Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

POPPYOSCAR

purpletoenails wrote: »

Please don't take this the wrong way, and it's not meant to be patronising in any way, but I have a son your age and I have to say that it is quite expected to be idealistic and see everything in black and white when you are barely a quarter of the way through your life. Unless you're intending to lead a very sheltered existence, as you get older and experience more things you may become more tolerant and empathetic towards people and situations that you currently find abhorrent.

Yes I would agree.

I am a completely different person now than when I was 21. Life experience has taught me to view life very differently.

MissMitch

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Good post MissMitch.

Surprisingly enough in France it is culturally accepted ,I understand, for men to have a mistress - and in a mainly Catholic country as well!!!!!

Thanks. I was thinking of France too, and Italy to some degree.

FatVonD

purpletoenails wrote: »

Surely thats for her to decide? It takes all sorts, and if she's generally happy to let things continue as they are, then that's her prerogative.

I agree, if she is making a choice based on full knowledge of all the facts then it's up to her. What I disagree with is somebody making that choice for someone else for someone else behind their back when, in all probability, they may not be happy with it.

gratefulforhelp_2

MissMitch wrote: »

Also infidelity is not recognised by the legal system other than for grounds for divorce is in no way on the same 'moral' scale as murder. :eek:

I think the example I gave was fraud:eek:

I don't want to argue this back and forth, but I think it's very sad that people climb on the morally high horse and write people off as 'bad', weak or morally deficient because they haven't managed to decently extricate themselves from a marriage which is obviously no longer working for them before embarking on an affair. Yes, in an ideal world they would act better, but it's far from an ideal world...however I think it's actually pretty damn scary when we start judging them as inherently bad people without even having any idea as to what or why they have found themselves in that situation.

In essence I agree with this, if I hadn't read this thread I would doubtless think PTN had even more good qualities than I do now, and I'm sure this bloke has good qualities.
He hasn't exactly covered himself in glory though, has he?

purpletoenails wrote: »

Please don't take this the wrong way, and it's not meant to be patronising in any way, but I have a son your age and I have to say that it is quite expected to be idealistic and see everything in black and white when you are barely a quarter of the way through your life. Unless you're intending to lead a very sheltered existence, as you get older and experience more things you may become more tolerant and empathetic towards people and situations that you currently find abhorrent.

One person's idealist is another's highly principled and well brought up poster;)

POPPYOSCAR

radiography wrote: »

So when I'm an old bat I'll go around seducing other peoples' husbands?!

If anything you should be ashamed that someone half your age has a better grasp of ethics and not acting out of self-interest than you have developed in your time on this planet.

Unbelievable.

No

But you might be more polite in the way you write your posts.

nickyhutch

purpletoenails wrote: »

Please don't take this the wrong way, and it's not meant to be patronising in any way, but I have a son your age and I have to say that it is quite expected to be idealistic and see everything in black and white when you are barely a quarter of the way through your life. Unless you're intending to lead a very sheltered existence, as you get older and experience more things you may become more tolerant and empathetic towards people and situations that you currently find abhorrent.

Very well said. I'm 41 and accept that I have yet much to experience and learn and hope that I can become even more tolerant and empathetic as I learn from new experiences.

gratefulforhelp_2

radiography wrote: »

So when I'm an old bat I'll go around seducing other peoples' husbands?!

On the whole it might be better not:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

If anything you should be ashamed that someone half your age has a better grasp of ethics and not acting out of self-interest than you have developed in your time on this planet.

Not to mention being most erudite:D

Errata

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Good post MissMitch.

Surprisingly enough in France it is culturally accepted ,I understand, for men to have a mistress - and in a mainly Catholic country as well!!!!!

Not so much nowadays, and becoming less. Modern wives won't put up with it and young women are now more capable of earning a good living and have more self respect than to be grateful for regular cinq a sept.
In any event, it was only ever the bourgeosie that behaved in this way, the poor working classes were too busy working their fingers to the bone to have the time, money and energy for extra-marital hanky panky.

nickyhutch

radiography wrote: »

So when I'm an old bat I'll go around seducing other peoples' husbands?!

If anything you should be ashamed that someone half your age has a better grasp of ethics and not acting out of self-interest than you have developed in your time on this planet.

Unbelievable.

Goodness me. Unbelievable indeed. You are very sure of yourself for someone your age. I hope you grow out of it, for your sake.

POPPYOSCAR

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

Not to mention being most erudite:D

Is that what you think about someone who calls older people "old bats"?

Surprising.