Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

Ally

purpletoenails wrote: »

Okay here’s what happened yesterday. I’m not sure if I did the ‘right’ thing, or whether the majority of posters on here will approve, but what’s done is done and I will now have to see what happens next.

I was with him for about 10 hours, we chatted, had a few beers, food, and walked for miles. The conversation that I had with him lasted around 30-45 minutes as I did not want to spoil the whole day by going round in circles talking about it, nor did I see any benefit to labouring the point once I’d said what I wanted to say.

I told him that I was feeling unsatisfied with the relationship as it stands and that although I do love him, it is no longer enough for me, and while I fully understood the situation he is in, he needs to make a decision one way or another as to whether we have a future together on a more permanent basis. I have asked him to seriously think about this before the next time we meet (and depending on what he has to say, I will decide to hang in there or walk away) He is due to go away on his holidays shortly afterwards so I think that if the decision is to end things, it will be easier to stick to knowing that it will be very difficult to contact each other for several weeks.

I know this probably wasn’t what some people hoped would happen, but I didn’t want to put him on the spot to try and get an immediate answer.

I think you handled that well ... if you had spent an age discussing it, your message would have got lost amongst too many words ... if that makes sense?

POPPYOSCAR

purpletoenails wrote: »

Okay here’s what happened yesterday. I’m not sure if I did the ‘right’ thing, or whether the majority of posters on here will approve, but what’s done is done and I will now have to see what happens next.

I was with him for about 10 hours, we chatted, had a few beers, food, and walked for miles. The conversation that I had with him lasted around 30-45 minutes as I did not want to spoil the whole day by going round in circles talking about it, nor did I see any benefit to labouring the point once I’d said what I wanted to say.

I told him that I was feeling unsatisfied with the relationship as it stands and that although I do love him, it is no longer enough for me, and while I fully understood the situation he is in, he needs to make a decision one way or another as to whether we have a future together on a more permanent basis. I have asked him to seriously think about this before the next time we meet (and depending on what he has to say, I will decide to hang in there or walk away) He is due to go away on his holidays shortly afterwards so I think that if the decision is to end things, it will be easier to stick to knowing that it will be very difficult to contact each other for several weeks.

I know this probably wasn’t what some people hoped would happen, but I didn’t want to put him on the spot to try and get an immediate answer.

Can I ask what his immediate response was.

paddy's_mum

purpletoenails wrote: »

He is due to go away on his holidays shortly

What!!

With you or with that awful leech of a woman who is only in it for the money, because she is a bloodsucker who drags him down, who does nothing for him, who is the cause of all this unhappiness ?

Oh .. I forgot, sorry - you've never met her, know absolutely nothing about her except what he's told you... even lowly magistrates courts would dismiss that evidence as irrefutably biased.

Why, then, is he so afraid of her?

HIS holidays ...? or theirs because he is doing everything to avoid rocking the happy boat he's enjoyed for the last couple of years.

I'm sorry for you and I understand far, far more than you will ever admit to ...but now I'm outta here. Call me when he dumps on you in favour of safety with the woman who holds all the cards.

kazmc

I think we are all banging our heads against a brick wall here.
The OP is NOT in a million years going to listen to what any one of us has to say and I dont really understand why she put a question on here in the first place if she so obviously knew the answer already.
I think she was looking for acceptance that what she was doing was ok seeing as they are 'so in love'
Purpletoesnails ..... you were'nt quite expecting the flaming you have received were you??
You are boring me now with your arrogant and insensitive replies... bye

plumpmouse

kazmc wrote: »

I think we are all banging our heads against a brick wall here.
The OP is NOT in a million years going to listen to what any one of us has to say and I dont really understand why she put a question on here in the first place if she so obviously knew the answer already.
I think she was looking for acceptance that what she was doing was ok seeing as they are 'so in love'
Purpletoesnails ..... you were'nt quite expecting the flaming you have received were you??
You are boring me now with your arrogant and insensitive replies... bye

I would have to agree. I think she was looking for people to say he's obviously unhappy with her and loves you etc.

I also don't think she was expecting the responses she has got.

I did think she came across as well as she could to begin with but the more this thread has developed the more her attitude has really irritated me.

I really hope you see through your threat of leaving because I really think he will "forget" your brief conversation and carry on as normal! Sadly I also think you may well "forget" the conversation too when the time comes.

Luckyred

I wonder what his initial reaction was to the "talk" yesterday. It it had been positive/promising then I think the OP would have mentioned it on here.
I would hazard a guess that he was caught off guard and didnt know what to say. Still.... he now has plenty of time to come up with some reason why he cant leave anytime soon. He will really have to get his thinking cap on this time in order to keep the OP dangling for a few more years.

purpletoenails

kazmc wrote: »

I think we are all banging our heads against a brick wall here.
The OP is NOT in a million years going to listen to what any one of us has to say and I dont really understand why she put a question on here in the first place if she so obviously knew the answer already.
I think she was looking for acceptance that what she was doing was ok seeing as they are 'so in love'
Purpletoesnails ..... you were'nt quite expecting the flaming you have received were you??
You are boring me now with your arrogant and insensitive replies... bye

plumpmouse wrote: »

I would have to agree. I think she was looking for people to say he's obviously unhappy with her and loves you etc.

I also don't think she was expecting the responses she has got.

I did think she came across as well as she could to begin with but the more this thread has developed the more her attitude has really irritated me.

I really hope you see through your threat of leaving because I really think he will "forget" your brief conversation and carry on as normal! Sadly I also think you may well "forget" the conversation too when the time comes.

I was fully expecting the amount of criticism I have recieved on here and I have, despite what you may think, taken notice of what has been said to me. I would never have said what I said to him yesterday if I'd not posed this question. I do apologise if I sound unemotional and uncaring, I'm not, I'm trying to keep a lid on things really. I certainly do not want anyone to feel sorry for me, I got into this muddle and I need to get myself out of it, one way or another.

**Patty**

Speaking as someone who helped her (now ex) husband build his career......who went out to work to support the family home through the lean times.....who did the work of an unpaid secretary whilst he worked & i brought up children......who managed to run the house, bring up the children & do all the decorating as he couldn't possibly take time off work......

And to stand there when the business took off expecting finally to be able to enjoy some of the fruitbowl......

Only to be told i had 7 days to leave as his Girlfriend was moving in & didn't wish to share the house with me & the children......



I hope his wife bleeds him dry :cool:

Gillyx

**Patty** wrote: »

I hope his wife bleeds him dry :cool:

:rotfl: my thoughts exactly.

Lunar_Eclipse

**Patty** wrote: »

I hope his wife bleeds him dry :cool:

I can't see it coming to that.