Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

lostinrates

PTn, I'm very glad it all went without drama. I hope you find it easier this time to move forward and hope life brings you something really good very soon and that this sadness fades swiftly.

Elle7

I hope that the feeling that you are doing the right thing and that his family will benefit from this will help make it less painful for you - if he isn't ready to cut ties, maybe something can be salvaged.

It also prevents you from suffering any more heartache, and leaves you open to find the man who will really make you happy, and who will be exclusively yours.

Good luck, I hope it works out well for you.

deb68_2

purpletoenails wrote: »

Okay here is my update. I tried to post one earlier but by the time I’d finished I’d been logged out so I’ll try and type quicker this time.

We met yesterday, I was excited to be seeing him, but obviously nervous of the conversation we would be having. We talked about our relationship and how it was going, and I told him that although he made me happy, I was not happy with the situation in general and that it wasn’t fair to anyone. He said he could not imagine a future without me but at present, with circumstances as they are, he could not make me any immediate promises. I felt his reasons were genuine and understandable and not just excuses. So based on that we decided (and this was a wrench for us both) that the relationship could not continue as it had been. That is not to say that we can not pick it up again sometime in the future if he becomes free to do so.

So that was it really, no big dramas and no big or shocking news I'm afraid

A very hard time for you that talk,but you deserve better someone that will go for walks with you take you out for the day/night someone to curl up to on the sofa
hold your head up ptn an smile

debxx

Welshwoofs

purpletoenails wrote: »

So that was it really, no big dramas and no big or shocking news I'm afraid

I'm sure there must be a certain amount of relief that things have been talked through and you both know where you stand?

I wish you the best of luck PTN; whether it's eventually with this chap or someone new.

mountainofdebt

PTN

Obviously I wasn't there when you had the conversation but strikes me as sad that you've made the comment that if he becomes free then there's a chance that you both will resume the relationship.

This sort of implies that you'll be there waiting for that day to happen.

I seriously wish that you won't be but wonder what you would do if he did come back into your life only to find you're now in a relationship.

northerner77

purpletoenails wrote: »

He said he could not imagine a future without me but at present, with circumstances as they are, he could not make me any immediate promises. I felt his reasons were genuine and understandable and not just excuses. So based on that we decided (and this was a wrench for us both) that the relationship could not continue as it had been. That is not to say that we can not pick it up again sometime in the future if he becomes free to do so.

No immediate promises you say? What kind of 'promises' has he made and kept so far? He does understand the meaning of the word 'promise'?

"That is not to say that we can not pick it up again sometime in the future if he becomes free to do so." - What a surprise to read that.

peachyprice

Welshwoofs wrote: »

there almost seems to be a mentality that men are poor, helpless creatures who get sucked in by calculating women who seems to possess the powers of Sirens. ..

Ironically isn't that exactly what the OP on another thread believes happened to her poor OH?

peachyprice

purpletoenails wrote: »

Okay here is my update. I tried to post one earlier but by the time I’d finished I’d been logged out so I’ll try and type quicker this time.

We met yesterday, I was excited to be seeing him, but obviously nervous of the conversation we would be having. We talked about our relationship and how it was going, and I told him that although he made me happy, I was not happy with the situation in general and that it wasn’t fair to anyone. He said he could not imagine a future without me but at present, with circumstances as they are, he could not make me any immediate promises. I felt his reasons were genuine and understandable and not just excuses. So based on that we decided (and this was a wrench for us both) that the relationship could not continue as it had been. That is not to say that we can not pick it up again sometime in the future if he becomes free to do so.

So that was it really, no big dramas and no big or shocking news I'm afraid

How do you feel about that? Do you think you can now go forward with your own life without him in it, or do you feel that you will always be waiting for 'the call'?

purpletoenails

mountainofdebt wrote: »

PTN

Obviously I wasn't there when you had the conversation but strikes me as sad that you've made the comment that if he becomes free then there's a chance that you both will resume the relationship.

This sort of implies that you'll be there waiting for that day to happen. I shall be getting on with my life without him in it.

I seriously wish that you won't be but wonder what you would do if he did come back into your life only to find you're now in a relationship.

northerner77 wrote: »

No immediate promises you say? What kind of 'promises' has he made and kept so far? He does understand the meaning of the word 'promise'? Yes he does, which is why he won't make any that he can't keep.

"That is not to say that we can not pick it up again sometime in the future if he becomes free to do so." - What a surprise to read that.

Not really a surprise. If he becomes single in 6 months time and wants to try again, then I would be more than happy to, providing I'm not in a serious relationship with someone else.

northerner77

purpletoenails wrote: »

Not really a surprise. If he becomes single in 6 months time and wants to try again, then I would be more than happy to, providing I'm not in a serious relationship with someone else.

I was being ironic, losing patience with the geezer's behaviour even though I've never met him and it's none of my business. Glad I'm not your brother, PTN.