Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

jayII

I could never imagine deliberately hurting anyone, but I can't say I'd be sorry to see a cheating ex get their come uppance.

Unless there was a very good reason for it, a cheating partner would be invited to walk far away from me, quickly and permanently.

As for fighting for someone who cheats without good reason? Why? How could you ever trust them again?

Bubby

jayII wrote: »

I could never imagine deliberately hurting anyone, but I can't say I'd be sorry to see a cheating ex get their come uppance.

Unless there was a very good reason for it, a cheating partner would be invited to walk far away from me, quickly and permanently.

As for fighting for someone who cheats without good reason? Why? How could you ever trust them again?

I totally agree with this part

POPPYOSCAR

Bubby wrote: »

I totally agree with this part

Yes, I do as well.

Wickedkitten

jayII wrote: »

I could never imagine deliberately hurting anyone, but I can't say I'd be sorry to see a cheating ex get their come uppance.

Unless there was a very good reason for it, a cheating partner would be invited to walk far away from me, quickly and permanently.

As for fighting for someone who cheats without good reason? Why? How could you ever trust them again?

There was a woman in another thread not that long ago that said she took her husband back, but she would never trust him again, didn't love him, and couldn't even stand looking at him, but I guess she got him back just so the other woman didn't end up with him.

Pyrrhic victory if I've ever seen one.

euronorris

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I think you're a better person than me. I wouldn't seek to give hurt to someone, but would get satisfaction when it went wrong by itself.

I thought I would too. But, by the time that happened I had moved on significantly so all I felt was sad. Sad that it had taken him so long to realise the mistakes he had made, and that he was in control of his life and was, sadly, making quite a mess of it.

And for him now, there's a child involved, which makes it even sadder.

When I was last in the UK, I bumped into a mutual acquaintance and was told that he's also taken to shoplifting now That makes me even more sad. He has/had the potential to be so much more, and to build the life he actually wanted, but for one reason or another he hasn't.

Oh well, at least he taught me that you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped and isn't willing to try. It has to come from them.

POPPYOSCAR

Wickedkitten wrote: »

There was a woman in another thread not that long ago that said she took her husband back, but she would never trust him again, didn't love him, and couldn't even stand looking at him, but I guess she got him back just so the other woman didn't end up with him.

Pyrrhic victory if I've ever seen one.

I agree.

Just what is the point of that, exactly. Nothing would have me waking up every morning next to someone I despised. I find it hard to believe that she no longer loved him. Why would you live your life like that? Surely guaranteed to send him into the arms of another women eventually anyway. Madness IMO.

Pollycat

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I agree.

Just what is the point of that, exactly. Nothing would have me waking up every morning next to someone I despised. I find it hard to believe that she no longer loved him. Why would you live your life like that? Surely guaranteed to send him into the arms of another women eventually anyway. Madness IMO.

Maybe she just posted that to save face on here.

I don't know if it was her thread or she just posted on someone else's, perhaps she thought it made her sound a stronger woman.

I'd rather think of her being happy (or as happy as you can be in that situation) that her OH had chosen to be with her instead of the OW than ruining the rest of her life by staying with someone she didn't want to be with, just so that somebody else couldn't have him or to ruin his life too.

lostinrates

I just thought i'd add I've been advised to mark ''my'' hedgehogs with nail varnish....its a no brainer really to mark one of them in purple in honor of PTN's thread.

Lotus-eater

lostinrates wrote: »

I just thought i'd add I've been advised to mark ''my'' hedgehogs with nail varnish....its a no brainer really to mark one of them in purple in honor of PTN's thread.

See if it changes it's behaviour.

whitewing

Wickedkitten wrote: »

There was a woman in another thread not that long ago that said she took her husband back, but she would never trust him again, didn't love him, and couldn't even stand looking at him, but I guess she got him back just so the other woman didn't end up with him.

Pyrrhic victory if I've ever seen one.

I think that may have been earlier in this thread. I think it was by someone who was still very hurt by all that had happened, and who maybe didn't want to go as far as ending her marriage at that point (I think they must have had children). I know there was a big element of not wanting the other woman to have him, but I also got the impression it was still pretty early days for her. I felt that she was just giving herself breathing space but ensuring he was behaving himself until she had actually worked out what she wanted long term.