Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

Pollycat

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

I thought it was all over too, when he told me the weekend before last that he couldn't hug me because he "needs more time" - this being three days after he found out that *she* wasn't going back to work. When it was just an infatuation I was telling myself it was separate from our relationship, but when it appeared to have changed his feelings for me I decided enough was enough.

He text me after four days of silence to say he was sorry and it was all his fault, although he didn't say what was his fault. I had to come back anyway on Wednesday because I needed some stuff, and I admit when I first saw him I thought "what am I throwing away?" He still attracts me (although he's no Adonis, just an ordinary bloke), and I do have 37 years invested in this marriage.

I'm telling myself that it is something that I've got him and she hasn't, at least as it now stands. I hope she feels a damn fool for chasing someone out of her league. He tells me now that he could never have lived with her "because she is dangerous" - anyone else spot the irony in that? (Drat can't get the rolley eyes smiley to work now ).

There was a chap singing in town today - when he started singing a song called Time to Say Goodbye my OH stood rivetted and insisted on listening right to the end, so I know he is still emotionally tangled up. However he has said that at no time in all this did he ever intend it to split us up (naive or what?) so that again is something for me to cling on to.

I'm not sure whether we will get through this in the end, but having looked at random examples of the other blokes around in our sort of age group I decided that it is going to be him or no-one!

I'll keep you all posted!

Thanks, Bogof_Babe.

I have to say, it sounds like you really have your head screwed on right, you seem to read between the lines of what your OH is telling you and are are very much in touch with what he's not saying (i.e. listening to the song).

You've thought about what you want (i.e. him) so you know where you want to be.

I think it will probably take a lot of talking through about what happened and why.
You might feel that you don't want to know but when it happened to me, I felt I had to know why.

I'm not sure if there was intimacy between your OH and this much younger woman (and I don't want to know) but it might be easy to forgive but it's much harder (well, it was for me) to forget.

I wish you lots of luck, as you say, 37 years invested in a marriage is not to be thrown away lightly.

FatVonD

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Your life is so glamorous and exciting :rotfl:

I take the term 'low maintenance' to whole new levels

Marisco

MrsE wrote: »

Can an affair ever have a happy ending?




Not for all parties involved, no.

Yes , you're right. It does, of course depend on who you ask. Although you can have different answers from the same person, i.e no it wasn't a happy ending when my ex left, yes it was, when oh left his ex Although, having said that, when I got myself sorted, my ex leaving was the best thing that happened!! But initially, no, it wasn't happy. But you have to dust yourself down and get on with it.:)

sparky1989

Hi i have my eye on a older lady (age isnt important) and a bit of a cougar /fox . She is playing hard to get ATM but deep down i know she likes me judging by all the letters (sometime written in red ink) I will play it cool for a little longer.Wish me luck with this cat .

POPPYOSCAR

Pollycat, I think you have a stalker!

FatVonD

sparky1989 wrote: »

(sometime written in red ink)

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

gratefulforhelp_2

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Yes, so can it be said then that adultery is wrong!

To be fair, the polygamous marriage set up isn't (yet) allowed for in the British collective morality.

ellies_angel wrote: »

my exhusband had an affair, I divorced him and went onto meet the love of my life. Yes for me it had a happy ending!

Were children involved?

Pollycat

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3459755

Waste no time on the !!!!!! known as Sparky1989 - he is fresh out of nursery.

victory

sparky1989 wrote: »

rs (sometime written in red ink) .

Is that code then for I fancy you?:rotfl:

Pollycat

Please do not encourage the troll known as sparky1989.