Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

victory

I...............................................

victory

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poet123

radiography wrote: »

The above quote is not related to everything I have to say, but some will reference it, and I am not picking out this poster alone as many are guilty of the following.

I hope you realise how offensive you're being, whilst lecturing about rudeness. I'm not a dog for you to train about "empathy and restraint". I have exhibited plenty of empathy for the wife and children that this woman's relationship will have a negative effect on, just not for your side of the argument, and that has absolutely nothing to do with my Asperger's.

I appreciate your comments re this not being wholly directed at me, but as you quoted me I will respond to some of your points if I may.

You refer to my side of the argument, but as I agree with your sentiments and opinion in many ways, we are actually on the same side of the "argument". Where I would take issue is with how you couch that opinion, and why it should take the form of an argument. This is a forum, a place for reasoned debate, not a platform for puerile pointless argument. That approach never moves an issue forward.

radiography wrote: »

To anyone who accused me of rudeness whilst discussing me with others in this thread (i.e. not directed to me): talking over someone's head about their condition when it's not been directly disclosed and just dug up from their posting history is rude.

For my part here I responded to a suggestion that your condition, which you had disclosed on another thread could have a bearing on your responses. I don't think it was rude to bring it up, as it had been openly disclosed by you, and was, I think, done to mitigate the perception of your comments. You say your AS had no bearing on the way you expressed your opinion, fine, I am perfectly willing to accept that with or without the condition people can be rude, if that was your intent as you state, then the aim was achieved. You were unnecessarily rude imo

radiography wrote: »

I, at least, acknowledge when I'm being provocative. It's intentional. I read the first pages of posts in this thread and people called this woman things that I would not put into writing. Some of them were "thanked" copiously. The tide has turned and most of the people who still have the patience to read this thread are sympathetic to the OP; I did not recognise this and inadvertently threw myself to the wolves there.

I don't think the tide turned as you describe it, I think people began to see PTN as flesh and blood with failings but still someone who merited being listened to and not castigated at every turn. They saw no need for overt rudeness to be displayed, even if they profoundly disagree with her actions (as I do) rudeness is rarely required to get a point across, and adds little to any discussion. This is why your posts were commented on.

radiography wrote: »

So, to sum up: I knew I was being rude to this lady and other posters here (who, in turn, have been rude to others). I don't have empathy for her situation, as she has put herself into it. I think it is bizarre to lecture someone about rudeness when you all display at least equivalent measures yourselves (albeit less "obviously").

radiography wrote: »

In terms of your own opinions, labelling people as bitter because they've been hurt in past relationships and practising amateur psychology on them is also rude. I would not normally comment on rudeness so much, but many of you decided that you're so perfectly polite that you should instruct people with Asperger's on how to behave in a public setting, so you should really ensure your approach is up to scratch before passing on any guidance in that area.

Regarding the amateur issue, again, I can only speak personally but I am not an amateur in this respect. My working life is spent with those who are on the spectrum, and I was merely outlining a fact that many with AS have no conception of how their words or actions can hurt. You have cleared that up for us as you have stated you had rudeness as intent when you posted.

That does not negate my comment re others with AS. You said " I'm not a dog for you to train about "empathy and restraint". All chidren need such training, we have all had it, we don't acquire it by osmosis, my point was that those with AS need more reinforcement of that than others because of their condition, not a criticism. but a fact.

radiography wrote: »

I had some of the strictest parents on the planet, have a lot of friends, and went to a school where the rudeness of the other children surpassed anything I could come up with intentionally. There is, frankly, no need to be so dismissive of someone simply because you've heard they're a) young and/or b) on the autistic spectrum. That is discriminative.

Hate me for what I say - I don't care - but don't pick on me for a label I possess or the number of years I've existed for. I can change neither of these things.

Goodbye.

Your comments were reacted to in the same way that would have happened had anyone posted in that vein. To do otherwise because of your age or your AS would have been both patronising and discriminatory. Quite rightly you should not be judged on these issues, however, equally rightly others should not hold back their opinions on your posts because of them. You can't have it both ways I am afraid.

Your opinions were not dismissed, they were challenged for the tone and vehemence. To imply anyone would hate you is a tad melodramatic and a misrepresentation of the issue.

POPPYOSCAR

poet123 what a well written post.

Bogof_Babe

Looks like someone reported radiography and all their posts except one are deleted. Bit harsh isn't it? I've seen much worse in general banter on DT.

For a young person I thought they (sorry not sure if M or F) put their points very articulately. On a subject like this some people are bound to have very strong views.

victory

Still think strong views can be worded with less 'in your face' calmness

SaLoGo

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Looks like someone reported radiography and all their posts except one are deleted. Bit harsh isn't it? I've seen much worse in general banter on DT.

I presumed that Radiography had deleted the posts themselves as they ended their last post with a very firm and final "goodbye". Can you delete your own posts?

ETA: apparently you can! I learn something new every day

POPPYOSCAR

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Looks like someone reported radiography and all their posts except one are deleted. Bit harsh isn't it? I've seen much worse in general banter on DT.

For a young person I thought they (sorry not sure if M or F) put their points very articulately. On a subject like this some people are bound to have very strong views.

Really? I thought they were OTT but not so bad as to be reported.

I have noticed that MSE has come down a lot more lately on such things. One long time poster was pprd the other day in DT.

I know people do have strong views, but one of the rules of this site is 'please be nice to all moneysavers', so I think those strong views should be expressed with a little tempering.

victory

Yes you can delete yourself

POPPYOSCAR

victory wrote: »

Yes you can delete yourself

That sounds a bit painful to me!!