Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

Mrs.W_2

Reading through this thread, one thought struck me, and I know it sounds cruel, but it's not meant to be!
You've received more attention from the respondents in this thread than, lately, from your married lover.

POPPYOSCAR

purpletoenails wrote: »

Not very long I don't think- months rather than years.

I don't think he is likely to do this purely because he lives and works so far away, but I suppose it would spur him on to take action if he was going to.



I've never asked specifically. However, early on when we were still just friends and I asked him why he put up with being unhappy, he said that his own parents divorce when he was a teenager had affected him quite badly and therefore would not leave while the children were still at home. He has also said more than once that he's made his bed and he has to lie in it for now.

But that could be years before that happens.

I know of children who have not left home until they were 28!

Lotus-eater

purpletoenails wrote: »

He has also said more than once that he's made his bed and he has to lie in it for now.

Unfortunately, just the sort of thing that may be said if he wanted to keep you hanging on, but didn't want to promise anything.

Marisco

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

But that could be years before that happens.

I know of children who have not left home until they were 28!

My oh's brother never left home!!!!! :eek:

POPPYOSCAR

Marisco wrote: »

My oh's brother never left home!!!!! :eek:

My son is saving up for a flash car but I keep trying to persuade him to save for a deposit on a flat instead!!

Bogof_Babe

You know, PTN, we've all said that you come across as such a nice, genuine, well-meaning person. You can and will make some single chap very happy, if only you give yourself a chance to meet him.

One last chance for his nibs when you next make contact, and no excuses on his part. Either he tells his wife NOW and sees a divorce solicitor, or you wish him well and go your separate ways. You ARE strong enough, and determined enough. Please don't waste any more of your precious life in this limbo.

gratefulforhelp_2

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

I'd say it all hangs on what sort of holiday he had!

If that's true, how absolutely dreadful to be his wife and unaware that the spotlight is on her and her marriage and family life depend on her behaviour there:eek:

POPPYOSCAR

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

If that's true, how absolutely dreadful to be his wife and unaware that the spotlight is on her and her marriage and family life depend on her behaviour there:eek:

I am sure Bogofbabe will correct me if I am wrong but I took that to be a little tongue in cheek.

Bogof_Babe

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I am sure Bogofbabe will correct me if I am wrong but I took that to be a little tongue in cheek.

Well in a way, but I really meant that if he has enjoyed the holiday and being with his family, and barely given PTN a passing thought, he might come back wiith a different viewpoint to if he's spent the entire time missing her madly, and wishing he was not stuck with having to put on a false front of being a happy family/married man.

I think his own mind needs clarifying more than PTN's. I think he might be in for a bit of a shock actually!

purpletoenails

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

You know, PTN, we've all said that you come across as such a nice, genuine, well-meaning person. You can and will make some single chap very happy, if only you give yourself a chance to meet him.

One last chance for his nibs when you next make contact, and no excuses on his part. Either he tells his wife NOW and sees a divorce solicitor, or you wish him well and go your separate ways. You ARE strong enough, and determined enough. Please don't waste any more of your precious life in this limbo.

Thank you

I think I will be doing something similar to this when I see him.

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Well in a way, but I really meant that if he has enjoyed the holiday and being with his family, and barely given PTN a passing thought, he might come back wiith a different viewpoint to if he's spent the entire time missing her madly, and wishing he was not stuck with having to put on a false front of being a happy family/married man.

I think his own mind needs clarifying more than PTN's. I think he might be in for a bit of a shock actually!

I agree, I don't think he would make such a big decision based on what happens during a few weeks holiday, but it may have some influence in clarifying how he feels about me.

He's been in touch since he's been away, which has surprised me somewhat as I really wasn't expecting to hear from him til he got home.