Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

VestanPance

purpletoenails wrote: »

I have felt more than once that I have been heaped with more than my fair share of blame for the affair happening, or 'letting' the affair happen and continue, or for trying to lure him away. I also think that some posters feel that I am responsible for his families happiness, that somehow if I disappear, all will be hunkydory for him again. I have also been called derogatory names on more than once occasion. But I understand that this is how other people percieve the situation and are commenting on the few facts that I have been able to give. To be fair there have also been a lot of comments on his character, some I feel overly harsh, but again, nobody knows him in real life (as far as I'm aware!) so people are just commenting based on what they have read on this thread [/QUOTE]

That's because you post here, he doesn't. People blame you both, but they can only tell you to stop being selfish and not destroy a family unit. We could say that to him, but he isn't here to read it.

It's hardly brain surgery to consider your own actions and how they affect others. It's easy to comment on his character as actions speak louder than words.

whitewing

I think that women who sleep around are worse than men who sleep around, but only because I think it is harder for women to cut the emotion out of it.

I also think that ptn is not getting blamed more than the twit she is having an affair with. I would certainly say the same things to him as to her. In fact I would love him to come onto the thread so we can post to both of them.

euronorris

purpletoenails wrote: »

I also think that some posters feel that I am responsible for his families happiness, that somehow if I disappear, all will be hunkydory for him again.

No, I don't. Can't speak for anyone else.

However....you DO have the power to remove yourself from the equation, thus increasing the chances of him either reconciling the differences with his wife, or ending the marriage, leaving him free to commit to a new relationship.

And certainly, your presence in the equation is not helping matters.

VestanPance

whitewing wrote: »

I think that women who sleep around are worse than men who sleep around, but only because I think it is harder for women to cut the emotion out of it.

I disagree with that. I think that depends on the person, rather than gender. I've met women with the same attitude to sex and a horny teenage boy, as in it's just sex and nothing more.

I don't see a problem with that as long as people are open and honest in what they are looking for. Sleeping around is only an issue if you're cheating on someone while doing it, or deceiving people that you are looking for a relationship when all you want is some sort of intimate encounter.

euronorris

VestanPance wrote: »

I disagree with that. I think that depends on the person, rather than gender. I've met women with the same attitude to sex and a horny teenage boy, as in it's just sex and nothing more.

I don't see a problem with that as long as people are open and honest in what they are looking for. Sleeping around is only an issue if you're cheating on someone while doing it, or deceiving people that you are looking for a relationship when all you want is some sort of intimate encounter.

Or not wearing condoms, thus not ensuring the physical health of both you and your sexual partners.

victory

whitewing wrote: »

I think that women who sleep around are worse than men who sleep around, but only because I think it is harder for women to cut the emotion out of it.

I also think that ptn is not getting blamed more than the twit she is having an affair with. I would certainly say the same things to him as to her. In fact I would love him to come onto the thread so we can post to both of them.

Who says he isn't on?;)

POPPYOSCAR

whitewing wrote: »

I think that women who sleep around are worse than men who sleep around, but only because I think it is harder for women to cut the emotion out of it.

I also think that ptn is not getting blamed more than the twit she is having an affair with. I would certainly say the same things to him as to her. In fact I would love him to come onto the thread so we can post to both of them.

And that makes a difference how exactly? its all the same to me.

victory

You mean women with children or just women?

POPPYOSCAR

victory wrote: »

You mean women with children or just women?

Does it make a difference? As long as the children are not exposed to a parade of lovers walking in and out the house, I can see no relevance.

victory

No I meant emotionally is there less ties with the women with the children versus the women without?