Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

purpletoenails

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Can I ask what his immediate response was.

Luckyred wrote: »

I wonder what his initial reaction was to the "talk" yesterday. It it had been positive/promising then I think the OP would have mentioned it on here.
I would hazard a guess that he was caught off guard and didnt know what to say. Still.... he now has plenty of time to come up with some reason why he cant leave anytime soon. He will really have to get his thinking cap on this time in order to keep the OP dangling for a few more years.

I didn't really want to put it on here because I felt it would be jumped upon and probably ridiculed, but he did look rather upset and said he couldn't imagine life without me and although he didn't see me as often as he would like, I was a very important part of his life.

**Patty**

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

I can't see it coming to that.

No, to be honest LE, neither can I. I think he'll stay very firmly put. In fact, if pushed, I think he will run screaming back to his wife.

But the OP has a very unbalanced view of what his marriage is like.

erdd2

purpletoenails wrote: »

I certainly do not want to cause unecessary hurt to anyone.

Really? How rare if ever was there an affair that resulted in no one being hurt

rachelhen

I really agree with that last comment Patty. The OP has no idea what is going on. My ex painted a very damning picture of me to all and sundry sadly he is now dead he was actually ill but plausible.

justmel

purpletoenails wrote: »

I didn't really want to put it on here because I felt it would be jumped upon and probably ridiculed, but he did look rather upset and said he couldn't imagine life without me and although he didn't see me as often as he would like, I was a very important part of his life.

He said he couldn't imagine life without you? That says to me that he is fully expecting to live without you and that once you actually decide to walk away he is going to let you go rather than choose you over his wife.

If his gut feeling was a future with you then he wouldn't be imagining living without you he would be saying something more in respect of his plans to leave or his future with you in it.

I think he has already given you his answer,he doesn't neccesarily want to stop seeing you,he would like things to carry on the way they are but he will let you go if it comes down to making the choice.

I just hope you are strong enough to walk away when that time comes,it's like i said before life is far too short to waste it in pursuit of something you are very unlikely to ever have.

erdd2

IMHO, one should completely finish one relationship before moving onto another and those unattached that have a relationship with someone still entangled should wait for the "freebie", gawd what a dreamer I am!

thorsoak

Oh dear Purpletoes - it's not going to go your way, is it?

You say "he did look rather upset and said he couldn't imagine life without me and although he didn't see me as often as he would like, I was a very important part of his life."

"Part" of his life does not mean the whole of his life - it sounds as if he is a person who likes to parcel his life up into sections and keep them apart. Even were he not married, I would not see him being capable of making an exclusive commitment to you.

CH27

purpletoenails wrote: »

I didn't really want to put it on here because I felt it would be jumped upon and probably ridiculed, but he did look rather upset and said he couldn't imagine life without me and although he didn't see me as often as he would like, I was a very important part of his life.

And you still can't see the writing on the wall?

Of course he is upset. You're threatening to upset his nice little apple cart.
He'll have nowhere to get his leg over & !!!!! about his wife until he finds another fool willing to put up with half measures.

I rally do feel sorry for you & think you deserve better.

Emmzi

OP, as far as I am concerned you have made no vows and he is the one in the wrong. I have no patience for "other woman" bashing.

However, if what you want is to be settled, this is not the man for you.

The best indicator of future behaviour is past behaviour.

Stop pining for him. You know you deserve better. And stop waiting for him to end it. Just get on with it, go for a spa day, go out with the girls, and get some self esteem back. Moping over men? Never, ever worth it.

catkins

purpletoenails wrote: »

I was fully expecting the amount of criticism I have recieved on here and I have, despite what you may think, taken notice of what has been said to me. I would never have said what I said to him yesterday if I'd not posed this question. I do apologise if I sound unemotional and uncaring, I'm not, I'm trying to keep a lid on things really. I certainly do not want anyone to feel sorry for me, I got into this muddle and I need to get myself out of it, one way or another.

You know how to get out of it - shame you ever got into it in the first place. Just have some morals and end it