Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

Marisco

basketcase wrote: »

But, I think what whitewing is asking is if she did find out that way, how would you feel?

Well, unless PTN is unusual, probably relief that things are out in the open!

gratefulforhelp_2

Person_one wrote: »

Don't you remember all those 'Team Aniston' T shirts? I think she was heartily condemned, much more than him if I recall.

I don't actually fancy Brad Pitt, being a cheat takes away any appeal, but couldn't think of anyone else on the spot!

No I don't remember, but interesting to get another view.

VestanPance wrote: »

I don't need to. Your attitude to taking part in the destruction of relationships and families is clear for all to see. That and you see having morals as a character flaw.

:T:T:T:T:T:T:T

whitewing wrote: »

I think ptn is generally a nice person, but I would still very much struggle to be friends with her in real life because she thinks it is okay to be involved with a married man, and I don't, especially because it has gone on so long. I believe more in 'love' as a verb than something you have no control over.

:T:T:T:T:T:T:T

Welshwoofs

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

Of course your friend chose it!

She did, yes. But what I'm saying is that nobody would enter an affair with the thought that 'well i'll spend years sitting around waiting for this guy and then it'll fizzle out' just as nobody tends to go into a relationship with a single person with the thought that 'it'll be good for a few years and then he'll probably cheat on me and it'll all end in tears'.

Human nature dictates that when we enter a relationship we think it's all going to end well...otherwise we wouldn't enter it in the first place.

Once you're into a relationship, and presuming you've fallen in love with that person, it's increasingly hard to call an end to it if it's not going the way you want. You tend to think that it'll change if you wait just a bit longer or work just a bit harder....and that's not always the case. That goes for bad marriages and people in affairs alike.

I very much doubt PTN entered into this with the belief she'd still be in the same position over 2 years down the line, just as my friend didn't think she'd be in the same position 7 years down the line.

In other words, these women put themselves through their own special kind of torture and sometimes for nowt. That doesn't really dovetail terribly well with this rather blinkered view that they're heartless, uncaring, calculating biatches. They're simply human and not a single bloody one of us are perfect (much as some on this thread would appear to think they are).

euronorris

Welshwoofs wrote: »

You're assuming the wife is a) happy now and b) would be unhappy if she found her husband was straying. Again; you don't know that. Nobody knows that, not even PTN.

In the absence of evidence, you can only go by the more likely option which is that the wife is happy, or at the very least would be very unhappy upon discovering the affair.

VestanPance

Simple way to avoid that. Don't enter a relationship with someone already in a relationship.

whitewing

basketcase wrote: »

But, I think what whitewing is asking is if she did find out that way, how would you feel?

It was partly that, and partly I genuinely wondered if ptn felt that hers and her lover's relationship was special and private - would she actually feel violated at the thought of the wife reading it?

euronorris

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I think they were, but at the same time I don't recall much negativity directed towards Ms Jolie and/ or Mr Pitt.

There wasn't so much aimed towards him, but there was quite a bit of negativity towards her.

There were the team aniston t-shirts, as well as a quite a bit of bad press about Angelina being a man stealer and marriage wrecker.

But, it never got that bad because a) Aniston refused to comment on the rumours of an affair for a long, long time and b) Both Pitt and Jolie denied an affair completely. So, it was all speculation at the time.

I *think*, could be wrong here, that the affair has recently been admitted to, but by then the public had, seemingly, stopped caring.

euronorris

Welshwoofs wrote: »

In other words, these women put themselves through their own special kind of torture and sometimes for nowt. That doesn't really dovetail terribly well with this rather blinkered view that they're heartless, uncaring, calculating biatches. They're simply human and not a single bloody one of us are perfect (much as some on this thread would appear to think they are).

Sorry, but they can't care much about the hurt and damage they will cause to a marriage and the kids (where involved), if they are willing to enter into a relationship with a married man in the first place.

I have no sympathy for someone who does that, and then finds that they aren't as special as the married person would have them believe at the start. They're adults, they know their is a marriage (and possibly kids) involved, and yet they choose to start the relationship anyway.

Yes, sometimes it can all work out well, but it is much, much, much more likely that it will all end in tears for all involved.

And no, I don't think I'm perfect. I know I'm not. But I do know that I would never start a relationship with a man who was already in a relationship (married or otherwise). I don't see how knowing I wouldn't do that, equates to me thinking that I'm perfect. Is this the only aspect to someone's personality all of a sudden?

FatVonD

I've never been attracted to classically 'good looking' (hate that term) men but even I'd make an exception for Johnny Depp

FatVonD

PS I've a fairly good inbuilt ignore function but the other one certainly helps the flow of a thread sometimes