Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

VestanPance

essexgirly wrote: »

Hate to say this Vestan..... but you are so bitter, I'm sure that in time you will sweeten, but at this precise moment.... You talk a load of b((ll)cks. Get over it

So she isn't seeing a married man. This thread doesn't exist. That guy isn't lying to his wife and children while he sneaks off with his bit of the side. She isn't complicit in his deceit. Amazing!

Marisco

VestanPance wrote: »

So she isn't seeing a married man. This thread doesn't exist. That guy isn't lying to his wife and children while he sneaks off with his bit of the side. She isn't complicit in his deceit. Amazing!

Whatever you feel about PTN, she has conducted herself on this thread with dignity. You would do well to try to do the same.

VestanPance

Marisco wrote: »

Whatever you feel about PTN, she has conducted herself on this thread with dignity. You would do well to try to do the same.

The truth hurts?

essexgirly

VestanPance wrote: »

So she isn't seeing a married man. This thread doesn't exist. That guy isn't lying to his wife and children while he sneaks off with his bit of the side. She isn't complicit in his deceit. Amazing!

Yes she is seeing a married man, yes this thread does exist, yes this guy is lying to his wife. And yes you are living in the real world. These things happen. I hope that you realise this and at some stage move on in your life. Yes its carp, and yes it does happen, please dont be bitter all of your life, as they say "its too short".

VestanPance

essexgirly wrote: »

Yes she is seeing a married man, yes this thread does exist, yes this guy is lying to his wife. And yes you are living in the real world. These things happen. I hope that you realise this and at some stage move on in your life. Yes its carp, and yes it does happen, please dont be bitter all of your life, as they say "its too short".

Some of us stand for our morals, not bow to those that show none. These things happen. Don't go looking for sympathy, respect or anything else if you can't control a simple action like not having an affair.

Oh, and I held these views long before my ex, and always will.

essexgirly

VestanPance wrote: »

Some of us stand for our morals, not bow to those that show none. These things happen. Don't go looking for sympathy, respect or anything else if you can't control a simple action like not having an affair.

Oh, and I held these views long before my ex, and always will.

So, please tell us, why you cant move on and have a normal healthy relationship in the future. I'm sure you said in a previous post, words to the effect that you wouldn't get involved with anybody else. Please correct me if i'm wrong.

VestanPance

I learn from my mistakes. I put my faith in someone once and they destroyed that.

I'm no longer trusting enough of anyone to even consider a relationship, so I'm not going to subject anyone to being with an untrusting guy. It's not fair to subject that on anyone, and I have no faith in others to enjoy that type of relationship anymore.

essexgirly

VestanPance wrote: »

I learn from my mistakes. I put my faith in someone once and they destroyed that.

I'm no longer trusting enough of anyone to even consider a relationship, so I'm not going to subject anyone to being with an untrusting guy. It's not fair to subject that on anyone, and I have no faith in others to enjoy that type of relationship anymore.

Well, I can understand now why you are untrusting. And yes its not fair that people have to be subjected to this, your faith in others has undoubtedly been mistrusted, but I'm sure (and would hope) in time, that you learn to trust other women. I'm sure PTN has in her own mind, been trusting of "the other guy" (for what of a better phrase"). She and only she can go on her instincts, yes, she has come on here for our opinions, and varied ones she has got!

But I for one believe, that everybody has their own choices, be it right or wrong, we all make our own decisions. PTN, you have had all this advice, but I don't believe for one instance, all this input has changed your mind on this guy. It may have given you insight, but you still have your feelings.

I also think, (for what its worth) that his wife must have an idea that something is adrift (c'mon all you women out there, we all have our instincts) For whatever reason, she is not acting upon it. As I have said before, just my opinion.

MissMitch

VestanPance wrote: »

I learn from my mistakes. I put my faith in someone once and they destroyed that.

I'm no longer trusting enough of anyone to even consider a relationship, so I'm not going to subject anyone to being with an untrusting guy. It's not fair to subject that on anyone, and I have no faith in others to enjoy that type of relationship anymore.

But in reality, you're never going to find anyone you can truly trust 100%, nobody on this thread or this board is...it's not possible to trust a partner, a friend, a parent a dog 100% and know for sure that they'll always act in the way you want them to act in any given circumstance, so you're setting yourself up with an impossible task from the outset!

You even said yourself that you acted in ways you didn't like when you broke up with your ex, so you effectively can't even trust yourself. But you can have faith in yourself to try your best and if things don't work out then at least you know you did your best. You can act kinder towards yourself and maybe in time to someone else, and get yourself to a point where you know you'll be alright if it all goes belly-up. At the moment you seem hellbent on punishing and torturing yourself, your ex is not doing it, nor any prospective future partner, and, I'm sorry to say but not PTN who really doesn't deserve the vitriol you're posting towards her, because it's about you and the fact that you can't deal with what's happened to you, not about a random stranger on MSE!

Sorry if that seems mean, but I had to say something!

VestanPance

No, I've always had these views and would be happy to post them. Anything I've posted in regards to PTN is honest and truthful. She may not like it, you may not like it, but then she's getting answers to her actions not a pat on the back.

I'm not punishing myself. I'm looking after myself. If you can't trust someone 100% there is no point in a relationship. Relationships are built on trust.