Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

POPPYOSCAR

purpletoenails wrote: »

Maybe she managed to keep a happy face on for the benefit of her children, in order to minimise any further stress to them after her marriage broke down.

Yes very true.

Something that unfortunately some people just cannot seem to do.

vroombroom

if you read my post on page 2, it explains there why my mother kicked him out - he had an affair and then flitted between the two women for almost a year. She saw sense.

ANyway I've given you a child's point of view of it. It doesnt matter what age you are, you don't get over your parents splitting up.

I'm sure you're a nice person in different circumstances but, I must be honest, I have a very low opinion of women who cannot get their own boyfriends, so I'm going to butt out of this thread.

I sincerely hope you get whatever it is you want x

nickyhutch

vroombroom wrote: »

ANyway I've given you a child's point of view of it. It doesnt matter what age you are, you don't get over your parents splitting up.

I have, as have my sister and brothers. My son has.

erdd2

purpletoenails wrote: »

erdd2 wrote: »

Bold bit is the comment I was responding to.

To further clarify that in no way did I intimate a child is responsible for a parents happiness....

an adult child suggesting their parents pain is selfish intimates a lack of understanding that parents too can feel pain, are not immune from pain, can need support with their pain, that support if not forthcoming can increase the pain, blah blah...not one bit intimating the child is responsible for the parents happiness...yes many selfish parents cry out about themselves and burden their children....a point I made earlier that in my view is unnacceptable and selfish

I would have thought my earlier posts were indicators that your were off base with this assumption......but hey PTN this thread has been a bit of a saga

erdd2

vroombroom wrote: »

ANyway I've given you a child's point of view of it. It doesnt matter what age you are, you don't get over your parents splitting up.

You may never forget but it would appear awful to remain stuck and unable to get over parents splitting up forever.

POPPYOSCAR

vroombroom wrote: »

if you read my post on page 2, it explains there why my mother kicked him out - he had an affair and then flitted between the two women for almost a year. She saw sense.

ANyway I've given you a child's point of view of it. It doesnt matter what age you are, you don't get over your parents splitting up.

I'm sure you're a nice person in different circumstances but, I must be honest, I have a very low opinion of women who cannot get their own boyfriends, so I'm going to butt out of this thread.

I sincerely hope you get whatever it is you want x

I understand that it has obviously been very difficult for you with the circumstances you describe. Your father coming and going like that in your life must have been impossible at times for you all.So I can see where you are coming from on a personal level.

But it is not like that for every child. Some are better off when waring parties part company - they have a much more peaceful and settled life.

A break up when handled responsibility by all concerned can in some circumstances be better for the children than being caught up in a bad marriage.

purpletoenails

erdd2 wrote: »

purpletoenails wrote: »

To further clarify that in no way did I intimate a child is responsible for a parents happiness....

an adult child suggesting their parents pain is selfish intimates a lack of understanding that parents too can feel pain, are not immune from pain, can need support with their pain, that support if not forthcoming can increase the pain, blah blah...not one bit intimating the child is responsible for the parents happiness...yes many selfish parents cry out about themselves and burden their children....a point I made earlier that in my view is unnacceptable and selfish

I would have thought my earlier posts were indicators that your were off base with this assumption......but hey PTN this thread has been a bit of a saga

Apologies - I misinterpreted your comment

And yes it certainly has!

erdd2

purpletoenails wrote: »

erdd2 wrote: »

Apologies - I misinterpreted your comment

And yes it certainly has!

Absolutely no need to apologise PTN, you are showing a strength and staying power in the face of some adversity and it is difficult to communicate clearly in a forum.....especially with such an emotive topic.

As you are aware (well should be I have said it often enough I do not condone the act of adultery, try not judge or ostracise others and childrens best interests are priority IMO....order of importance in reverse!

purpletoenails

vroombroom wrote: »

I'm sure you're a nice person in different circumstances but, I must be honest, I have a very low opinion of women who cannot get their own boyfriends, so I'm going to butt out of this thread. That's not really the reason I'm seeing him.

I sincerely hope you get whatever it is you want x

Thankyou, and thank you for taking the time to contribute your thoughts

Jewel_2

My ex had an affair, which is now obvious. I made the first move to break the relationship, but he was extremely clever and manipulative and I felt it was my decision.

It was the right decision. My ex is now married to someone who used to have a a life, a career, and her head screwed on. Now she has 4 screaming children, no job, and just stays at home looking after his offspring.

I was extremely thankful he had an affair, I'm now married to someone else and I am much happier, so yes, something good can become of it. The wife will probably be better off without him. I'm not blaming the OP, but the man in question isn't worth the time of day for cheating on his wife this way.