Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

whitewing

I think ptn is generally a nice person, but I would still very much struggle to be friends with her in real life because she thinks it is okay to be involved with a married man, and I don't, especially because it has gone on so long. I believe more in 'love' as a verb than something you have no control over.

Wickedkitten

Welshwoofs wrote: »

You're assuming the wife is a) happy now and b) would be unhappy if she found her husband was straying. Again; you don't know that. Nobody knows that, not even PTN.

That's why there's really no point judging - she came for advice, not judgement.

Personally I have no advice for her other than to think very hard about how much of her life she want's to give to waiting for this guy to make a move and whether or not she'd be happier with someone else who has less baggage and more time for her.

Did you miss where PTN said that the bloke told her that if his wife found out that he had been cheating on her then the marriage would be over?

Welshwoofs

Wickedkitten wrote: »

Did you miss where PTN said that the bloke told her that if his wife found out that he had been cheating on her then the marriage would be over?

I did miss it (I've not read every post), but it doesn't really say anything about the state of the marriage other than, if the 'game were up', either he or his wife would instigate a break-up.

If it's a case that the marriage would be over if the affair became open knowledge, I'd say there's even less reason for venom to be poured on to PTN because she holds the power to blow the situation wide open and hasten the demise of that marriage. She's not done that; presumably because she feels that it's his marriage and what happens in the future is his choice/responsibility.

whitewing

I don't think that people here should refrain from posting an opinion in case it triggers ptn to tell the world about the affair. As we have said all along ptn is responsible for her own shoddy actions. I am sure she can step away from a post and think before she acts. That said there are ways of making a point without being rude.

Lotus-eater

Welshwoofs wrote: »

I did miss it (I've not read every post), but it doesn't really say anything about the state of the marriage other than, if the 'game were up', either he or his wife would instigate a break-up.

If it's a case that the marriage would be over if the affair became open knowledge, I'd say there's even less reason for venom to be poured on to PTN because she holds the power to blow the situation wide open and hasten the demise of that marriage. She's not done that; presumably because she feels that it's his marriage and what happens in the future is his choice/responsibility.

Honestly....... I'm taking into account the general state of someone in these circumstances, you are looking at individual things which may be true. In the general state of affairs, I am right, in certain circumstances, you are right.
The chances of you being right are substantially smaller than mine. Odds.
PTN's wouldn't want to tell the wife anyway, as I bet that would mean her bloke got a massive hump with her and it would be over anyway. Whether she wanted to or not, I suspect she's clever enough to know this is a real possibility.

northerner77

Let's be civil to PTN who has been courteous to all posters on here despite all.

neverdespairgirl

Welshwoofs wrote: »

I know from a dear friend of mine who had an affair with a married man for 7 years (which ended without him leaving) that no woman would choose to place herself in that position; giving that amount of time to a man who they see for snapshots of time, who's never there for Christmas and birthdays, who cannot drop everything to be by her side if emergency strikes.

Of course your friend chose it!

basketcase

purpletoenails wrote: »

Sorry! I would rather she didn't find out that way.

But, I think what whitewing is asking is if she did find out that way, how would you feel?

gratefulforhelp_2

nickyhutch wrote: »

Are you talking about me, there?

Yes Miss, though not when referring to Brad;)

FatVonD wrote: »

I think most people's sympathies were with Jennifer Anniston though, weren't they?

Yep.

nickyhutch wrote: »

I don't think it will ever be a problem; I've never fancied Brad Pitt.

ETA and I'm pretty sure I'm not his type!

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:NOT sarcastic at all, but laughing-at-your-joke smilies.

euronorris

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I know what you mean. I have never understood what all the fuss is about either.

Now Johnny Depp I can understand.

I never used to like Brad Pitt, but as I'm getting older (and so is he), I'm finding him more attractive.

I think he was too clean cut for me before.

Johnny Depp - Funny guy, good actor, but I don't think he's attractive at all. Each to their own.