Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

Bogof_Babe

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Hi Bogofbabe

I hope you don't mind me asking - but are you ok?

Thanks for asking. I'm not sure tbh. You know that feeling when you say "someone's walked over your grave", well that's how I feel right now. I've spent the last few days writing in Word a long account of all the events since this kicked off in 2009, right up to today, and piecing everything together to clarify my mind. I'm up to 11,400 words now, and still thinking of other things to include. Not sure why I'm doing it, but it is proving cathartic.

I also have some amazing online (female!) friends on another (tiny, private) website, and they are helping me put one foot in front of the other.

My appetite is shot. I'm having to force myself to eat but I know it's important so I'm trying. Lucky I don't drink or I'd be unconscious by now!

Just taking each day as it comes, and making sure I get out for some fresh air and excercise. I'm in our tiny flat, he is still at home. I don't know what's going on in his mind as he text me on Saturday saying it was all his fault, he's so very sorry, and that he wants me back, but I text back that I needed time to decide what to do, and he replied "ok, understand". That night I decided to phone him at home, but he was out! Didn't let the grass grow, did he? [damn I wish we still had the rolleyeyes smiley).

POPPYOSCAR

Bogofbabe Thanks for coming back to me.

Glad that you have somewhere to off load to when the need arises.

Your are right to eat even though you do not feel like it or you will make yourself ill.

All is not lost by the sound of things. Do you know where he was when he was out? Perhaps it was quite innocent and he had gone to the shops/to a friend etc.

I hope you work things out for you whatever it is that you want.

purpletoenails

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Can I ask why that is?

Because if we had reached the point we are at now but 2 years down the line I think it would be easier for him to make the decision. His children would both be at uni or working, I would be able to move to be near to him. Financially it would be less of a strain.

CH27

purpletoenails wrote: »

Because if we had reached the point we are at now but 2 years down the line I think it would be easier for him to make the decision. His children would both be at uni or working, I would be able to move to be near to him. Financially it would be less of a strain.

His children being older won't lessen the loss of their family enviroment.

POPPYOSCAR

purpletoenails wrote: »

Because if we had reached the point we are at now but 2 years down the line I think it would be easier for him to make the decision. His children would both be at uni or working, I would be able to move to be near to him. Financially it would be less of a strain.

Yes, I see.

Bogof_Babe

Well I assumed he was out with our best friends, a couple we've often gone out with for a meal, but I text him yesterday saying I imagine that he was with *&* when I rang, but he hasn't replied so I'm now getting suspicious that his earlier text was just a ruse to make sure the coast was clear, as originally I'd been meant to be going home on Saturday.

It came to a head last week when he finally said something truthful for once, which was that he "needs more time" before he feels he can give me a hug. This was a couple of days after he found out that his beloved had left work, so he might not see her again!

POPPYOSCAR

I don't like texts personally. Can you not ring him and speak to him and ask him where he was?

When do you think you might go home? or do you not want to be with him right now?

POPPYOSCAR

Purpletoenails I apologize for using your thread to communicate with Bogofbabe and I hope you do not mind, but I have a lot of respect for her and the way she has conducted herself in her circumstances on here, and I am concerned for her with her situation.

VestanPance

purpletoenails wrote: »

Please don't take this the wrong way, and it's not meant to be patronising in any way, but I have a son your age and I have to say that it is quite expected to be idealistic and see everything in black and white when you are barely a quarter of the way through your life. Unless you're intending to lead a very sheltered existence, as you get older and experience more things you may become more tolerant and empathetic towards people and situations that you currently find abhorrent.

Some people keep their morals, unlike some like you how obviously drop them when flattered by a married man.

purpletoenails

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Purpletoenails I apologize for using your thread to communicate with Bogofbabe and I hope you do not mind, but I have a lot of respect for her and the way she has conducted herself in her circumstances on here, and I am concerned for her with her situation.

I agree with your sentiments and I absolutely don't mind at all