Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

1echidna

1echidna wrote: »

Isn't it exciting, she can walk away, leave things as they be or stage a takeover bid.

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Don't see what is so 'exciting' about all this, I find it all quite unfortunate
the position of all parties involved.

Everybody seems to be trying to up the ante and make this more stressful for the OP. I'm just looking at it in a different way. Why make oneself ill over something that is part of life.

poet123

I think in some respects that is why we are where we are with societal decline. Moral standards in certain areas are not subjective.

Adultery is wrong, no if's or buts, simply,...wrong. If you fall out of love with your partner, if you fall in love with someone else, do the decent thing,leave them, then do what you have to. Be honest, don't lie, don't cheat. Being judgmental is not always a negative trait.

POPPYOSCAR

1echidna wrote: »

Everybody seems to be trying to up the ante and make this more stressful for the OP. I'm just looking at it in a different way. Why make oneself ill over something that is part of life.

I agree with you but don't think 'exciting' is appropriate terminology in the circumstances.

POPPYOSCAR

poet123 wrote: »

I think in some respects that is why we are where we are with societal decline. Moral standards in certain areas are not subjective.

Adultery is wrong, no if's or buts, simply,...wrong. If you fall out of love with your partner, if you fall in love with someone else, do the decent thing,leave them, then do what you have to. Be honest, don't lie, don't cheat. Being judgmental is not always a negative trait.

I don't think life is as black and white as that. There are all sorts of marriages and all sorts of reasons that keep people together.

1echidna

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I agree with you but don't think 'exciting' is appropriate terminology in the circumstances.

OK but interested to know what adjective you would use to characterise the situation? I guess 'complicated' is the popular one amongst people trying to be neutral, but I was trying for a different slant.

poet123

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I don't think life is as black and white as that. There are all sorts of marriages and all sorts of reasons that keep people together.

There are, if both parties are in the know and agree, if one is in the dark, things are less equitable.

POPPYOSCAR

poet123 wrote: »

There are, if both parties are in the know and agree, if one is in the dark, things are less equitable.

Yes agreed, so are you saying that if both parties agree to one or other having an affair then that is ok?

poet123

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Yes agreed, so are you saying that if both parties agree to one or other having an affair then that is ok?

Yes, there are "open marriages" for whatever reason, I would imagine they are rare though. For the majority, there are excuses, and if we accept them as valid we devalue marriage. People do fall in and out of love, but, if you are honest, you will finish one relationship before embarking on another.

Loz01

Wow, read this whole thread though and... :eek: OP, even if he leaves his wife, you will never be 100% certain or trusting of him because you KNOW he's capable of cheating. He's doing it right now, on his poor wife!

I hope she finds out and takes him for half of everything he owns.

POPPYOSCAR

poet123 wrote: »

Yes, there are "open marriages" for whatever reason, I would imagine they are rare though. For the majority, there are excuses, and if we accept them as valid we devalue marriage. People do fall in and out of love, but, if you are honest, you will finish one relationship before embarking on another.

You see to me an 'open marriage' makes a mockery of marriage but that is just MO.

I just think it is too simplistic to say end a marriage if you fall out of love.For some it is easier to keep going for financial reasons or for wanting to be with the children etc. Many people are just not strong enough to go it alone.