Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

POPPYOSCAR

Emmzi wrote: »

I have no idea why PTN is still here. She has now had every opinion in the world, but has decided on her course of action. This feels like picking over the bones of a long dead thing.

I do not agree. This situation is ongoing.

Most of us think the OP should end this affair, and some of us do not stop at the first hurdle, or indeed, the second or third.

snooks157

Your partner might not want to leave his wife because he doesnt want to hurt her, if shes done nothing wrong, and would you still love him if he could hurt someone so much. You must come to terms with the fact that you are his mistress and dont forget he is the one under stress living a double life. If you love him you'll give him the support he needs, but if you cant stand the heat get out of the kitchen, you'll just have to decide how much you love him

Pollycat

The quote below is from vickylouise87 yesterday (post#4046)

You sound like you have some brains in between your ears, so I think it's safe to assume that you are aware that what you are doing would destroy an innocent women if she found out. But it is blindingly obvious you don't care about her. When you ask the question 'Will it have a happy ending?', you're not referring to his wife or children - you're talking about you! Poor, poor you.

The quote below is from PTN yesterday (post#4053):

I'm not actually destroying anyone, seeing as I don;t know his wife, have never met her, and have no feelings towards her one way or the other.

That is the most deluded comment I've ever read.

So PTN is saying:
"Because I don't personally know the wife of the bloke I'm having a long-term affair with, I'm not destroying anyone?"

Oh well, that's all right then, PTN.
When/if she finds out, you can sleep comfortably at night knowing you 'didn't destroy anyone'.

What a totally selfish way to (try to) justify this affair.

Emmzi

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

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I do not agree. This situation is ongoing.

Most of us think the OP should end this affair, and some of us do not stop at the first hurdle, or indeed, the second or third.

Really? I think PTN is just poking us with sticks. She has no intention of ending it. She gave it a go, she seems to be defending her position now more than considering her future. I don't know why she is still here unless it's boredom, but I'm willing to be enlightened! It cannot possibly be for more opinions because she has had all the opinions there are!

Welshwoofs

Pollycat wrote: »

Oh well, that's all right then, PTN.
When/if she finds out, you can sleep comfortably at night knowing you 'didn't destroy anyone'.

What a totally selfish way to (try to) justify this affair.

The happiness of the wife is not PTN's responsibility, it's her own. If the husband chooses to stray that's entirely HIS responsibility, nobody else's.

I'd also say that speculating about the state of someone's relationship and whether a wife would be 'destroyed' if she found out her husband was straying is completely pointless and entirely based in fantasy. NOBODY here knows what it's like in that relationship but the husband/wife involved and automatically painting the wife as a 'poor innocent' and PTN as a 'heartless, home wrecker' is the lazy thinking of the small minded who simply want to project their own fears and insecurities on to someone else.

CH27

Emmzi wrote: »

Really? I think PTN is just poking us with sticks. She has no intention of ending it. She gave it a go, she seems to be defending her position now more than considering her future. I don't know why she is still here unless it's boredom, but I'm willing to be enlightened! It cannot possibly be for more opinions because she has had all the opinions there are!

The attention?

gratefulforhelp_2

an9i77 wrote: »

PTN did not make any vows to the wife did she. Whilst I don't agree with what she's doing (more because I think she is selling herself short) let's not forget that HE is the one who is lying to his wife all the time, has made a vow to his wife that means nothing etc. So why all the blame for PTN and not for the man?

You haven't read all the posts commenting on the MM, clearly.

grey_lady wrote: »

I don't see why people should be encouraged to stay in unhappy marriages, fear perhaps.

Vows, perhaps?

welshwoofs you are barking.

Emmzi

CH27 wrote: »

The attention?

Sadly I think you are right.

POPPYOSCAR

Emmzi wrote: »

Really? I think PTN is just poking us with sticks. She has no intention of ending it. She gave it a go, she seems to be defending her position now more than considering her future. I don't know why she is still here unless it's boredom, but I'm willing to be enlightened! It cannot possibly be for more opinions because she has had all the opinions there are!

Why does it matter why she is still here? Everyone is entitled to be here are they not.

Just because she is not 'doing as she is told' is not a reason for her to go away!

Emmzi

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Why does it matter why she is still here? Everyone is entitled to be here are they not.

Just because she is not 'doing as she is told' is not a reason for her to go away!

But it's fair enough to ask questions isn't it? I genuinely do not understand what a rational person would be getting out of continuing this discussion. It is one school of thought versus another and they are not going to meet.

You may believe they will, and she will "see the light", and good luck in that crusade.