that I was feeling unsatisfied with the relationship as it stands and that although I do love him, it is no longer enough for me, and while I fully understood the situation he is in, he needs to make a decision one way or another as to whether we have a future together on a more permanent basis.

is that if you don't follow through with it, you have lost your bargaining power and will be viewed as the boy who cried 'Wolf'.

purpletoenails wrote: »

I was with him for about 10 hours, we chatted, had a few beers, food, and walked for miles. The conversation that I had with him lasted around 30-45 minutes as I did not want to spoil the whole day by going round in circles talking about it, nor did I see any benefit to labouring the point once I’d said what I wanted to say.

What does his wife think he's doing when he's actually spending 10 hours with you?

purpletoenails wrote: »

I have asked him to seriously think about this before the next time we meet (and depending on what he has to say, I will decide to hang in there or walk away)

What could he possibly say to you to make you 'hang in there' after you've decided that what you've got with him is no longer enough for you?