Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

purpletoenails

Antimony wrote: »

This is ambiguous - does he mean if his wife found out then she'd throw him out/end it? OR does he mean it would be the 'excuse'/lever he would need to walk out..?

Your guess is as good as mine! Could be either of those things.

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Your self esteem thing is worrying, when this is all over, you are going to look back and do the fist in the mouth bit.

Not quite sure what you mean by this, sounds painful though.

ma_belle_2

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I can understand to a certain extent(although not condoning it) someone having an affair, being in love and expecting to be with that person ultimately. But I have no such understanding for this kind of situation.

What would happen if you were to be found out?

It's like an addiction I suppose. We both know it is wrong and will ultimately end up with someone getting hurt, but at the time it feels so good that we don't think about these things. It's very selfish I know. Of course if he was to find himself single in the future I would jump at the chance of being with him, but in our present situation it would not and could not happen.
If we got found out it would kick off big time so we are very careful. He has much more to lose than me but apparently I'm worth the risk...

Wickedkitten

purpletoenails wrote: »

I know this wasn't directed at me, and I can't remember if I've mentioned this conversation before, but basically we were talking one day recently and I asked him what would happen if his wife found out. He said that would be the end of it, and I asked if he meant our relationship, he said no, his marriage. So I asked him if it was worth risking everything for the sake of the limited real time we spend together, and he said yes, it was.

I do find that hard to understand.

1. That reads like if his wife found out about it, then she would be the one that would end it.

2. If it is worth risking everything yet not actually ending his marriage for it, then he is banking on not getting caught

Antimony

purpletoenails wrote: »

Your guess is as good as mine! Could be either of those things.

That's very telling statement, don't you think..?

Lotus-eater

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

It's funny but this actually makes you sound really lovely.

Maybe you work in sales?:rotfl:

I am really lovely, like a cuddly teddy bear

But, I know my bad points and I can be very very very bad :rotfl:

Couldn't work in sales, not a suit kind of person, too honest and forthright. I run my own business part time now and when I have a customer who doesn't need anything, I tell them, I've lost alot of work because of it.
I also don't work for people I don't like, often undercharge for older people, see I'm an angel :A

purpletoenails

Errata wrote: »

Hypothetical questions, as yours was, always get hypotheticial answers, which his was. The carry no meaning whatsoever.

Yes I suppose no one knows for certain how they or someone else will behave in a situation until it arises, they can only say what they think is likely to happen based on their own experience.

euronorris

Lotus-eater wrote: »

It doesn't worry me at all how I am perceived by most people, I'll say what I like and look how I like. One woman I know said to me once, you're looking very hairy today.
I puzzled over that for a minute, then had ask what she meant? Your beard........
I'd grown this huge honking beard and completely forgot about it. That's how much I care about how I look :rotfl:

Oh it depends entirely on the day to be honest.

If I am feeling good already, I won't give a monkeys if I fall over in the rain and mud and look like a drowned cat! I'd probably laugh even. But, if I am already feeling a bit down about myself that day, I am suddenly much more aware of how others will perceive me, and falling over in the rain and mud would put me in a foul mood for the rest of the day and I might even cry at the embarassment of it all.

Lotus-eater

purpletoenails wrote: »

Not quite sure what you mean by this, sounds painful though.

Fist in mouth?

That's where you look back and go............. OHHHHHHHH MYYYY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD !!!!!!! What was I thinking of............................. and how have I got myself in this situation and why did I hurt myself so much.

What a tit I am.

euronorris

purpletoenails wrote: »

I don't know if my self esteem was low to start with, but I am aware that it is slowly being eroded, as I am starting to feel that there must be something wrong with me.

I understand that feeling. Interestingly, you get the same feeling when you are the one who is cheated on.

For your own sake, if no one elses, get out and get out now whilst it's still relatively easy to rebuild your self esteem.

lostinrates

purpletoenails wrote: »

No, he invited me because he knows that I would love to go there, because I would enjoy the break, and because he would like to spend some proper time with me. He didn't know I wouldn't be able to go, I could feasibly have organised something if the timing had been better.



I don't know if my self esteem was low to start with, but I am aware that it is slowly being eroded, as I am starting to feel that there must be something wrong with me.



I know this wasn't directed at me, and I can't remember if I've mentioned this conversation before, but basically we were talking one day recently and I asked him what would happen if his wife found out. He said that would be the end of it, and I asked if he meant our relationship, he said no, his marriage. So I asked him if it was worth risking everything for the sake of the limited real time we spend together, and he said yes, it was.

I do find that hard to understand.

so, all he has to do is tell her and its over? Just like that? He's not worried about wrangling and a push/pull for months/years? What's he waiting for then? Seems a less impossible extraction would be possible for him.