Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

FatVonD

Lotus-eater wrote: »

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Umm, looks all right to me.

That's because you make the same mistake too but we're all too polite to point it out

VestanPance

FatVonD wrote: »

I think the thing that makes a difference to me is whether the woman is in control or allowing herself to be used (which is then sad rather than a reason for name calling.) I too probably had more than the 'socially acceptable' number of sexual partners in my youth but nobody ever coerced me into anything, I was always very much in control and it was me that did the choosing.

That's an interesting comment. Do you think some women allow themselves to be used as such? That would imply they really don't want to do it.

The closest I can think to that was one lady I knew who had obvious self esteem/confidence issues. It was sad to see but she really did seem to validate her self worth through getting male attraction, and would go crazy if her attempts to gather attention didn't work. I always thought there must be some mental/trauma issue involved, as to look at her many would have said she had it all. She was young, attractive, well educated and doing very well in her career. All of that seemed to count for nothing with her though unless she had a new man to chase or have fawning over her every other day. She also wasn't remotely fussy, just being male was the basic requirement. I found it sad to watch, as she was clearly unhappy and more than a touch crazy at times but watching it was completely self inflicted.

gratefulforhelp_2

Welshwoofs wrote: »

That's not the answer; you don't apply an apostrophe to a plural unless you're going to indicate possession of something e.g. The children's shoes.

Lotus-eater finished in mid-sentence for some reason; I was simply curious what the rest of it was going to be *shrug*

I don't need a lesson in punctuation, when I said the apostrophe was for free, I was trying (and clearly failing) to hint to you that it was not needed.

I'm glad I've met someone as pedantic as me, though.

euronorris wrote: »

Or not wearing condoms, thus not ensuring the physical health of both you and your sexual partners.

Not ensuring necessarily...

euronorris

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

Not ensuring necessarily...

Well, as best you can with regards to sexual health. Barring abstinence of course.

gratefulforhelp_2

euronorris wrote: »

Well, as best you can with regards to sexual health. Barring abstinence of course.

Of course

lostinrates

FatVonD wrote: »

nobody ever coerced me into anything, I was always very much in control and it was me that did the choosing.

I wish I could say the same. I in no way want to apportion ''blame'' anywhere other than myself, but I do feel that there was....and is in some environments, a subtle ''more is better'' message....not just in sex but in all things. I enjoy sex, and I take full responsibility for all my actions....but I think also I must reluctantly admit now I'm a few years away from then, that my choices were made poorly, perhaps even falsely at times.

essexgirly

Hi PTN, hope your well. Well as you can see, this thread has everybody talking! Different opinions make it an interesting subject! Was just wondering how yesterday went for you.

I believe you have turned into a "bit of a celebrity" (very tongue in cheek) cos we are all waiting for your next appearance.........

purpletoenails

Okay here is my update. I tried to post one earlier but by the time I’d finished I’d been logged out so I’ll try and type quicker this time.

We met yesterday, I was excited to be seeing him, but obviously nervous of the conversation we would be having. We talked about our relationship and how it was going, and I told him that although he made me happy, I was not happy with the situation in general and that it wasn’t fair to anyone. He said he could not imagine a future without me but at present, with circumstances as they are, he could not make me any immediate promises. I felt his reasons were genuine and understandable and not just excuses. So based on that we decided (and this was a wrench for us both) that the relationship could not continue as it had been. That is not to say that we can not pick it up again sometime in the future if he becomes free to do so.

So that was it really, no big dramas and no big or shocking news I'm afraid

whitewing

Thank you for updating us. I am sure it would have been easier not to. Well done on making a very painful decision.

thorsoak

A painful decision to make, PTN. You must be feeling sad at having to make it {{hugs}}. Thank you for telling us.