Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

VestanPance

willow_loulou wrote: »

Some one tell me she will stop soon please

I hope for your sake she does. Although I'd say anyone in her position acting in such a manner is doing so as they see you as a threat.

purpletoenails

victory wrote: »

Maybe the question has been asked and answered but in the 3 weeks he was away on his hols with his wife and kids I seem to remember he never rang you once? Have I got that wrong? If so the next point is invalid but how can that be all consuming passionate love that he will leave his wife for you when he was with his family and never gave you a second thought?

Now the ultimatum, have you seen him since, has he not answered you? Has he not put things into motion and told his wife, told you anything?

Do you keep in touch with email? Text? It does not seem to be a daily contact relationship, why would it not be if his need for you is that strong? However he could he would, wouldn't he?

No he was in touch every couple of days this holiday, messaging rather than ringing, as he was abroad, and of course it would have been extremely difficult to have rung me with so many people around all the time.

We decided that he could let me know what he was going to do next time I see him.

We keep in touch everyday, he usually messages to see how my day is going then will speak on the phone when he is on his way home from work. He sends me a goodnight message every night without fail. Some evenings we will play games on the internet for an hour or so.

victory

Thanks:D............................................

lostinrates

purpletoenails wrote: »

Some evenings we will play games on the internet for an hour or so.

Time he perhaps could be spending with his daughter, or even wife had he been trying to make the marriage work? To them this is another time he's probably ''working hard''.

I'm sorry PTN, again, I don't say that to be cruel, but I can't help but point out how it would looks ''from the other side''.

mountainofdebt

purpletoenails wrote: »

No he was in touch every couple of days this holiday, messaging rather than ringing, as he was abroad, and of course it would have been extremely difficult to have rung me with so many people around all the time.

We decided that he could let me know what he was going to do next time I see him.

We keep in touch everyday, he usually messages to see how my day is going then will speak on the phone when he is on his way home from work. He sends me a goodnight message every night without fail. Some evenings we will play games on the internet for an hour or so.

You see this is the bit I really don't get and this is why I think him leaving his wife will be nothing more than when the price (= when he stands to lose the least amount of money) is right.

I would have more respect for men llike him - and yes I do include my father in that group of men - if only he could be honest (ha now there's an irony in itself) with the women they are supposed to be in love with rather than see it as a business transaction.

purpletoenails

lostinrates wrote: »

Time he perhaps could be spending with his daughter, or even wife had he been trying to make the marriage work? To them this is another time he's probably ''working hard''.

I'm sorry PTN, again, I don't say that to be cruel, but I can't help but point out how it would looks ''from the other side''.

Yes, I can see how it would look, but actually he does only go on the internet if there's nothing else he's required to do. I'm also 100% certain that he would put his children before me.

mountainofdebt

purpletoenails wrote: »

Yes, I can see how it would look, but actually he does only go on the internet if there's nothing else he's required to do. I'm also 100% certain that he would put his children before me.

So you're a time filler then? He sounds more committed to you the more we learn about him.

purpletoenails

mountainofdebt wrote: »

So you're a time filler then? He sounds more committed to you the more we learn about him.

No, not at all, I'm just pointing out that he doesn't neglect his household duties in order to waste time playing daft internet games with me

lostinrates

purpletoenails wrote: »

No, not at all, I'm just pointing out that he doesn't neglect his household duties in order to waste time playing daft internet games with me

The things that make a relationship good rther than just existant are not just the fufilling of duties and requirements but the things you are not ''duty bound'' to do but do anyway.
eta: Ican't imagine what the ''stuff'' you can't and rightly can't share with us is. But...none of this is nice.

northerner77

Hi everyone - simple bloke here, addicted to this thread despite myself.

Had wanted to come on previously and defend PTN who seems a good person but was reluctant as I thought I'd get savaged by some of the women on here...

I'm no angel, have been messed around in relationships (not at the marriage level) & equally been a bit of a b.stard to girls in my young carefree days but nothing remotely like this - what her bloke (and without the immaturity excuse) is doing is just cruelty, inexcusable selfishness, I've tried to possibly imagine myself in the situation and I cannot.....ever. How could I treat my wife/kids and/or lover in such a callous dishonest way? Utterly beyond my comprehension. Am I being a bit over the top here? Or naiive?

PTN needs to go up & knee him in the bollox and walk away, some decent man worthy of her will turn up before too long.